What do people like me do with themselves?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m sitting here in Paris at my computer trying to buckle down and write a paper, my fourth in the last week, and perpare for two weeks of exams, in French, on various ideas of philosophy.

But, I can’t concentrate because, every time I write a sentence, I think, “Oh that’s interesting, I’ll just take a quick look.” I go to Wikipedia, look it up, I get linked to something even more interesting and far more obscure that I had no idea existed (There’s people in Kashmir who believe Jesus didn’t die on the cross, rather survived came to Kashmir and is burried there?). So, since I don’t believe that Wikipedia should only be a starting point, I go looking for essays and such.

This goes on for hours, and here I am still trying to start my paper, that was due this past thursday, but I’m going to turn it in at the exam, which I haven’t started studying for.

Now, that said. I’m not at all a slacker. My teachers often like me because they know that I genuinely want to learn. My teachers in a private, catholic High School used to actually stand up for my right to sleep in class because I went beyond the call of duty, so to speak, with my assignments, while many other kids just did what they had to do (this caused some problems with my friends). I’ve been spoiled by teachers letting me turn things in late, because they were happy I was interested.

Now, that’s not to say I was/am a genius. I’ve still got a lot to learn, but the point is all I want to do is learn. When I came to France to study French, everyone asked me my reason (because everyone else had jobs that required it, for the most part), but I didn’t have one other than I met people when I traveled in Ireland that spoke several languages and I was facinated that they could do it, so I wanted in.

Now, I came back to Paris after I graduated to be with my girlfriend (whom I met when I studied the first time in France). I decided to study Philosophy as a way to get a visa, because it had recently become and interest of mine (considering it involves about every aspect of human knowledge/life).

All I want to do with the rest of my life is travel, experience things, learn, and write about it. So I’ve thought of journalism, but I don’t want to talk about who we’re going to bomb next or what who said to whom. I want to write about the things that seem to transcend all that. The big picture stuff. Life.

I know that seems so sappy, but I mean it.

My first year in college, I changed my major four times. In the process I went to our multi-million Michelin Career Center, that was supposed to be almost clairvoyant about being able to solve people’s career problems. I took some tests, and when I came back to speak with the counselor about the analysis, she looked at me and laughed. I asked her why, and she said, “We were just talking about you in the kitchen. I showed your test results to everyone, and we don’t know what to tell you. We’ve never seen anyone without a definable interest in a certain feild.”

Shit…

So I majored in English. Now philosophy, and seeing as it’s the “Year of the Study Abroad” according to the US government and Georgie just made a speech about kids learning foreign langauges, I want to go to Taiwan to learn Chinese (my girlfriend’s from Taiwan).

Did anyone else have these kind of problems when they were young? What do people like me do?

I ask this, because I’m sitting here, thinking my French isn’t good enough to take my exams, but I’m here so I gotta do it. I’m running out of money quickly, and I’ve got no idea what I could do to make some money. I used to play music in bars around town when I was in college, but that’s not so easy in Paris. I don’t have a band.

I mean, I’m supposed to be writing about Locke and Hobbes and current American politics, but I keep looking up articles on globalization, religion in Sweden, and open-sourcing. I’ll probably write three long articles about something to do with subjects before I write my paper. Then I’ll be really pissed at myself for not doing what I’m supposed to do, without acknowledging the fact that what I’m doing is worthwhile (maybe more so than studying philosophy).

I’m sure there has to be someone like me on the SDMB.

2

IANAPsychiatrist, but I betcha you are hyperactive. (Check it on Wikipedia!) Intelligent? Risk-taking? Unable to focus, or able to super-focus at times? Hyperactivity. Welcome to the club.

In the short-term, increase your morning exercise, it helps a lot. Type your darn paper without internet access.

(How is the weather in Paris today? I have never been there in Winter.)

3

You nailed it on the head. I am, but I’m glad I am.

I do need to type my paper without internet access, but unfortunately I don’t have the texts, so I have to use the internet to take examples from the texts.

I usually go to the library at the Pompidou to work, since I won’t be as distracted, but it’s not possible today (the weekend’s are just too packed).

The weather is gray and cold. It seems that the weather in Paris from october to april is gray. Not usually raining, just crappy gray.

I do need to get more excercise as well…My girlfriend and I went running for the first time in a long time last night (sort of a new year’s resolution thing), so I hope that sticks.

Okay…going to work…work work work…

4

Wanted to mention that I never have trouble focusing on things that interest me. That’s the problem. Once I can find why I’m interested, I’m hooked.

