“What makes you think my relatives could afford that kind of a ransom?”
Do I know you? I know several polymer chemists that make sticky stuff!
When I worked in a genetics lab people immediately gravitated to either the welfare of or ickyness of the lab mice.
As a graphic designer people seemed to automatically assume I was involved with web development. But no, I’m not really into coding, sorry.
I’m a (former) Marine, and inevitably get asked “So, did you ever kill anybody?”
Terribly inappropriate no matter what the answer is, and when I tell them no, I was in Intelligence during peacetime, the “military (or Marine, from the real idiots) intelligence, now there’s an oxymoron!” comes up. Every. Single. Time.
I think from now on, when I get asked the kill question, I’m just going to go blank for a bit, and then start crying. I’ve taught myself how to, should take care of things…
I’m a technical writer. Some people just give me a blank stare, while others ask me what that is. I usually just tell them that I write the manuals no one ever reads.
Once joked in college why NASA had so many trains, but not ever serious about it.
It varies by where you are. When I started, my editor gave me a list of do-and-don’t, and accepting anything for free is a definite don’t. However, I can, for example, get something that everybody else is getting; if I go talk to an author at a book signing and the author is giving out free bookmarks or whatever to everybody who comes to the signing, I can take one. But if I get a book in the mail and it comes with a promotional CD or a mini chocolate bar or some fancy tea (all these things have happened), no way can I keep them.
Different media outlets have their own rules. It seems ours are stricter than others.
I’m an analyst for an insurance company.
My usuals are “What’s that?” or “What do you analyze?”
Really? I’d think you’d get the whole James Bond/spy thing.
In the 70s, I was a microbiologist, doing some research on syphilis.
Best response was “That’s nothing to clap about.”
When I tell people I deliver newspapers, at least half the time I get, “Oh, that’s so hard on your car. It’s not worth the money.” Now, of the two of us, who do you suppose has been doing this job for 10 years and has an idea of the costs and profit margins associated with the specific routes I do? If I worked at WalMart for 1/3 of the money, I’d drive just as far each day, and did I mention the 1/3 the money on the hour?
I also do eldercare, and staff scheduling. No one is quite so opinionated about those jobs. 
But when I was a proofreader–“Oh, I’d love to do that! I LOVE to read! I read all the time!” Yeah, I love to read too, but I wouldn’t generally choose to read a 400 page book (on a 100page/day deadline) on how to pass a comprehensive computer programmer test, and I don’t usually have to worry about fonts and graphs and glossaries and illustrations.
It depends on what I tell them I do.
When I model, the other models I hang around with understand that most of us do things other than be pretty in borrowed clothes, so when they ask what I do, I tell them about the writing. Mostly they ask what I write, and most of them are young enough that when I say it’s mostly blogging and articles/essays, they get it.
When I’m talking to other writers, they also understand that 90% of the time writing is the fast track to poverty. I tell them that I model and edit/translate, too; I do sometimes get odd questions about modeling, but it’s because most people don’t realize that there are different categories of model, and they (correctly) note that I’m about 6-7" too short to do standard fashion runway.
If I get into a conversation about grammar or languages before being asked what I do, I mention that I work as a translator/interpreter (written). That usually gets, “How many languages do you speak?” which I answer with “Define ‘speak’,” because I’ve learned that my idea of speaking something is way different than anyone else’s. If someone asks what my focus or favorite is, I’ve been known to tell them that I translate Geek to Mundane a lot, or that I specialize in interpreting puns and sarcasm. Both are true, and usually lead to either interesting conversations or a lot of bewildered looks and the other person abruptly remembering that they left the cat on at home or have to go let the oven out, and them vamoose with a quickness.
Other researchers probably figure that research eats up all your time and may not realize, if not specifically prompted, that I do also do things like eat and sleep. (Sometimes.) If you’re suited for brain-work, constitutionally, it tends to suck you in.
Randoms who inquire usually get the line, “I’m a consulting researcher.”
“‘Consulting researcher’?”
“‘Consulting detective’ was already taken.”
It’s an accurate summation of most of what I do, and anyone who gets the reference is probably someone who would appreciate hearing the details. Anyone who doesn’t usually stops right there before they can think of any weird things to ask.
snicker
Try visiting a mother in law who is a nurse … being diabetic and physically disabled triggers all her nurse reflexes.:smack:
BagelDogs will never be the same.
Recommend they watch lots of TV with the english language on audio and subtitles. A buddy of mine claims he learned english watching US cartoons.
The job title is “Earth Scientist”, which seems simple enough for most people to comprehend. When I say that I work in Angola I get blank stares. If the questioner is from Louisiana they move away rather quickly. :eek:
I thought all scientists lived on Earth. :dubious: 
Huh? On the couple of occasions I’ve reviewed books, I’ve kept them and never thought about it. I once one some silly contest run by the local book review editor and the prize was to come to his office and pick something off his shelves of books for review.
The comment I most often get is along the lines of, “Oh, math was my worst subject.” How can I respond to that? I recently crossed the border into Canada with four boxes of math books discarded by a friend that I was giving away to anyone who wanted them. The customs guy, hearing they were math books decided they were valueless. Of course, some of them were over 50 years old and, in a strictly commercial sense, were worthless.
As an instructor, I can pretty much email any publisher and say “I am looking at adopting a new underwater basketweaving text. Can you send me some?” and they’ll mail me hundred dollar books without hesitation. Most don’t even have the “not for resale” cover. Often they’ve sent two copies without asking, or another text by the same author. Once they came to me, and a rep tried to convince me to adopt non-forcefully. I truthfully said I didn’t know when I’d be teaching that subject next.
I don’t think they want me to resale them, but then nothing would be stopping me.
If you find a way, let me know. When I tell people I’m a programmer, they usually say “I’m horrible with computers.”
Years ago I was working at a place that I couldn’t get to conventionally, so I took cabs every day. There was one driver who was a bit of a wreck. Very poor personal hygiene, drove a jalopy, and I think was a little slow. One day he expressed that he hated driving a cab and wanted to do something that paid more. He asked what I did and I told him. He asked “How do you program?”
I seriously think he expected me to explain several languages to him in detail during the course of a 15 minute ride.
I too teach, and the funniest thing I’ve found is that I can’t stop them from giving me books. I tend to use the same texts each year, and every time I put them in the syllabus, they send me a new teacher’s edition, student’s edition, and workbook. Even when I specifically ask them not to. I suppose I could sell them, but after I have one copy for work and one for home, I put all subsequent copies into the school’s resource room. Hmmm…
Uh, when someone wants you to review something, it is generally accepted that they provide you with a copy. I have a couple friends that do book reviews, and they receive free copies of the books to review. Same way the Motion Picture Academy sends out DVDs of movies for the Academy members to review. That’s different than them sending swag along with it. “Here’s my book to review, and here’s a coffee mug, and an autographed mousepad, and a box of chocolate.”
I have a couple friends who review books, and they get the books free. Usually it’s those special review copy covers.
Mine too! 
“Fortunately, I’m not.”
“Well, you see, you think about what you want to do, then you have do break it down into a series of processes, and each process into a series of steps. Then you have to figure out how to write out each step in the specific syntax of the language you are using, which entails using key terms, symbols, and structure. And you have to keep the syntax straight between the various languages you know - that’ll really trip you up if you don’t. And once you get that all figured out, it’s generally a good idea to insert notes for each bit to explain what you are doing and why you are doing it that way, so someone later can more easily interpret if they need to debug or otherwise adapt the code. Simple, right? Here, you try it.”