I think I might be slightly jumpier than most people, but this applies to me, too. I never assume that I manage to see everything that happens, so when a passenger says “Oh my God!” or something along those lines, I will likely think that I’m about to hit something. Please, for the sake of my nerves and our combined safety, don’t do this to me.
You must know some of my fraternity brothers.
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It is only acceptable for the passenger to interact with other drivers by the driver’s command. Like, “Hon, flip that guy off–the silver civic.” Or on one notable occasion on a road trip with the aforementioned fraternity brothers, “Hey, pledge, moon the other car.”
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The absolute rule is “you do not interact on the car’s behalf. I am the lord and master of this car.” I beat the hell out of my roommate’s brother because I was giving him a ride and got pulled over, and he spent literally every second the cop was at the window oinking repeatedly at a normal conversational volume. Meanwhile, my roommate was in the backseat keeping up a steady stream of comments like “You supposed to wear a hat with that uniform? Aren’t you supposed to iron it occasionally? You guys use VASCAR II–the hell kinda yokel town is this?” He at least offered to pay half the ticket, so he escaped being punched, even if his crazy fiancee refused to let him in the long run.
On one notable occasion, again, a fraternity road trip, the car (strangers to us) in front of us tossed a cigarette butt out the window during a drought. My passenger got out of the car, picked up the still-smoking butt, ran up, and threw it back into the offending car’s window. They might well have made issue of it had it not been clear that we had three cars full of guys all wearing the same fraternity letters at that stoplight.
Same here…also I slow down when told, (this one not because I agree but because I like my penis, even if she does keep my balls in her handbag)
<hangs head>No body, didn’t make her walk the thirty miles back home. Didn’t even make here get in the back seat. Just yelled at her a bit. I think this is why I’m still kind of pissed off. Hopefully, the rest of you will learn from my mistake.
Dogzilla nailed it for me. My wife does the same exaggerated explanation for a funny Facebook posting as she does if she cut off a limb. This is especially annoying when driving, and I have repeatedly asked her not to do that.
Distracting the driver is a big pet peeve of mine. Whenever we go to the airport, my wife’s father often takes us, which creates two challenges. The first is that his hearing is bad, so everyone in the car has to yell to be heard. The second is that he gets very animated when talking about anything sports related. Somehow, no matter what time of year it is, there is always some inconsequential San Diego sports team issue with either the Padres or Chargers that requires my wife to harass her father causing him to swerve or almost get us in an accident because of a recent loss/ bad play/ player trade etc. that requires lots of hand gesturing on his part while he drives. It’s getting to the point where I have to issue instructions to both of them not to talk about sports while we drive. I’m just glad I didn’t marry into an Italian family with all their hand gesturing or I would have been dead long ago.
“Murderer”? 
This has happened to my husband not once, but twice in his life. As a passenger, he saw deer coming towards the highway and said to the driver (first time his dad, the second time me) that there were deer to look out for. In both cases, there was a deer on the other side of the highway that was out of danger, and both his father and I thought that was the deer he meant. What he actually meant was the deer that were just about to get hit by our speeding car. We have since instituted a system whereby if someone sees deer coming towards the highway, they say “Deer!” and POINT AT THEM!
Sorry, the visual is making me laugh. Sounds like there’s so many deer where you live that driving down the highway is like playing Frogger.
It’s not the passenger’s decision. Nothing that happens in the car is up to them unless I specifically asked them to do it.
So - unacceptable behaviour: anything distracting. Touching the radio, including turning it up when I’m trying to drive in traffic so that I can’t hear anything going on around me. Making alarmed noises of any kind that distract me and make me frantically look around for the non-existent danger that I didn’t see because it didn’t exist. Leaning forwards or putting your feet up on my dashboard so that I can’t see in the side mirror. Adjusting any of the mirrors. Smoking, eating or drinking in an unreasonably loud or smelly fashion and/or without offering to share. Criticising my driving, including snide remarks, intakes of breath, and stamping on imaginary pedals. Touching my steering wheel, horn, gear lever or any other controls. Touching my hands or arms unless I started it. Telling me off for commenting on the behaviour of other drivers. Sitting there like a useless lump of lazy shit who owns the universe and I’m just your chauffeur.
