What are you, a god damn Jehova's Witness?

To the complete a-hole who knocked on our door at 10:00 AM on Sunday, I hope you die in a fire. First, if you know us and have any business knocking on our door at all (which you don’t, see below) you know that we both work very late and that while ten o’clock may seem late to you, we are still sleeping and you damn well know it.

Second, if you know us, you have been told repeatedly not to just knock, but to call first, otherwise we are not likely to open the door, so since we weren’t expecting anyone, you have no business knocking for that reason. Notice how we didn’t open the door?

Third, because you are knocking, it is probably because you want us to do something for you, fix a computer, design a web page, etc. Well guess what, tardo, your stupid CD cover isn’t that damn important that it can’t wait until afternoon. No-one is going to buy your album anyway, so just chill out. It ISN"T urgent.

And if you are the creepy barren childless slut neighbor lady who is trying to vicariously experience motherhood through my roomies daughter, please don’t knock at any time for any reason. Ever.

Back to bed.

Well, I went back to bed and just as I fell asleep again, which is very difficult for me, and took almost two hours, Mr. Knocky McKnocklehead was back. So another two hours to get back to sleep, and I finally get the rest I need, but my whole Sunday is shot, I didn’t get anything done that needed to be done, so burn in hell you fucking knockaholic. My neighbor was out there the second time, and when I find your identity, you are in deep doo doo.

It is worse for my roommate who works 60-70 hours a week and gets home around 4:30 AM. He has to take his kid to school and get up at 6:30 AM during the week, then try to nap a little while she is in school, so thanks for wrecking HIS only chance of the week for an uninterrupted night’s sleep.

I know, you knocker, who probably does not currently hold a job, that you feel morally superior to those who rise at a different hour than you. This is very common among the “morning people”. Please, morally superior “morning person”, don’t ever go out to a nightclub or a movie theatre or a coffee house where we heathen “night people” work. You would only be subsidizing our decadent lifestyle. Better you get up at dawn and stay in church until at least two in the afternoon, so you don’t bother those of us who by necessity or choice or natural inclination don’t share your fasination with the morning dew.

For a guy named Happy Wanderer, you seem pretty pissed off about things happening to you at home. :smiley:

Put up an unambiguous Do Not Disturb sign (“This means you, Knocky McKnocklehead!!”).

That’s why I am happier when I am wandering! :smiley:

The sign idea might work but I doubt it. Everyone we know has been told repeatedly and in no uncertain terms, to call before they come. If we aren’t answering the phone, we damn sure aren’t answering the door. So whoever this was, and I am about to find out, doesn’t have the self discipline to honor our repeated requests, do you really think they would even READ the sign?

Strange. I got woken up by a door banger this morning, too. Said banger opened the storm door and dropped a church newsletter between the doors.

Why are suck people (typo, but I’m leaving it) allowed to litter on my poor, defenseless porch?

Well, at least you didn’t work a graveyard shift and come home to sleep only to find a Breast Cancer marathon scheduled to walk by your house. What’s so bad about that you ask? Well, apparently every motorist who drove by felt it necessary to show their support of breasts by honking incessantly. Not to mention all the neighborhood dogs, including my own, barking at all the chatty people and honking cars.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for supporting the cause, but c’mon people! You don’t have to honk to let everyone know you love breasts, it’s a given.

I don’t mind something that is a one-time thing, but nobody seems to understand or respect our wishes. This crap happens far too much. It’s like everybody thinks “well this applies to everyone else, but we are such good friends surely it doesn’t apply to us”. That is why I don’t think a sign would help. Everyone is too important for things to apply to them.

When Mr. S and I were both working the night shift, we used to get the marching band from the school next door practicing on the side street where our apartment building was located.

After that we lived in a rented house out in the country, surrounded on four sides by fields. So naturally we got the crop dusters buszzing our house.

I don’t miss the night shift.

“We begin our lives sucking on a breast, and if we’re lucky we end our lives sucking on a breast. Denny Crane.” – Denny Crane

Maybe stick a dummy doorbell button next to the door. Rig it to make a noise that sounds like an annoying buzzer on the other side of a wall, so they think they’re actually signalling someone inside…

Better yet, rig it to a lighted sign that flashes “Go Away!!” when you press the button.

Even better, rig it to deliver a small electric shock when pressed. Place a large sign above it warning of this, and stating that if the visitor has called ahead, the shock will be disabled and the ringer enabled.

Standard disclaimer: Don’t really do this. Someone will probably get zapped and sue you for pain and suffering. Or the person will have a pacemaker and the zap will mess up the pacemaker and the person will die. It’s probably safer to rig the button to tip a bowlful of indelible ink over the head of the visitor.

This reminds me of a thing that I did, which was totally out of character, I swear. The local newspaper (when we lived in AR) repeatedly made sales calls to our house, despite me telling them several times to take me off the list. They also came to our house to harass us. One day they woke me up ringing the doorbell. I’m not sure why I answered it, but I came to the door in a bathrobe and when the guy told me that he was from the paper, I actually yelled at him. Something along the lines of “I TOLD YOU PEOPLE TO LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!” He actually ran back to his car. Well, I did tell them to leave me alone.

“What happened when you pressed the button?”
“A little sign lit up saying ‘Please do not press that button again’.”

I’m with your OP except on this one point. Do you run a business from your home? Do you have business hours posted? If yes to the former and no to the latter, I wouldn’t consider 10am too early to ask you to take my money.

On a weekday sure, but on Sunday?

On a weekday sure, but on Sunday?

Twice on Sunday, alphboi? :slight_smile:

When the Johova Witnesses, LDS’s come a calling, I answer the door with " Ah Salama lakim" :wink: