I was talking not long ago with m’lady about how both of us used to be married to people who thought it was perfectly fine to go around flipping off other drivers on the road from the comfort of the passenger seat. This, to me, is just fifty kinds of wrong.
Maybe I’m just a product of growing up in the shadier parts of Los Angeles, but you just don’t DO that. The last thing I want is my passenger deciding it’s OK to put both of us at risk, especially when they’re gesturing at someone who has already proven that they’re an idiot. When I’m driving, I want to be in control of what’s happening on the road as much as possible. You, as the passenger, don’t get to make decisions for me about lane choices, cruising speed, whom I should or shouldn’t let in ahead of me, and who gets flipped off.
So, two questions for y’all:
Do you think it’s OK for your passenger(s) to flip other folks off on your behalf?
What other sorts of passenger behavior do you not stand for?
I had a passenger, who I didn’t know all that well, reach over and honk the horn while I was driving. I knew what the other driver was doing and why, and they didn’t deserve a honk. It still kind of pisses me off over 20 years later.
Not OK at all. I’d be seriously pissed at someone who did this for reason’s already stated. It creates unnecessary risk for everyone in my car because of the unpredictable response of the other driver.
They also aren’t allowed to smoke or fiddle with the radio.
In college I was driving someone home from a bar when I pointed out how much I hated the window controls in the middle because passengers always thought it was funny to play with them. Not three seconds later both the windows rolled down, as I looked over to give her the stink eye she puked all over my car. So, I guess I’m glad she knew how to roll the windows down, but puking is a no no in my car. All through college I was always more then happy to be the DD. I wasn’t a drinker so they could always count on me. It was nice if I got a heads up (hey, can you pick us up tonight around 1:30?), but hell, give me a call at 3:15 am and I’ll still come and get you. I’d rather be tired all day then have my drunk friends out on the road. After the second person puked in my car, I had a rule. I will ALWAYS come and get you…but we’re taking you’re car. If they called me unexpected, I’d go to the bar, take them in their car then find a sober person to help me go back and get my car or get it in the morning. But typically we would arrange everything ahead of time and I would drop them off and come back a few hours later with their car. Worked well after that. No drunk friends on the road, no puke in my car.
To be fair to the passenger, this is quite possibly instinctual rather than a conscious decision. I’ve done this as a passenger if someone cuts us off too close or something like that - and it was a reflex that would be difficult to suppress unless I was specifically concentrating on it at the time (unlikely in a surprise situation). I’m almost always the driver, and it is completely instinctual.
My mom used to hang onto a small handle over the door and look terrified any time the car got above 40. She herself did not drive.
A friend had her car totaled because she pulled out into the street after relying on her passenger’s word that the way was clear. Afterward, the passenger claimed that she had gestured for the oncoming driver to stop, and believed the car would in fact stop. Ok, they were both idiots in that one. I don’t want a passenger trying to decide for me when it’s safe or not safe for me to go.
It’s not acceptable to flip the finger as a passenger, but I will admit to being guilty of this practice. I was prepared to handle any consequences, but after being (correctly) admonished for my behavior, I agreed that even though I was personally able to face any music, the driver wasn’t. And since I was in their car, I was also putting their personal property at risk, something I didn’t think about in my pissed off state. I have not done it since.
Add the unpredictability of the other driver (psychopath, gun-nut, road rage king, or whatever), the behavior is not recommended.
The reach over horn blow is an annoying behavior. That happened once, and never again.
When I was in college, a friend of mine did this to somebody once, who turned out to be both drunk and insane. They rammed my car. With me in it. Broadside. Repeatedly.
I don’t think flipping people off is a good idea either. But I’d also be annoyed if I was the passenger and the driver of the car flipped someone off. You never know what will happen. Look what happened to pravnik. That would be scary for both driver and passenger.
I agree that passengers flipping off other people is inappropriate (and since I’m usually the passenger, I try not to do it). I also try to limit my shouting at people on the road to when my window is closed.
My “get out and walk” behaviour from passengers? Grabbing the wheel while I’m driving. I had an ex who used to do that (I’d like to say that’s why he’s my ex, too).
My wife and I have an arrangement in which I’m the driver and she’s the navigator. Literally: I have no sense of direction, and she’s the one with the map. If she tells me to turn, I turn; if she tells me to stop, I stop. We’re a team.
Which means that if someone needs flipping off, she has as much of a right to do it as I do. In fact, I prefer that she do it - I drive better with my hands on the wheel.
The driver is in charge. The passenger is not permitted to communicate with other drivers or operate any of the car’s controls except for their own window control and even then they should consult with the driver first. Operating the horn is a big no-no.