5

Hang in there, keep doing what interests you. Take bizarre jobs even though you don’t know what they lead to (this is sort of necessary for the food and shelter aspect, eventually) but don’t take boring jobs unless you have to.

I have “damned with faint praise” report cards from school somewhere all about how I excell at anything I’m interested in (subtext, I honestly suck at working on stuff that bores me. Go figure.) As I got older, and I’m still only pushing 30, I started getting better at focussing on stuff that I needed to do but wasn’t necessarily my number one obsession of the moment. Getting old, slowing down?

Pay attention to how amazing your life is. Right now you get to not go study at the library at the Pompidou in Paris because it’s too grey out. Spend a moment thinking about how great that is that you have the luxury of that. Just revel in it. It’s plain awesome. Who knows what’s ahead? But you already seem to have a grip on how to live life in an interesting way.

Go to Taiwan next if you can swing it. Your narrative is going to be totally fascinating. And you will have life experience under your belt for writing the big picture stuff. This matters!

Don’t let anyone try and fit you into a different box. The only problem (and I am sympathetic that you see not having a great future plan as a problem, I just don’t see it that way) I really see right now is you have trouble focussing to study, but you seem to be able to get enough done to get through, especially if you can get out to the library. So tackle that problem, but the rest? If you truly only want to spend your life traveling, experiencing things and writing, then the lack of a clear path to a career really isn’t a problem. If that’s truly your priority, not material gain - because sure the two do not exactly go hand in hand - but if it is, then you will do it. Because you won’t be able to not do it. Just don’t settle for less than what you really want.

6

I think a more accurate clinical diagnosis is Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.
Current symptoms of an adult with ADD may include several of the following:

Distractibility
Disorganization
Forgetfulness
Procrastination
Chronic lateness
Chronic boredom
Anxiety
Depression
Low self-esteem
Mood swing
Employment problems
Restlessness
Substance abuse or addictions
Relationship problems

This condition can be effectively treated. Some professionals may suggest psychotropic medication. Others may lean more toward regular exercise, better nutrition, meditation and properly structuring your work environment. Idlewild has an interesting approach, but I would recommend seeing a specialist who has a regular caseload of AADD patients and who clicks with you. Don’t waste your best years spinning your wheels, hoping against hope for traction.
http://www.ncpamd.com/ADD_College.htm
http://www.ncpamd.com/Adult_ADD.htm

7

As far as employment, you could stay in academics. Your interests seem to suggest graduate study in English, history, philosophy, or maybe anthropology. All of those could include the kind of “big picture stuff” you’re talking about. It sounds to me like you’ve got the tireless thirst for knowledge that could get you a Ph.D. (I don’t think I’ve “got it,” so I’ve recently all but abandoned my hopes of being called “Doctor.”)

And think about a job in research, academic or non-academic. It’s all about asking interesting questions that nobody’s thought of before. You seem to enjoy looking things up and learning about all kinds of stuff. If you can get “really into” whatever it is you’re studying, then maybe research is right for you. Of course, you may have to work on your focus, but your willingness to think “outside the box” on whatever you’re doing (e.g. shooting off into only quasi-related areas) could make for really amazing new directions in your research.

Lastly, if you’re in school, there should be some good resources for students with ADD or similar learning difficulties. (Ack, I hate calling it a “learning disability,” but I’m not sure what else to call it.) Look into counseling services or whatever your school calls it; you may find support groups, management ideas, etc. Good luck!

8

I can’t speak to the possible ADD/hyperactivity stuff, but I can tell you that when I went for college counselling on What Should I Do With The Rest Of My Life–I was told the exact same thing.

I was told I could do anything and most likely succeed–I am a generalist. Oh, I knew from my scores and frustrations that engineering etc were out (poor math skills) but other than that–it was wide open.

Needless to say, this is not what an 18 year old wants to hear. Because it is so meaningless. There is such a thing as too many choices (at least there is for me).

Like you, I have both quixotic and catholic tastes–I am supposed to be studying for the GRE, but here I am…trawling (not the same as trolling-heh) the SDMB and literally wasting time. But it’s NOT a waste to me, because I learn stuff here…

I will tell you this: don’t go into anything to please another person. It won’t work and will make you miserable. That is why I am going back to grad school (if I get in) and changing careers at 43.

9

Sometimes when I have to focus on something …ooo!

10

What do people like me do with themselves?

Asking a question like that is bound to get an answer you didn’t expect!

11

I recognize that ADD is a legitimate disorder, but honestly–these traits are present in almost everyone. Doesn’t one have to have at least say, 5 and in an extreme degree?

I had every one of them today, except for the substance abuse and the employment problems!

