Feeling intensely jealous of a married woman’s husband (when I was having an affair with her)
Becoming incredibly sexually aroused when I found out that my then-girlfriend had cheated on me
feeling absolutely ecstatic - like “just won the lottery” ecstatic - when I got fired from a job.
What are yours?
I have a paradoxical reaction to stress. I hate it when things are going smoothly in both my personal and professional life. I think I unintentionally cause problems sometimes because of this just to get out of it. OTOH, I calm down when the shit really hits the fan. I am the person you want around when your child is trapped in a burning building or if your corporate computer system goes down and absolutely has to be back up in 24 hours. I am seriously considering changing careers to be an ER nurse just so that I can be exposed to enough trauma to keep me calm.
I have experienced different versions of yours as well and had similar reactions.
Being absolutely furious, but relieved, to find out my high school boyfriend had cheated on me with my best friend. At least I wasn’t imagining things and he’d been abusing me on the premise I’d been sleeping around (I wasn’t).
Resenting the hell out of my son when he was first born, but feeling a visceral, violent need to protect and care for him and hunt down and kill whatever was making him cry.
There’s at least a rational explanation for this one. Your sperm wanted to compete with his sperm.
DNA makes us do weird things sometimes.
Weirdest for me was going to my favorite place in the world, with my favorite person in the world, on Christmas day – and being overwhelmed with sadness.
The orgasmic religious feeling of walking along a park, everything was perfect. The light, smell, wind, everything. And feeling that God did it for Me. (ftr, I’m no longer very religious)
The feeling the second day I was on lexapro and it started to take hold. It felt like liquid forgiveness.
The feeling holding my first child for the first time. If felt like the movement of a large amount of slow moving water. (I dunno, it’s the best way I can think of to describe it.)
I’ve had this feeling too. For years I’ve wondered why. I have a couple of theories, but not of them really seem satisfying. Do you have any explanation for yours?
Same here with the job thing. It’s a stress release and resolution.
In retrospect, having this not just from being fired once, but from quitting a couple of bad jobs, it’s the sudden release of a ton of stress, unresolvable problems and worry.
I’m worried about losing my job, about how I’ll pay my bills, about trying to keep my job, about how I can get through this bad situation, what mine or bomb I’m going to set off next at work, what mind games they’re going to play next, blah, blah, blah.
And suddenly, it’s all gone.
I am the exact same way, though I’ve learned to be aware of it and find handle it constructively. Funny enough, I am now a pre-med major. 
Well, I subscribe to the adage “That no matter how bad things are they will be worse.” I am very unhappy and severely depressed about my life situation but have an overwhelming fear that if I try to make any change at all my precarious situation will be made worse. So that is my never-ending dilemma. To live in an unbearable situation you know or an unknown condition that you believe will be even more horrible?
I tend to sometimes become absolutely furious when my parents ask me about something that I probably would have wanted to talk about anyway, sometimes even so banal as what I’m doing or what I think about some random topic.
I also have a high empathy level for embarrassment. If someone is embarrassment, or doing something embarrassment, I get embarrassed for them. I often have to stop watching The Office for that reason, and I can never watch things like school plays.
I get super pissed off if someone asks me to do something that I was already going to do anyway. I interpret it as going from a responsible person to a slave to someone else.
Ditto.
I feel the same way. There are certain kinds of embarrasment or humiliation that I simply cannot find entertaining when depicted, even though it is intended to be entertaining.
Wow. Spell check has really let me down there. How embarrassment for me!
When I found out that my husband had just had a heart attack, my visceral, pre-thought, pre-rational, non-verbal immediate reaction can be translated into English as
“Oh God, I hope I’m pregnant!”
We had three children at the time, the youngest was one. We had already happily decided we were done. There was no rational or conscious level at which I hoped to have another child, and certainly not as a widow, and yet when I thought he might die, that is what I felt.
The only way I can make sense of it is that another child would be one last little piece of him.
That was two years ago and he has recovered to an amazing degree and is probably going to outlive me with all his new and improved health habits. The desire to have another child never reasserted itself and I’ve since had a tubal ligation.
Embarrassment squick. I know it well. My parents often laughed at me when I had to leave the room as a kid when something happened on tv.
Survivor’s Guilt. I’m a mean-spirited bastard who rarely feels guilty about anything, so to feel guilty about an event that wasn’t my fault came as a major surprise.
I spent the last six months of my college relationship head over heels in love with a crazy wench I couldn’t stand. That made for some sleepless nights!!
I’d never wanted to screw someone and strangle the hell out of them at the same time before, and I hope I never do again.
:dubious:
I ran through a confused range of emotions after 9/11, and seem to have invented ones I’d never felt before and have never felt since (nor want to).
That isn’t paradoxical to me at all, and I’ve always had it. I think it’s just empathy and I think it manifests itself most often among those of us who have spent much of our lives either embarrassed or fearing embarrassment or both. I have to leave the room too – absolutely can’t stand those kinds of comedies, and it’s even worse when it’s telegraphed like five minutes in advance.
I think the most infuriating for me is iterative guilt: I feel guilty about something, then I realize my feelings of guilt are inappropriate and I feel guilty about them, and so forth. It can really fuck up an afternoon.