Thing #1 - I decide to be nice and help my wife out by making brownies for her (for a party she has to bring a couple of things to.) She said I could just put in cocoa instead of going to all the trouble of melting chocolate. So, silly me, I never even look at that step which also includes the butter portion of our show. Instead of brownies, I end up with chocolate mush completely surrounded by a hard outer shell. Mmm-mm good.
Thing #2 - I’m in the shower. There I am all wet and naked (down ladies, please, I am only 1 man.) Time for shampoo. I’m a little tired, so I unthinkingly reach for the shampoo when, after the lathering, it sort of hits me that it smells a little differently than normal. I finally look at it to realize that my head is now covered in dog shampoo. As a bonus, I shouldn’t have to worry abut fleas or ticks for a while, my coat is awfully lustrous, but now I have this desire to eat all of my food out of a bowl on the floor.
The last few tatters of my pride and dignity, I wrote an e-mail to my ex today. I think I’ve been stripped of any deceny I still had. Though doing the Time Warp on stage in PJs started the process.
This didn’t happen today, but it was my most recent signifigant screw-up. I was in my bank last week depositing my check from the almighty Ford Motor Company (which I got because the dealership I work for won some kind of contest; I really did nothing to deserve the money, which amounted to $250. Please bear with me, as I’m still recovering from the euphoria). Somehow I botched up the deposit slip royally, confusing the (very attractive) teller so much that she broke out a new one and filled it out for me, talking all the while in a manner that could be described as “flirtatious.” I was smitten immediately, and although I left the bank with a warm goodbye when my transaction was complete, I’m currently searching for an excuse to go back to the bank and see her again.
How hard could it be to screw up again, this time intentionally? I have full confidence in myself in this matter…after all I do pretty well by accident.
I made ranch dressing today. Or rather, ranch pudding.
I was making it from a powder where you have to add 1 cup of mayo and 1 cup of milk. I added one cup of sour cream instead, thinking of another recipe entirely.
I couldn’t figure out why the dressing was sticking to the spoon. Then it dawned on me.
In the end it didn’t taste too bad, but it ticked me off none the less.
I broke the screen door. I hate spiders…and i was in pursuit of a jumping spider. Needless to say…the shoe in my hand it the screen door instead of the spider.