12

I’m old and retired now, but I’m like you: an information junkie. The latest thing was anything about Roman roads e.g. how they were built, how many have survived. Before that it was Roman aqueducts. Before that anything about Elizabeth Queen of Scots. I’ll become interested in something and focus on it for a while, finding out everything I can. And the internet is anathema to information junkies because, as you said, you start at point A and hours and hours later you “awaken” to find it’s 6am. And you spend far too much money on used book sites or Amazon. I have a degree in Philosophy as well. When I was young I used to lay in bed and just get excited by a new idea and thinking it through and turning it around. I don’t do that anymore. I’m not a genius either. But in class I always sat in the front row so I wouldn’t miss anything. My biggest regret is that I don’t have a better memory. Once I am through with a subject it gradually fades until not much is left. In my next life I’m going to have an excellent memory. You are just excited about the world and what it has to offer. Not everyone is fashioned to be part of the daily grind. I think you should just let your intuition and natural abilities lead you in the direction that is right for you; trust yourself. I don’t know you but I wouldn’t want you to be like me and wish you had taken the road less traveled.

13

So, I’m old and it’s late. That’s Mary, Queen of Scots. Elizabeth was her half-sister and Queen of England. Both daughters of Henry VIII.

14

suzeekay --you just described me to a T.

I also deplore my memory–I can remember certain things absolutely clearly. Then again, whole years of my life are obscure.
I can learn and enjoy doing so, but if I don’t use that knowledge, and I mean every day–it’s lost.
It made me good at school, unless the finals were comprehensive. And it helps explain my suckiness at math, since math is one building block after another.

Good luck to the OP–there is a spot in the world for you!

15

Many information junkies can be very happy as librarians. That’s why I ended up in the field. The problem is, though, that not every question is interesting. (Not even most.) But the ones that are! So if you can train your talents for good, maybe that’s a career field you should look into?

16

IINAP, but the more symptoms you have, the more pronounced your disorder. (Conversely, the fewer, the less.)

If you clearly see yourself in this diagnosis–and are serious about effecting change in your life–then you owe it to yourself to get a professional assessment from a qualified, experienced mental health professional.

17

Um–it was an attempt at light-hearted humor.

18

[hijack]
Sorry, I can’t stand it. You’re confusing your Marys. Mary Queen of Scots was Elizabeth’s cousin. Mary Tudor was Elizabeth’s half sister.
[/hijack]

19

IANAD, but when I have this problem, sometimes it really helps me to take a vanishingly small dose of a tranquilizer or muscle relaxer of some kind, like valium for example. It calms me down so that I can focus on one thing without getting too distracted. Of course, if you have adult ADD (or similar disorder) it would be infinitely better to get professional help. Exercise and chamomile tea are more than likely to have the same effect if you prefer not to take drugs. But I prefer the easy way out. (Please be aware that this post is purely anecdotal and not based on any medical knowledge on my part.)

20

First of all, thanks to all of you for your comments.

Check, and check. The only reason I’m able to be here right now is becuase I’ve always found odd jobs that have made better money than working as a waiter or a runner for a law firm (rickshawing, playing in bars, etc.)

Me. Me…Me. I almost get mad at my assignments when I get distracted, because I have that voice in the back of my head that says, “You should be doing your ASSIGNED work.” But, I reply (to myself) stonefaced, “I’m here studying because I want to learn, and I’m LEARNING!” I scare myself to death.

For some time, that was what worried me. I think the reason I changed majors four times my freshman year was because I wanted to find something that would please both my father and I. My father’s a very practical, organized person and doesn’t much like when things don’t have clear (or the illusion) of some clear end, like studying engineering or computer science.

I’ve convinced him that I’m good at what I do, and I love it, so I don’t think that will be a problem. That or he’s just gotten used to being shocked (“Dad, I’m going to ride my bike around Ireland.” “Dad, I’m going to study English.” “Dad, I’m going to live with a Taiwanese girl you don’t know in Paris.” “Dad, I’m going to go live in Taiwan and study Chinese.” Stuff like that).

Mom, she just doesn’t like that everything that I want to do with my life has something to do with me going somewhere far away.

Zsophia, that has crossed my mind before. The problem is that, right now, I’ve got a lot of places to go and see. Pretty much any job that requires that I stay in one place for a long period of time, isn’t for me.

By the way, I’m from Charleston and went to Clemson, so there’s some chance that I was one of those people asking you questions.

Thanks to all y’all for the help. Sometimes, it’s just nice to know that there are people with the same “problems” (just like someone mentioned about “learning disabilities”) who are doing just fine.

As for me, I’ve still got two weeks of exams left.