I believe you. But I’ll never understand what is in the hearts of people who stand by and do nothing while their child is being abused (mistreated, insulted, neglected) by someone else. Sure, the abuser is the one keeping a roof over their heads, but does that really outweigh the protective instinct?
Years ago, someone who was trying to come to terms with infertility started a thread, “Tell me what the benefits are of not having children.” A poster on what was then Page 1 listed a few positives: more money, more time, less stress, and finished with “All that said, children are really more than the sum of the parts- going into your 2 1/2 year old son’s room early on a Saturday morning and hearing a really excited “HI DADDY!” and instantly getting a hug makes it all worthwhile.”
Ouch. Eek. Gah. Not a few posters called him on that, but before he was Pitted and quartered, other people pointed out that when you’re a parent, that becomes a reflex. Complain about your kids, feel guilty, and soften it with “But it’s all worth it!!!” Which is pretty much what the poster said, in his apology post, “It felt like I was bitching about having kids,” and forgot that he was addressing someone who was never going to get that spontaneous hug. So yeah, that’s something non-parents can’t understand: having what you love most in life also being your biggest* source of stress.
*At times. I hope not all the time!