as we have a thread on what are your favorite Anime cliches what are your favourite porn cliches ?
a few I reckon are :
when a guy is having sex with his girlfriend’s best friend
and then his girl friend walks in she isn’t mad or is for a minute or two and decides to join in
the women constantly need to be reminded to suck it while felating their partner already
cumming over a womans ass is a satisfactory conclusion for both partners
sex is over as soon as the guy cums
foreplay consists of a few kisses a few licks on the breasts
and about 10 seconds of cunnilingus
Also-my personal favorite-apparently all women pack an emergency dildo and can just whip it out of their purse
on a moment’s notice.
Oh-wait-another favorite- all chicks are lesbos if left in
a room by themselves.
(Oh-geez-I didnt ruin it for any guys out there who are hoping this one is for real?)
Never mind.
All chicks are lesbos, boys!
“Who is it?”
“It’s the chimney sweeper, I’ve come to clean your tubing.”
“Well in that case…” opens door
“Hey, you’re not the chimney sweeper. You’re the Land ShAHHHHHHH!!!”
…from a video titled “Jacuzzi Floozies” which strangely enough, contained no jacuzzis, but plenty of floozies.
The first, and longest scenario contained two lesbian twin looking roommate reporters lamenting that the dildo factory burned down. Since they’re dirty from the fire, they take a shower and \ding/dong/ there’s the doorbell and Ron Jeremy, the TV repairman!
I also enjoyed viewing “Let Me Tell You 'Bout White Chicks” produced by Dark Brothers which had an explanatory rap. Some guys drinking 40 ounzers and talking about sex–way out there huh? Trying to convince a younger, less experienced friend that white woman are the sweetest meat they spin their stories, almost all of which begin with “Yo I was casin’ dis place for which to break into it and what do I see but…” so a big guy comes in through your window while you’re masturbating with a huge dildo and when he tells you, “Baby, lemme show you how to do dis,” you just lay back and sigh? Um, okay. Disclaimer: I suppose I should feel guilty because of all the stereotypes but…eh, it’s a porn and obviously meant in fun by those who made it. It kind of reminded me of “Bamboozled.”
Also, if you get a chance to view “South by SouthEast” I highly reccommend it. This movie pretty much has all the cliches; at one point two characters start having sex and the woman says, “why are we having sex?” and the guy replies something like, “what? It’s been almost five minutes since the last sex scene and we’re scripted for at least ten more before the movie ends. We don’t want this thing to go on forever!” Also, the dildo interrogation/“torture” scene is very funny.
If I ever become a professor I’m going to teach a class called “Archetypes in Pornography” except I’ll tinker with those nouns to make it sound much smarter and duller.
My personal favorite is when the chick says “well I don’t know; I don’t normaly do that sort of thing” Then five secs later it shows her jacking two guys off while getting it up the ass from another. :rolleyes:
