What are your litmus tests for screening or ending dates?

[Shagnasty]

@malkavia

I don’t know how to answer that. Everyone in my social circle behaves the same way and it’s honestly not an issue.

Different strokes and all that, I suppose.

You are seriously limiting your potential social circle then. That is extremely rude and crass behavior. What did you do before cell phones were invented? I doubt that I could make it past the appetizer for a transgression like that whether it be friends, family, or potential suitors. If you go someplace with someone, you are supposed to concentrate on them and the activity at hand. I have two daughters and they come first but can’t you put in special ringtones for just them? If yours doesn’t do that, you should get one that does so that you don’t have to keep looking at it.

[DianaG]

So in other words, she should change her cell phone/plan for *your *convenience? :dubious:

I certainly would never carry on a cell phone conversation on a date (or out with friends, or in any other social situation), but I’m gonna check my phone every once in a while. If we’re on a first date, I’m gonna need you to realize that you’re not really the most important person in my life.

[Creaky]

Well I am not in the dating thing right now, but I am trying to think of stuff that might come up after an initial meeting with a person who seems charming and date-able and with whom you have made future plans to go out.

1. Illegal drug use

2. Arrest record or allusions to commission of felony offences (Yes, some people like to brag about that crap.)

3. Political, social and/or fiscal liberal

4. Anti-drinking

5. Doesn’t get along with their immediate family

[malkavia]

@Shagnasty

You are seriously limiting your potential social circle then. That is extremely rude and crass behavior. What did you do before cell phones were invented? I doubt that I could make it past the appetizer for a transgression like that whether it be friends, family, or potential suitors. If you go someplace with someone, you are supposed to concentrate on them and the activity at hand. I have two daughters and they come first but can’t you put in special ringtones for just them? If yours doesn’t do that, you should get one that does so that you don’t have to keep looking at it.

I’m thinking the job/kid/house hunting/boyfriend thing probably limits my potential social circle a hell of a lot more than my tendancy to glance at my phone.

I do have a special ringtone for the kid, but I usually put my phone on vibrate if I’m out to dinner. If you think mildly glancing at ones phone is rude, imagine if your dates pants started screaming, “THE KOMBUCHA MUSHROOM PEOPLE SITTING AROUND ALL DAY!” mid-conversation. :eek:

The horrors!

[jjimm]

1. Doesn’t smoke.
2. Not enough piercings.
3. Doesn’t take drugs.
4. Sober.
5. Tattoos not visible enough.

[Creaky]

@jjimm

1. Doesn’t smoke.
2. Not enough piercings.
3. Doesn’t take drugs.
4. Sober.
5. Tattoos not visible enough.

See, you’re the kind of dude at a bar that would totally crack me up and that I would find interesting from afar. I think that you’d be the guy doing Boilermakers and quoting Tarantino movies and Bukowski and singing the “Scooby Doo” show theme song. Awesome! Seriously, I really enjoy artsy character types, but just not to go out with.

[Khadaji]

@Creaky

Well I am not in the dating thing right now, but I am trying to think of stuff that might come up after an initial meeting with a person who seems charming and date-able and with whom you have made future plans to go out.

1. Illegal drug use

2. Arrest record or allusions to commission of felony offences (Yes, some people like to brag about that crap.)

3. Political, social and/or fiscal liberal

4. Anti-drinking

5. Doesn’t get along with their immediate family

Damn! I was good on 4 out of 5!

[jjimm]

@Creaky

See, you’re the kind of dude at a bar that would totally crack me up and that I would find interesting from afar. I think that you’d be the guy doing Boilermakers and quoting Tarantino movies and Bukowski and singing the “Scooby Doo” show theme song. Awesome! Seriously, I really enjoy artsy character types, but just not to go out with.

Actually, my last serious girlfriend fitted all of the criteria I listed above. She was a bit of a handful, alas.

[Creaky]

@jjimm

Actually, my last serious girlfriend fitted all of the criteria I listed above. She was a bit of a handful, alas.

Yeah, that’s the thing about the cool crazy chicks. Great fun, great sex, but maybe some drama that complicates things.

And Khadaji, I won’t guess at which of those criteria you don’t fit!! But it is important to me that people get along with their families!

[Auntbeast]

I was pretty flexible, but a huge red flag to me when meeting someone whether as a dating prospect or not, is if every relationship they ever had ended badly or if every ex had something pathologically wrong with them.

I’ve had one bad break up in my life. And I’ve had a lot of breakups. Just because someone isn’t right for you doesn’t mean they have to be all kinds of messed up. And really, it says more about you and the choices you make, than it does about them.

I know someone that has either moved and/or changed her phone numbers after every, single, relationship ended. Oh yeah, they were all crazy too. Uh huh.

This thread is reminding me what is nice about being married.

[tdn]

@Auntbeast

I was pretty flexible, but a huge red flag to me when meeting someone whether as a dating prospect or not, is if every relationship they ever had ended badly or if every ex had something pathologically wrong with them.

Yep. That’s why I make it a point to respect everyone I every broke up with and hold a few things sacred. Leave women better than you found them.

If a new woman in my life is really bitter about her past relationships, she’s not the new woman in my life.

[overlyverbose]

I’m not dating now, but the following have made me call it a night early:

1. Offering of drugs
2. Proposals of marriage
3. Smoking when the man had previously indicated he was not a smoker
4. Running into his old gf at the restaurant and hearing her snicker, “You think he’ll whip it out now or wait 'til dessert?” (OK, it wasn’t the gf’s comment necessarily that turned me off, though it did raise some flags. It turned out to be pretty prophetic - he couldn’t quite make it through the meal.)