You know, it’s a wonder our species ever manages to reproduce. The post I’m responding to is right on the money.
I never understood this stuff until my daughters reached dating age, which was a few decades to late to help me. Then the exact same words by a boy was either welcome or laughable, depending on how they felt about him.
Consider the guy’s perspective. He’s been told that flirting is okay, but only with people you know, and flirting with someone you don’t know is hitting on. Which is creepy. Unless of course it is welcome - in which case if the guy doesn’t do it, for fear of being considered creepy, he is wimpish.
I actually did get hit on by women I wasn’t interested in, maybe twice a decade, and never considered it creepy, but rather ego boosting. Maybe if it happened every day it would be different, but listening to the Beatles version of Everybody Wants to be my Baby makes me think not.
Now I did get hit on once when I was married, by someone I knew, and that was creepy. But I consider flirting while married creepy too, and if I did it it wouldn’t be in preparation for anything but a cold shoulder (and vice versa.)
Not that I don’t agree that some of the actions mentioned in this thread are creepy, but the toggling between “I’m glad you asked” to “you’re a creep” based on internal states that no one can possibly know drives men nuts (and not with passion.)
The post about how subjective hitting on someone is basically was on the money. It’s really a crap shoot. If she likes you, etc…it’s all good, if she doesn’t…it’s all annoying and makes you look like a loser.
This is too funny. This is, almost word for word, how I was planning to respond to someone.
My general dating policy is that no one gets my weekends until she’s earned them. Meet up for coffee or wine on a Wednesday after work? That’s a good first or second date. Something fun or special on a weekend? Nope. MAYBE coffee or brunch early on a Sunday, but no one gets anything fancy on a weekend night.
That’s my policy for “normal” women. But the chick in question is not normal. There’s something going on here. Something good. Something potentially fantastic.
For a second date, I offered to take her on a picnic. That would take an amount of effort on my part that I’m not normally willing to give a “normal” woman on a second date. But I could really picture us lying (laying?) on a blanket, holding hands, and talking about interesting cloud formations.
She counter-offered going out on Saturday night for live music and dancing. “Do you dance?”, she asked. I’m not quite sure how to respond. Several comfort zones are being violated here. But, at some point, I want to be taken out of those comfort zones. Maybe by her. I need to put some thought into this.
It was interesting, her ideas on how a man should be very closely matched mine. I sometimes think that Hispanic women are far more in touch with sexuality than other women are. She also talked about how women who wear glasses are far sexier than women who don’t. She pointed to her own plastic-rimmed glasses as an example. Hey, it worked for me.
Hmm. Not my style, really. But I do own one, and I think it looks pretty good on me.
So you don’t actually ballroom dance, but you’re willing to learn for this woman.
<jealous, jealous, jealous>
A picnic sounds nice. I hope the weather is good.
I can’t help but notice that I have been flirting with someone who is about to be taken (that seems obvious). Dammit—why are all the nice guys taken? <need pouty smiley here> And weren’t you the guy last year who was wondering how to meet people? I seem to remember a thread about that. Well done!
<sigh>
PS- I don’t think that Hispanic women are more in touch with their sexuality than other women, I think they are more open about it.
I’m not learning for her, I made the decision to go before I even met her. We’ve only gone out once, but I think there’s something pretty amazing going on there. I’m going out with someone else tonight, and I think that she’s pretty cool too. And then there’s Liz, and Kathleen, and…
What’s up with all these women that either live with their parents or kids? Don’t single women live alone anymore?
Well, the state tends to frown on kids living alone and all. As for the parents–no idea. I couldn’t wait to move out and I’ll go on welfare before I’d move back in…
Ok, I get it–you’re surrounded by hot chicks who want you. I’ll be over here, eating worms.
I don’t live in eastern MA, but I do come to the Cape every summer (parents summer there with a house and everything). I might be able to stop in the Berkshires for a bit…
Falmouth. My dad used to do research in Woods Hole and we would rent a cottage. My parents bought a house there in the late 1980s and we’ve used it ever since.
It’s a bit of a commute from Chicago, but worth it. Daughter (mine) is going to BU in the fall! My uncle lives in Petersham. Oh, christ–your name’s not Jim, is it?
<creeped out thoughts of having flirted with my uncle flashing in my head now>
yes–sometime in June (she’s not sure of the dates for orientation) and sometime in August (she’s not sure of the dates to move in the dorms)*. In August, we will be using the Cape house as a base and raiding various Targets etc there for dorm stuff rather than paying to ship the stuff or haul it ourselves.
I’d say let’s get together, but you seem to be occupied dating other women. I don’t prey on staked out manflesh…
*we ARE sure she got in. They took our money and everything (just about).
But this would be a private, personal Dopefest, not a free for all who want to show up Dopefest, no?
I highly doubt I’ll have time away from the orientation anyway, plus there is the fact that I am married (at least for now) and traveling with my daughter–who would have made an excellent duenna. She is so strict!
Maybe we can meet on the common and take a swan boat ride.
It’s been years since I’ve done the swan boats. I can totally picture us doing that together.
I’m not sure where my dating life will be at that time. And I don’t really care. You’ll be in town, I’ll be in town (unless it’s a few days before or after the 14th), we can meet up for whatever. It can be a Dopefest for two, or a Dopefest for many. Bring your daughter along, or leave her behind. Treat it as a romance, or treat it as a friendship.
Gah. Now you’re being nice to me–I don’t know what to do with nice men. I know how to deal with cold, distant men who treat me like shit-I tend to fall for those… :rolleyes:
Ok-once I get the dates for Boston, I will PM you. We’re on for one swan boat ride on the Common. <pinkie swears>
Make a girl’s day whydon’tcha?!
