I am a Recruiter for a large company and people ALWAYS say, What do you recruit? my answer is always… People… for jobs.
Oh, and then comes the, Can you find me a job?
My response: Well of course I can! (rolling my eyes)
(Why do people assume that I have a list of job openings just waiting for them to fill.)
Of course when I do try to help people I get this:
You: I can only work 2 hours a week on Wednesdays because I go to school and you need to work around MY schedule and I want to make $100 per hour minimum…
Me: Oh Ok… well let me see what I have for you… NOTHING. Thank you for making this uncomfortable.
Have a good day… I of course am always the bad guy/girl because I didnt have exactly what they need…ugh. People…! I really dont like them all that much anymore.
I was a Piano Technician for 32 years. When I would tell people how I made my living, every tenth person or so would tell me about their Uncle named Opporknockity who used to be a piano tuner. (“Opporknockity Tunes” Get it? Get it?)
They would invariably lean back expectantly, waiting for me to be doubled over in convulsions of helpless laughter. I used to manage a polite grin and say I’d heard that one.
The thing is, any randomly selected piano tech has heard “The Opporknockity Joke” a thousand times.
The preceding sentence is wild-ass conjecture on my part, but I’m standing by it.
While I have never earned a cent conducting an orchestra, I sometimes would self-identify as a conductor. The response was invariably “Oh, like Keith Lockhart, right?” I found that particularly grating, partly because I didn’t really respect Lockhart at the time (I do now), and partly because it was clear that those people probably couldn’t name any other conductors. Rattle off names like Ozawa or Solti or even Bernstein and they’d probably give you a blank stare.
And there was the time someone looked really confused and imitated a train whistle.
When I was a Navy Seabee, the wife of a man who was with Naval Air asked me where I worked. I told her I was a Seabee. “Oh”, she says with a giggle, “10-4!”
No, I mean I’m a Navy Seabee. “Right…10-4!”
Okay, so you know how your husband is what is known as an “Airedale”? Well, the people who are designated in the construction trades are called “Seabees”, as a riff on the first two letters of Construction Battalion: CB.
“Oh, I see. Well, tell your friends ‘10-4’ for me!”
:smack:
When I worked for the Department of State, I had a conversation on an plane with a woman, who asked in a hushed voice what I did for the Department. I said that I was a facilities manager. “Ooh, what’s THAT?” with wide eyes. “Er, I manage facilities.” “So what do they make you do?” I could tell she was hoping I was CIA, so I told her in a semi-whisper: “Mostly wet work.” She looked shocked.
I’m in admin at a subtitling/post-production company in Los Angeles. We can translate to over 40 languages.
“So you speak all those languages?” astonished look
It never occurs to people that translators are, at minimum, bilingual in English and their native language. We couldn’t work with someone who didn’t read and understand English.
People have also assumed that since we have major studios as clients, I have all sorts of ins with famous people or people who can make them famous. One guy forced his contact card on me and started rambling about a *terrific *screenplay he’d written.
This guy at work, when I told him I was the new Philosophy professor, leaned in close and said “You tell Aristotle I don’t give two shits whether man came out of nature,” then laughed uproariously. He then told the people nearby what he had just said, and continued laughing.
A few months later, when I was introduced to someone else in his presence as “our Philosophy instructor,” this guy chimed in with, “It’s like I always tell him, I don’t give two shits whether man came out of nature.”
Last month, while he and I and a few other faculty members were talking about assessment with a consultant, I mentioned I teach Philosophy classes and this guy once again laughs and tells everyone “Philosophy! I told him to tell Aristotle I don’t give two shits whether man came out of nature!”
This probably has something to do with something Aristotle actually said*, but I read almost no Aristotle and have no idea what this guy is talking about. When I asked him, on the second occasion, to clarify what he meant, he just replied “Haha Aristotle was always going on about how man came out of nature. I don’t give two shits about that!”
*I am actually not confident that this is true, but like I said, I don’t know Aristotle.
Veterinary technician here. People hear the first half and assume I’m a DVM. Then I have to explain that I’m more like a nurse, but as opposed to having one standard set of job duties, I have to be a medical assistant, phlebototmist, lab tech, radiology tech, anesthesia tech, and janitor all in the same day.
“What have I seen you in?”/“What do I know you from?”/“Are you on telly?”
No. You haven’t seen me in anything, unless you’ve been frequenting physical theatre performances in the UK, or small independent films at quirky festivals. Which is unlikely, because if people actually went to that stuff there’d be money in the arts.
For my SO, I think it’s worse. He always gets: “So, what is the meaning of life?” or “So…do you just think really hard all day?” Now he just says he works in education, at which people knowingly nod “Ah, you’re a teacher”.
The first thing people reply when I tell them I’m a translator is “Oh ? Which languages ?”
The first thing people ask when I tell them “English” is “Oh, really ? Wow. You must speak English pretty well then, huh ?”
I always get the urge to reply “Actually I don’t, I just write random stuff and pray they don’t catch on. But hey, if the clients understood English they wouldn’t come to me, would they ?”
On OkCupid, where many people talk about their job, I had to take off any reference to my specific current line of work due to the number of people messaging me to essentially ask how they could get my job. This happens in real life too, often enough that I avoid telling people my job.
Yep, I’ve gotten that one, too, as well as several requests to synthesis coke…and totally blank stares when I explain I’m a polymer chemist that just makes really sticky stuff, nothing fun at all…
I’m an Operating Room Nurse. Most often I’m asked: “How can you stand all that blood?” My usual answer is that I’m also a Vampire and I don’t have to send out for lunch. (Eat your heart out Jim Butcher!)
