What commercials say to you

Sadly, this is the actual concept behind about 95% of all advertising.

The newest one that irritates me is for Stove Top stuffing: “I’ve waited 364 days for this!”
Because you can’t go buy a box any other day of the year?

And we’re almost – but not quite – as good as just using nothing!

Your right, there are certainly NO commercials or advertisements ever, anywhere, that sexualize women, degrade them, or show them off as a prize that is won by using the product being advertised. Only men have to endure this horrible burden places up on us.

When will society learn that us men aren’t just objects for them to lust and gawk at. Amirite, my fellow MRAs? :rolleyes:

Just saw a similar claim on a package of toilet paper – “No other leading brand is softer or more absorbent!”

Tranlation - “We’re all pretty much the same.”

The “nothing is better” ploy is part of the FTC rules: If you say, “we’re better” or “we’re the best!,” you need to prove it.* But if you say “nothing is better,” you’re not claiming you’re better.

It’s also why advertisers love the word “virtually,” which means “not really.”

*One exception: “Bring out the Hellmanns and bring out the Best!” Hellmanns markets their mayonnaise as “Best Foods” on the west coast. Thus, they can say it’s the Best, since it’s the same as Best Foods.

Or the ads that say “This is as good as it gets (I think it was for a beer, with guys sitting around a campfire, drinking)” Translation: it’s all downhill from here.

And “The best part of waking up is Folger’s in your cup.” Translation: Everything in your day-to-day life is so shitty that your morning coffee is the only thing you have left to look forward to.

“Bring out the Hellmanns and bring out the Best!”

Translation: You’re gonna need two jars of mayonnaise.

“11 Hours? That’s longer than I smoke my meat.”
Translation: BBQ competitor thinks Arby’s has wasted their time.
Whatever cell phone plan or automobile you currently have will not be enough to please your entitled whiny insolent spawn.

Scrap metal place that boasts “We’ll pay you in $2 bills!”

Translation: You’re giving me dick for tons of iron.

90% of commercials - “Our product appeals to idiots. Buy it!”


It surprised me too. But I took it to mean, “We have an image problem.” Which surprised me. I thought it had a good reputation but those who drink nothing but Coors Light think its too fancy or dark.

It doesn’t get any better than this.

For some reason a Mother Goose and Grimm strip from that time always stuck with me. Grimm is looking up from drinking out of a toilet and says “It doesn’t get any better than this.”

Sam Adams is one of those east coast librul commie pinko beers!

We’re Beatrice


Actually, if I travelled 2,000 miles to get back home for Thanksgiving, I’d be a litle peeved that my Mom was either too cheap or too lazy to serve me something better than STOVE TOP stuffing!

“Tell you what, Ma, next year just serve us Swanson turkey dinners.”

Here’s the ad:

So a baseball breaks your window and you use your insurance policy with State Farm to somehow parlay that into a new hot tub.

Translation: State Farm - We let you get away with insurance fraud.

Nationwide commercial - has the ninja girl following the robbers around, replacing all the stolen stuff with new and improved versions (tube to flat tv, etc).

Encouraging insurance fraud.

It’s not insurance fraud if the policy is that they replace your old stuff with new improved versions

which policy the commercial is advertising

If you encourage the theft to get the new stuff - which is implied since the ninja could have stopped the crime as it happened - then its insurance fraud.