A frying pan and some cooking oil.
Run away! Lest the calories I’ll be making and creating attack you!
Outdoor fires. I have started three forest fires in my life. The last one was last week although that one was the smallest and only covered a pansy acre.
My bigger ones were when I was growing up. I started two forest fires as a teenager. My family was even worse. We started 3 forest and grass fires on our property within one month and the fire department said they weren’t coming back for the next one.
Fortunately, these were all on our own land and they were clearing fires that accidentally got out of control.
My first year in our new house, I got 10% of the burn permits for the entire town of 13,000 so my percentages aren’t really that bad.
Anything sharp.
I always cut myself.
I’m lucky I haven’t had stitches more than I have.
Hijack…does anyone own a set of Cutco knives?
Paint. If I’m anywhere near paint of any form, there’ll be paint stains on every surface in the house and paint footprints on every floor before you know it.
My Vote.
I use it, on every possible occassion.
Politicos–BEWARE!
A little knowledge.
Ligerie.
My partner’s boudoir drawer is exploding with lacy and racy things and there is always a new piece on the way. I never get tired of seeing her in something sexy.
Glue guns. I have self-banned er…myself from them, as you would never imagine so little glue could get so many places.
Explosives. I alternate between genius and “genius.” I’ve set the desert on fire three times. We are counting the trips until I send something through the windshield of one of our trucks, parked a quarter-mile away.
Water. In a glass or bottled, I will invariably spill it somewhere, and quite possibly on someone–like you!
Hockey sticks. I’ve bruised countless shins, and I nearly blinded a classmate in grade 10 gym class. Luckily, I just cut open his cheek, instead.
Same. Only scar i’ve got was from a glue gun, though i’ve been hurt in much more serious ways.
Also, electronics. Anything with a chip can and will be destroyed (fully or partially) by me, on accident, within a suprisingly short amount of time. My computers are not well computers.
I’m like you. Only with cups of coffee. I’ve learned to accept it as inevitable.
My own finger (and toe) nails. Ow. 
If I don’t file them after trimming them (or they break), they are very sharp. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve cut myself on my own nails.
<< Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. >>
I’ve never used Super Glue and not glued something to something else unintentionally. I glued myself to my glasses one time. (tried to hold an old pair together until I could get to the opthomologist)
And I make a mean grilled cheese. But that’s the extent of my cooking abilities. My mom always makes me make her grilled cheese because mine is better than hers.
Walls. I don’t think there’s a single wall in my house or my work which I have managed to NOT walk into. I have bruises on body parts which shouldn’t ever get a bruise (like my boobs).
Anything sharp. For some strange reason, my employer has entrused me with not one but two knives - a safety knife and a carpet knife. I have cut myself on both. The carpet knife I can understand. The blade locks into place and if you slip while cutting carpet, you can actually do some pretty good damage. But, the safety knife blade retracts if you take your hand off the button. The button is nowhere near the blade. The blade is so dull it can only cut tape - and sometimes not even that. I have still managed to cut myself with it (on my cutting hand). I have no clue how I managed to hold the button down and cut myself at the same time. When my coworkers see me with a knife in my hand, the walk the other way.
Light bulbs. I simply cannot be trusted with the damned things. When I was a kid, I left the light on in my closet and closed the door, which caused a blanket to be pushed up against the hot bulb. Almost burned the house down.
I’ve managed to scorch two different comforters on my bed with my reading light–twice. Not sure exactly how that happened but it did.
And then last week I went to feed our bearded dragons, which required me to switch off the heat lamp and hang it on a hook next to the cage. Only I didn’t switch it all the way off and it fell on the floor. By the time I got back into the room, it had scorched quite a nice little circle in the living room carpet. :smack:
My own clumsiness.
In a more positive vein, hand me a dictionary and I’m absolutely lethal…
Chain saws.
I nearly killed myself once while cutting down a tree and it “fell” on me.
Of course, it was already pretty horizontal at that point, and few more feet to the ground, but still…
Cheese grater. I always manage to grate my hand on it. I’d use the Cuisinart all the time but it’s not always feasible. Now I just try to get the better half to grate the cheese, which is a task within itself.