What are the clues a person is probably a good lover?

I have never met a guy that dances well. But I have had amazing lovers that played pool awesomely. Thats one of my heads up that the guy can…oh, forget it, I’m having a sexual reverie now… :smiley:

Ladies, you haven’t lived until you’ve been triple-penetrated by one person.

If someone is ugly and absolutely does not care at all, that person is going to be awesome in bed and also, probably a good person to hang out with. But when it comes to men, I go by the twinkle in the eye that GorillaMan mentioned. I can tell someone will be if he acts like he will be but never ever says that he will be. If someone says he will be, I know he will not be. (No offense to anyone who said they would be. I know you were just kidding.)

It’s hard to say with women. I think the ugliness rule applies. I know that a suspicious number of my most attractive friends growing up were in the TMJ club. The ones that were not as pretty were usually the ones you could picture upside down making the “o” face. That is, if someone looks like she wouldn’t be caught dead doing something, she probably wouldn’t.


All four traits rolled into one?

I can do methodically and passionately clueless most thoroughly, I promise. I can provide references, even.

So, ugliness in a woman is an indication of being good in bed?

Phew! :eek: What a load off my mind!

How you doing? :smiley:

I hear what you are saying. You like men that really pay attention to you and take your desires into consideration. You feel they will help you reach sexual fulfillment when you are together, because they will be able to hear both your vocal and non-vocal signals.

So how am I doing? :cool:

All day I’ve been glossing over this thread because I kept reading it as “What are the clues a person is probably a *book[/] lover.”

Now that I’ve got it straight, I’ll have to toss my hat in with those that say good kisser = good lover. In fact I learned long ago that if someone is a bad… no, I won’t say bad, but I learned that if I don’t enjoy the way he kisses, I’m not going to enjoy anything else.

So are we talking two fingers in the nostrils and one in the ear, or two in the ears and one in the nose? Inquiring minds must know!

This might actually not be far off… IME the hot model-type chicks are really no good and I’ve quite often enjoyed myself immensely with girls with less than beauty-queen looks and build. Also, brunettes tend to be better than blondes - again, just IME.

Another good indicator is if she dances around naked for money. Strippers are just the best.

FYI I can’t dance, just … not at all. I also look and behave rather cocky and can’t play pool. Thank God most women don’t know that beforehand. :smiley:

I’ve also just started having confidence issues, how can you not when you keep getting “Your girlfriend thinks your penis is too small!” and “Enhance her pleasure with more staying power!” e-mails? Who have those people been talking to?!? :mad:

Agree about bisexuals. I just love bringing new women into the relationship. It’s also fun to sit back and watch now and then.

Thanks for the laugh. With you, not at you, of course. :wink:

I have to say the guys in this thread (js_africanus, Cervaise, Giraffe, Tentacle Monster) are cracking me up. Evidently you have the sense of humor part down…


That would explain why Mrs. Giraffe is always laughing while we’re doin’ it…

Maybe this is just me. But in my experience if a man has very large equipment, he’s likely to not be so great in bed. I guess he’s thinking, “Hey, I don’t have to do anything special, because I’m big!” And he’s, you know, wrong.

Whereas if a man is a little less well-endowed, he understands that more is required on his part than just the thrusting and the finishing. I had my best sex ever with a guy who self-consciously warned me, before taking off his clothes, that he wasn’t very large. It was true, but I wasn’t disappointed.

Yeah, but isn’t kissing itself sort of a prelude to, um, “other things”? I would consider kissing to be a peripheral sexual activity, and as such, included under the things that being good at makes a person a “good lover” anyway.
To put it another way, I’m assuming a good kisser is a good lover, because kissing is part of the act. So, how can you tell someone is BOTH a good kisser/good lover?
Maybe it’s just me, because I generally don’t kiss people (excepting quick pecks goodnight) whom I don’t plan to sleep with.

And what someone said about skill being relative is a good point. But I think there must be some kind of common frame of reference. If not, maybe we shoudl start another thread: “What makes a person a good lover?”

Lack of self-confidence (in both sexes). But it takes a few more tries than self confident people.

See when you start off you are both

a) more curious about each other bodies (therefore more responsive)

b) more eager to please the other partner

c) I can’t describe this last one. I can’t seem to find the word I’m looking for. What is it when you are more willing to look at all the small details – not methodical… but… sort of like precision, only in a relaxed way. Mmmmmmmm… nope, still can’t think of the word… but like pays attention to all the minor details and is willing to make small adjustments, and very thorough with this sort of thing… you get the picture anyway…

Now when these three factors come in to play, it’s pretty explosive. Sure, at first it takes more time to get used to… at first you are both so nervous things just don’t gel together because you are too eager to perform… however, as time goes on and you become more comfortable with each others naked bodies… these factors begin to favour you and your partner. Sex becomes what it is when it is at it’s best - an extremely intimate act between two people who are willing to share a truly magnificent experience together. A deep closeness (or at least a feeling thereof). Magic.

Why does it not surprise me that this was posted by a Tentacle Monster? :eek:

Kissing is a pretty good indication. And ditto to the sense of humour. But there are no fool proof signs, I don’t think.

What about red heads?? Have you tried any of them out?


Some times the first time isn’t something you can judge a person by. The best lovers are ones who you have been with more than once that consistantly make you happy :wink:

Why don’t you come to Luton and let me decide?

It can be, but certainly not always. At least not in my case. Man, if I fu-- er, had sex everytime I kissed someone… Well, let’s just pretend there’s a nice clean (appropriate) analogy here, eh?

I suppose technically you can’t unless you both kiss and have sex with the person, but I’ve slept with (and been disappointed in) enough bad kissers to feel confident that for me Bad Kisser = Bad Lover and I won’t continue far enough in the relationship for it to get to the sex stage.