I think I’m intolerant.
Here’s one my brother used to always nag me about. The middle arm rest belongs to the driver.
Teacake, maybe the list of what is appropriate behavior in your vehicle would be shorter. Care to give it a shot?
(on ‘braking’ with a non-existing passenger-side brake pedal)
Agree with that - it’s just instinctual if you are usually the driver. Also it’s entirely harmless if possibly annoying.
Any controls for driving (steering wheel, horn, indicators, gear stick) are completely off-limits for a passenger of course. I volunteer the all-clear for traffic from the right when the driver concentrates on turning left, but only for drivers where there is a general level of trust between the two of us.
One exception I made one time: when coming to a stop after a middling crash I engaged the flashing hazard lights because the driver was too rattled to do anything.
I also do not comment on driving (except for an involuntary sharp indrawing of breath e.g. when the outside wheel touches the shoulder.)
Definitely not the passenger’s right to flip off, yell at, or otherwise potentially anger other drivers.
Also, passengers should not change the radio station (at least without consulting the driver), should not eat anything messy in the car without the driver’s permission, or spend a lot of time texting, reading, or talking on the phone with other people, again without the driver’s blessing. I’m not a chauffeur. If you want somebody to give you a ride so you can carry on your personal activities and ignore the driver, that’s what taxis are for. At least ask me–chances are I’ll be fine with it, especially if the music is on.
I also believe, though, that it’s not right for the driver to flip off, yell at, or otherwise potentially anger other drivers with a passenger in the car, either. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but you don’t have the right to put another person at risk with your anger-management issues.
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It’s not OK for ANYONE to flip ANYONE off in traffic, ever. Not me as the driver, not my passenger. It’s crude and juvenile behavior, and diminishes the quality of our civilization each time someone does it. (I’m only slightly exaggerating my view here.)
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No smoking in my car, and no overriding my music or A/C preferences.
My ex-husband, when I hadn’t asked for help would bark “Go now!” in certain merging or turning situations. A couple of times I reflexively did “Go now!”, but he generally got it wrong. It’s not the only reasin he’s my ex, but it;s on the list.
I am also anti bird flipping by anyone, passenger or driver.
We live in a rural area with lots of deer, so we’re always on the watch for them, especially at night, driver and passenger both.
One night Mr. S and I were on our way home, and he was driving. We’d been having a slightly heated conversation (I forget about what) and were in the middle of an irritated silence.
Suddenly I said, “Deer.”
Mr. S, hearing a sarcastic “Dear,” sighed, “What now?”
“Deer! In the ditch!”
Oh.
My parents smoked in their cars. Of course their smoking evenutally killed them, so I don’t have to worry about pressing the ejection button while driving them about. Any live smokers in my car? SPROING!
The two incidents actually happened far, far away from here; the first one was in Ontario, I think it was, and the second one was somewhere in the US.
The concept is that trying to murder someone already makes you a murderer, if a somewhat-inefficient one.
The brakers don’t do it on occasion: they spend the whole trip looking like their guts are about to jump out of their throats and with one foot pushing against the floor like their life depends on that gesture.
Someone going “woah, wasn’t that a bit too close?” doesn’t offend me. Someone flatfooting does.
There are people here who consider it acceptable to be touched while driving? I once threatened my mother with never even taking her as far as the hospital (less than 2 miles from her house) if she did touch me to get my attention, as she had almost done.
I sometimes tell my husband how to drive, but it really annoys him so I’m working on holding my tongue. I still do the sharp intake of breath if we come close to the shoulder or he turns left with only a bit of room. Also, he doesn’t always realize it, but he’s turning into the type of driver his father is - i.e. driving just below the speed limit (not in the left lane - I’d say something at that point), hugging the line, etc. I hate it, but don’t say anything about it.
I can’t really think of something that a passenger would do that would make me angry. Maybe I’m too laid back.