I did something like this last week. I had written in an IRB application that one of the circumstances for terminating our study would be if my boss were “discovered to be immortally challenged.”
I forgot to delete that line before I sent it to my boss for review.
Luckily, he doesn’t actually read most things you send him!
At my old job, I was always tempted to lean over the balcony railing and try to spit my gum across the lobby and get it to stick the window.
At my new job, I’m tempted to sleep with my boss. I love my new job.
(Disclaimer: We’re both married and I know getting involved with him would be a very, very bad idea. But a girl can fantasize…)
Just this weekend, with advice and encouragement from other coworkers, I really wanted to send my boss an email outlining in great detail that a certain supervisor is behaving like a snotty 3 yr old, and giving him explicit instructions on why he should dispense with her services immediately.
I composed the email, then on reflection realised that** I **sounded like a petulant 3 yr old myself. 
The problem still remains, but I’ll just have to think of a more mature way of dealing with it…d’ya think Plan B (punching her lights out) might suffice?
Dayamn - that’s quite a perk! I wish my bosses would implement something like that.
I’m tempted to quit, but I have no alternative, so I resist temptation
I meant to quote that in my post
Writing English ad copy for clients who don’t speak English as their first language, there have been many things I’ve been tempted to put into my writing (or leave in the samples they give us to proofread).
I’m tempted to key up on all my radio frequencies, including the statewide frequency, and say in an alienish voice, “People of Earth! Remain in your homes! Don’t Panic! We are your new leaders! Follow our instructions and no harm will come to you! I repeat…”
In my projectionist days I really wanted to get a whole lot more creative than I ever had the courage to do.
Only on my last week did I begin to loosen up:
I had a sound effects CD that I started mixing in with the Muzak tape that played forever in the background when the films were not showing. It was kind of cool to watch folks in the theaters responding to a random toilet flushes or the sounds of an overloaded closet unloading its contents.
I slipped a few ancient trailers in to see if folks were paying attention (imagine sitting down for the latest action film and watching a trailer for “Rambo - First Blood Part II, Coming May 1985”)
I really wish I had done more of that kind of stuff. Oh well, a week is better than nothing.
Too bad this one didn’t come accross the IRB I sit on…
Temptation? Blow off class- when the students arrive just let them go, or rent a stupid movie for lecture and lab.
It would be more for me than them… it’s a commuter campus and they get annoyed if they come in for nothing…
Can I ask what you do that you could pull that off??? All I can say is, cool, and let us know before hand!
I work as a developer. I listen to my iPod when I am working. I frequently want to get up and dance.
I am currently working on my performance evaluation for the year. I soooooooooooo want to put in “Did stuff.” as my work description.
Susan
Cry…and it’s looking like it’s going to be one of those days where I give in. At least I go do it in the restroom instead of right at my desk.
After working at my mother’s restaurant for 7 years and being treated like crap, I finally gave in and stood up to a customer on my last day.
Background: this guys always came in, demanded so much attention, complained about the food, tipped HORRIBLY, then demanded some mints that we saved only for our nice regulars (we used to give them to everyone, but after a while, we got tired of giving them to assholes so we started to give them only to our nice customers).
The last time I saw him before my last day, he ate one of the dishes and after the fact, asked if it had MSG in it. I told him that it did and that it states in our menu that some of our dishes may contain MSG, peanuts, etc. so if you don’t want that, ask to leave it out when ordering. He started saying loudly “OH MY GOD! MSG!? MSG IS POISON! HOW CAN YOU POISON YOUR CUSTOMERS!? OH I HAVE A HEADACHE. GIVE ME SOME WATER SO I CAN WASH THIS POISON OUT OF MY MOUTH. AND WHERE IS MY MINT!?” Everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at us and gave me weird looks for the rest of the night.
I basically apologized and told him that if he did not want MSG in his meal, that he should have asked for it to be left out. It was clearly written in the menu and that he had already finished the entire meal without letting me know.
Fast forward: he comes in on my last night. By this time the new owner had taken over and we were finishing training the new waiters. He ends his meal with his blind friend who is also a regular. He then sends his blind friend to go to the front counter to ask for the mints. I told the blind guy that the new owner doesn’t give out mints. By this time the jerk came up and asked “so where are our mints?” I told him that the mints have gone the way of the MSG because we don’t want to POISON our customers as well as make them fat and angry evil glare at the mean customer.
I guess he was surprised that I actually said my mind and muttered “oh yes, yes of course, mints are horrible things. Bad for you they are. Yes, just like MSG, poison, yes yes.”
It felt so damn good to get my own back. And it only took 7 years and my quitting to do it!
HE SENT THE BLIND GUY TO GO GET THE MINTS?!?!? :mad: :rolleyes: :mad:
And the blind guy talked like a cross between Jar-Jar Binks and Yoda? :smack:
I KNOW! They were both sitting near the front counter so I overheard the jerk ask the blind guy to go see about their mints. And the blind guy actually got up! He then walked near the counter and turned to ask the guy if he was near any waiters. WTF!? :mad:
Oh it wasn’t the blind guy who said that. It was the mean customer. I guess he was a bit flustered to be reminded that he had screamed that our food was poison, so he was muttering.
Man, I can’t believe people like this exist!
I want to hop in one of the 40 ton off-road haulers with 6 foot tires on it and run over every car in the parking lot. I’ve been resisting the urge for 10 years, but my resolve is fading…
We’ve got these interoffice mailer manila envelopes. To send anything interoffice, you grab one of the used ones off the pile, draw a line through the name of the last person that envelope got delivered to, and add the name of the new recipient.
Some slow day I’m going to send one of those mailers on a fictitious routing journey, trying to see how plausible yet outrageous I can get the routing list to read - and see if anyone notices.
Haha, this reminds me of something a friend of mine did. She had all these flies in her office and they were driving her crazy. She kept calling maintenance to do something about it, and they just ignored her. One day, she collected all the dead flies on her windowsill and mailed them to maintenance through the interoffice mail.
They were a little more receptive to her after that.
Are you serious? You might just work for the best damn bookstore EVER! I don’t think I could hold to just one ‘fuck off’ if I got started though.
I am going to write all the rental adverts in the Julian Blending style.
In fact, I already started to do so last week.
I save them in a special file. Then I edit all the humour out and post them.
Sigh.