What Cabinet member do you want to be?

A close friend is elected President of the United States. In a blatant act of wild nepotism, they come to you and offer you a Cabinet position, whichever one you want, qualification be damned, and let’s just call it a magical guarantee of Senate approval (or he’s got dirt on every single Senator or whatever). You want the job, it’s yours.

Which seat do you want?

Sec Labor.

Secretary of State. 4th in line for the Presidency.

Plus, travel. And, it’s seldom your fault when things go South.

SecDef, most powerful of them, IMHO.


I’d like to strengthen OSHA, create new jobs, find ways to get unemployed people working again. Especially help people that lost jobs to overseas competition.

I voted Attorney General, but I’d actually rather be the (non-Cabinet-seated) Solicitor General.

If I had to choose, I’d go with Housing & Urban Development, if only because that’s most likely where I could do the least amount of damage, either by doing absolutely nothing, or conversely, doing… something.

But really, I’d probably decline and ask, as long as we’re throwing appointments around, if there was some other cushy position with zero pressure and little to no mass public exposure, like ambassador to the Bahamas.

Give me a stylin’ wig and I’ll take over when Ernie is finished.

I can’t vote on my phone, but I’d pick Secretary of Homeland Security so I could change that stupid name. Who the hell used the term “Homeland” before the DHS was created? I just hate that name.

Also I used to do disaster relief as a job, and I’d like to run FEMA. I’d do a heckuva job.

SecDef - I want to rattle some sabers!

I picked Interior, but I’d really want the Supreme Court nomination.

Veterans Affairs. I’m pretty good with computers and databases, I would show everyone how to use those tools.

That is, if there isn’t a Secretary Of Puppies And Kitties by the time I’m asked to serve…

Which position has the highest take-home pay?

I figure I’m not qualified for any of them, I might as well be paid well.

I think they’re all the same–a touch over $200k.

I changed my mind. That vote wasn’t binding, was it?

Too much responsibility for any of 'em. But I voted to hang out at the White House anyway — I’ve always wanted to check out that bowling alley.

As SecDef I’d chop military spending by rather healthy percentages, which would promptly get me fired. So let’s go for HomeSec. That way I can kill most of the security theater and concentrate on the real danger areas. After first firing 90% of the bozos that work for me.

Health and Human Services.

I’ve got some changes I want to make to required coverage under the PPACA.

I’ll take State. Why settle for second (…ok…fifth)?

And I’m well qualified; I already know how to build and maintain my own email server.

Why would I want any of those positions? But I still want to hang out at the WH.