Or this variation (and what I came in here to post):
Two characters have a lengthy dialog. Just as one of them is about to leave, the other calls after him, “And [character’s name]? … Thanks.”
“You’ll never get away with this.”
“I’ll be back.” I know it’s a movie line, but I can’t think of a single stupid teen show where someone didn’t say that friggin line while wearing sun glasses, and it makes me want to shoot them in the face everytime.
“Make love to me.” This and line 1 are two of the most used, less realistic lines used at least ten times per episode of any soap opera you’ll ever see.
“I is here to fix the refrigerator…”
waka-chicka music
"You get the girl, and I’ll start the car/cover you/meet you around back." Standard bad guy plotting where the heroine is inevitably referred to as ‘the girl’ no matter what age.
"Let the girl go!" Standard good guy response to the above. No matter how personal a relationship they might have had previously, the heroine always become ‘the girl’ during shoot-outs.
"Go on without me!" Lamest member of the party sacrifices self for the greater good.
"We can’t just leave him!" Companion nobley protests.
"Leave him, he’s gone!" Group decision as lamest member is devoured/killed.
"So… you want to get a coffee or something?" Feeble pick up line with unfeasibly large success rate.
Any military instructions over a tannoy said twice with “Repeat…” in the middle.
"He’ll die if we don’t get him to a hospital!"
"I should have killed you when I had the chance!".
"Can’t this thing go any faster?"
Oh oh! I thought of anoher one! “Let the girl go!” is always preceded by the villian (usually holding the girl around the neck with a gun to her head) says “Drop your weapons!”
The part that kills me is, the good guys almost always do.
“It’s getting late, but I think I have time to make just one more …(ski jump) (parachute jump) (scuba dive) (drive around the race track) (test of an extremely dangerous “mad scientist” experiment )…”
You KNOW what’s going to happen next !!!
And in a related cliche:
“All we have to do is (win one more race) (rob just one more bank) …etc. … and then we won’t have to do this EVER again !!”
"I know this sounds crazy, but…"
I mean, if you know it sounds crazy, you know that the person you’re talking to will think it sounds crazy, so why the hell should they believe you? For instance, in Eight Legged Freaks, the guy calls 911 and says, “I know it sounds crazy, but our town is being attacked by giant spiders.”
"Hi, honey! I’m home."
“At least it can’t get any worse than this!”
Cue rainstorm, gunshots, girlfriend dropping by unexpectantly, etc.
You stay here, I’ll go for help.
“No time to explain!” or “I’ll explain later!”
Translation: either the screenwriter already explained everything and doesn’t want to repeat the information, or the screenwriter hasn’t explained anything and wants to create suspense.
Another good one is when the hero “just happens” to overhear a couple of background characters mention the exact information he needs to advance the plot.
Hero: If have to see Mr. Villain! People’s lives are at stake! [Ooh, that’s another good one.]
Secretary: I’m sorry, but Mr. Villain is booked up for the day. I can try to get you in next week.
Passing Background Character #1: Where’s Jones?
Passing Background Character #2: They sent him to the Base with a shipment of Giant Laser Parts.
Passing Background Character #1: And where is that Base exactly?
Passing Background Character #2: Take highway 12 north, then exit at the sign that says “Evil Base.”
Hero: [to the secretary] Never mind. I have the information I needed!
It’s been spoofed a couple of times in “South Park” already. Glad someone knows how ridiculous this one is…
Hero: [setting off on his merry way]
Guy: Hey, kid.
Hero: [stops and turns] Yeah?
Guy: Good luck/Go Get 'Em/We’re counting on you.
Hero: Thanks. [continues]
Bonus points if the guy our hero was talking to sighs, or says something like, “He’ll never make it.”
“HE’S A COP ON THE EDGE!”
Two in particular:
- “And you know it!” Said by character A to character B when they’re having an argument. Example (my fiction):
Janeway: “I’ll get us home if it’s the last thing I do.”
Chakotay: “We’ll never get home, AND YOU KNOW IT!”
2. “Let’s just say …” Said in an arch tone by character A when character B has asked a question he/she doesn’t want to answer. Example (my fiction):
Chakotay: “Do you think we’ll ever get home?”
Janeway: “LET’S JUST SAY it may take longer than we thought.”
And yes, I think Voyager was particularly guilty of both of these.
Wait! I have it! The mother of all cliches!
"I would never do anything to hurt you."
Has anyone, anywhere, ever actually used this line? I mean, it’s both ridiculously over the top and foolish. It’s a foolish thing to promise, and it’s a foolish promise to believe. So both the person saying it and the person who believes it (if they do) are both idiots.
Actually, I think I’ve got the MOAC right here:
You’ve just got to believe.
oh… my… god
“I’m getting too old for this shit.”
“I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
“Get those people out of there now!”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
"You’re crazy, you know that?’
“If you lay a hand on her I’ll kill you.”
And I once read somewhere that the most commonly used line in movies is…
“Let’s get out of here!”
The woman’s husband was murdered, her kids eaten by wolves, her parents killed in a plane crash and the cop/boyfriend/neighbor says, “Why don’t you go lay down and get some rest.”
Same scenario, but instead of a woman it is a man and the cop/girlfriend/neighbor says, “get him a glass of water.”
Gee. If that all happened to my family, the first thing I would want is a glass of water and a nap.
Here’s one that a lot of people I know just hate:
Heroine: “So, you’ve captured me and all, but I might cry out for help or something, so I brought this ball gag with me!”
Idiot Captor: “Go ahead, scream all you want … no one can hear you!”
Heroine: “Well, all right, if you insist. But now you have to tie me up so I can’t escape!”
Idiot Captor: “Don’t even THINK of trying to escape! This fortress is in the middle of a desert/jungle/parking lot filled with man-eating mercats/insanely large chickens/killer bowling balls!”