Grade school/high school sweetheart and I went separate ways after graduation, slowly drifting apart after about a year or so. It ended for good when she moved to another town, got heavily into drugs and alcohol, and got pregnant by a dirtbag while drunk and high. We didn’t speak to each other for about ten years, until we found each other on Facebook. Enough time has passed by now that we’re pretty good friends again.
Is she still on the drugs and alcohol?
Jayjay, I’m sorry your dad died but I’m glad your life changed for the better! Maybe just maybe there’s still some hope for me…
Here are a few that lasted at least a year:
- Girlfriend’s parents told her to stop seeing me (after 1 year, we were both 19 and in college) because they didn’t like her having a steady boyfriend
- We had a passionate relationship but were both idiots and broke up as passionately as we got together. (Had a very pleasant phone conversation with her last month after about 29 years.)
- First wife had a completely unrealistic concept of marriage and wasn’t really ready for it. She had an affair with her “soul mate” 6 months after the wedding. After it all came out she wouldn’t go to counseling, said she wanted to stay together but kept calling the soul mate. We separated and then finally divorced. (She never saw the guy again.)
- Girlfriend and I were in completely different stages of our lives. I openly started dating someone else and she decided not to tolerate it.
- Girlfriend wanted to date other people. OK, NP. Whoops, that meant I would date other people too and she couldn’t handle that.
- This one stuck, we’ve been married 17 years
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Decided to go back to his ex-girlfriend and broke up with me over the phone. I was more angry than anything - how dare he be so spineless and trite. Honestly I don’t know what blame I can throw my way over this one - it was a high school relationship and I probably shouldn’t have bothered entering it, but other than that…
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I broke it off first because I was going to college and I didn’t see us having a future together. We got back together when his mom died since he needed me to lean on and I did truly care for the guy. I went to college and I didn’t hear from him for six months, at which time he proposed, which shocked the hell out of me, but I accepted because again, I truly cared for the guy. A month or so later he broke it off with me. I was depressed and heartbroken.
Reasons it ended: college, getting back together simply because of his mom, proposing marriage even though we never spent any time together, and him cheating on me and being generally clueless. (that’s what was happening those six months) Plus he was into drugs and his mom dying fucked him up for a while. I should never have accepted his proposal or agreed to go back out with him after we’d already broken up.
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Went out for six months, didn’t love one another and never even got close to saying it, didn’t have sex, were more friends than anything. He proposed and I turned him down flat. Two days after that we had our first argument, he told me that we should stop seeing one another and I agreed. He tried to remain my friend but I thought he was a dick and didn’t go back out with him. I think you can see the reasons we didn’t last.
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Last one. I married this one. He didn’t like to touch me. We never cuddled. I remember many a time I would try to touch him with my shoulder or hand while sleepy in bed and him getting annoyed because it was “hot” or “hurt”. When we were seated on the couch I always had to maintain a good distance between us because he would say my hand on his knee “hurt”! Not surprisingly, we hardly ever had sex. The amount of rejection I felt over this is hard for me to believe now. I used to get so upset. I should have just left him at the first signs of this.
He also had a nasty anger problem. We could never go out anywhere without him acting like a jerk in traffic or screaming in the car because someone nudged him in the shop. If he stubbed his toe at home it was a half hour tirade and could end in tears. He threw things, he cursed, he cried, and he sometimes fell on the floor and pounded it with fists and feet.
I’ve talked more about this elsewhere so I’m not going to repeat myself fully.
Reasons we split: I found someone that I loved more than anything in this world (and it certainly wasn’t him, which I felt bad about but can’t change), his anger, all of the accumulated rejection. I should have left him earlier, as he finally went to see a psychiatrist after I left. I don’t think he would have ended it.
The relationships ended because of the same reason they’d begun - situations and circumstances.
She’s off drugs. She still drinks pretty heavily, unfortunately. I feel awful now because she started drinking in high school, and she was smoking pot by then too, but I didn’t know about it. I just couldn’t see where it was going, I guess. She’s now married to her second husband, and has 3 kids. Underneath it all, she’s still the same person I’ve always known, and we are pretty good friends again. But it took probably 10 years to get to this point. We were on again-off again crushes since we were 5, and that’s pretty hard to get over.