What are women looking for?

All right here’s the situation, I’m a wonderfully nice guy, intelligent, fairly good-looking, funny, the whole nine yards. But for some reason I can’t get a girlfriend to save my life. Ya’ know they’ll be my friend and all, but go out with me for than a couple dates, no way in hell. Do women have some unknown sensory device that says “Hey this guy is gay?” (I’m not that I know of)? Do I have horrible BO? What is it that I am lacking? Gosh I wish I knew.

Have you asked one of these girls out?

Yes, but can you drive a nail through a 2x4 with your Lil’Kiffy? :wink:

(jeez, I hope I’m not FTT here)

I sympathize
I sympathize
I sympathize
I sympathize

You’ve described my dating life until I met my wife. I had trouble getting a second date with most women. I had a couple of girlfriends that almost lasted a year. I wondered if there was something seriously wrong with me.
Female friends and girlfriends of friends looked me over and couldn’t see any obvious problem. The said they’d go out with me if they weren’t attached. I asked if they knew any women who’d go out with me, but for some reason, they almost never did. I tried dating services and personals ads and socializing situations. No luck. nada.

I should note that I am a respectable looking guy, bot incredibly ugly or smelly or overweight, with no digusting habits besides posting on this board.

I finally met my future wife at a science fiction convention. What you need is common interests. You are looking for someone warped about the same way you are.

My wife said that she was able to look beyond the polyester pants (did I really wear that many polyester pants?)
I think that I am lacking in the ability to detect females who are interested in me. I am obviously no good at interpreting body language. My wife suggests that some of my own habits might suggest “gay” to others, but I’m not cear on which ones.

So your problems could be the ame as mine. All can suggest is to try socializing in lots of different venues – but ones that really are of interest to you. Don’t join the Buddhists in hopes of picking up chicks – they’ll see through that.

Freak Freely:
Of course I’ve asked these girls out, we get through a date, and boom the old line, “Can’t we just be friends”

Your plight does sound identically to mine with the exception that your common interest, science fiction is a lil’ out there. Me, I’m like a jock, ya’ know very common interests. Still no luck.


CalMeachem meant interests IN common–with the women. As a certified female I agree. You’ll have better luck with, say, a woman who’s really interested in sports. You don’t have to share every single interest, but it helps a woman to see beyond the first date if there are some interests you share.


I know what Cal meant as in finding common interests with the girl, I was saying his common interest of Science fiction is not very popular, so his inability to find girls with that interest is understandable. Me, my interests are very common, so it should not be that hard to find my match in interest.

If you want to find a girl, stop looking. Seriously. Take some time off from the dating scene, get yourself a fun hobby, get in tune with yourself . . . learn to be happy alone. When you master that, you’ll find someone. Never fails.

When I was dating, guys that were trying to find a girl stank of depseration to me, but the guys who had their own thing going, who were happy, confident people who weren’t out searching for their true love were the attractive ones.


Probably good advice, but I didn’t meet women any more when I wasn’t looking for them than when I was. So it’s not true that “it never fails”. The loneliness gets depressing after a while. You’re probably right about the desperation, but I think it also helps to be actively looking. When I met my wie, after all, I was TRYING to meet people.

Maybe it’s true, “Some guys get all the luck”

Borrow a puppie or a kitten. Take it to the park or the beach, youll have plenty of women around you.


That might work if he were just looking for a one-night-stand, but if he’s looking for something a bit longer lasting, truth might be the best policy. Of course, I’m not exactly the best person to ask this kind of advice from. I was hopelessly single until my SO found me. But that was mainly because I just didn’t have enough balls to make the first move.