Inspired by the Tampons Suck thread, I believe it would behoove us Dopers to compile a master list of things that should never find their way into a vagina. So far we have the following entries:
-Tampons
-Brillo Pads
-Sharks
-Elmer’s Glue
-VHS tapes
-Trees
-Crucifixes
-Alaska
-cider
-very small rocks
-churches
-douche nozzles
-bees
-starfish
-pine cones
-scissors
-cactuses
–fire
-ninja throwing stars
-modems
-the empire state building
-telescopes
-icebergs
-Christmas trees
-Pyracanthas branches
-Pit Bulls
-CD Cases
-Larry King
I will add the following:
-laser beams
-cats in heat
-paint
-champagne bottles (large size)
-rose bushes
-alarm clocks
-Dan Rather
What can you contribute?
Although I’ll never forget the comment many years ago from a friend with a vaginal infection who said that she really, really wanted to stick her round hair brush in there to scratch!
Am I the only one who wonders why Auto specified the size of champagne bottle not to be inserted? Sorry, gonna hafta say bottle in general, no matter the size have no reason to ever enter my vagina, while I will allow tampons, as they are much better than wearing a diaper (pads).
I have never used a bottle in sex play, but I was just thinking that some people might be into it if the size was not obscenely large. A related Flight of the Conchords song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0
Swords
Brightly wrapped presents
Explosives
Rats (unless the vagina in question belongs to a lady rat, in which case, knock yourself out)
Any other variety of small furry animal, for that matter (unless the vagina in question belongs to a woman who likes short, hairy men)
Copies of the Vagina Monologues (Unless they are very creatively bound…you know there is probably a market for that…)
