Hmm can you make it sound prettier? I mean I’ve always thought the dialtone sound was a little foreboding, since I’m often afraid of talking to people in the first place. Something soothing, like a babbling brook perhaps?
I sit in class, yawn, write things down, catch up on the sleep I didn’t get last night, and such-like. Eventually, I hope to be the guy in a theatre who says “Lights up!” and then it happens. Or maybe the guy who presses the button that makes the lights come up. One or the other.
I make justice happen. Which requires using significantly more paper than you would expect, really.
I (attempt to) make rocket boosters not blow up before they are supposed to. Or I figure out why other peoples’ boosters fail to launch or explode before they are supposed to. This usually requires Colombo-style persistance, and in fact, Peter Falk is my current idol.
Sometimes I try to take big pieces of ground equipment that were never intended to fly and shove them into the back of an aircraft. This usually results in much amusement, and no small amount of frustration, from air crews and loadmasters.
Also, I make computers go “Bing!” when they’re supposed to, and not go “Kerrrch!” when they’re not.
Stranger
I pretend I’m a wrinkly elephant, sing “wash, wash, wash your hands” to the tune of “Here we go round the mulberry bush”, pretend to be a waiter or passport inspector or check in counter staff, correct undreadable Phd theses and drink a lot of coffee.
I stand in front of classes and try to get you to pay attention.
(Well, not you specifically, Strinka. Just, you know, in general).
I take animals to classrooms, daycares, birthday parties, Scout, Guide, Brownies and Cub meetings and parks, and then I talk about them and show them off.
After that, I take them back to the zoo and feed them and clean their cages. Sometimes I give tours at the zoo and once in a while I teach Nature Club.
I stand for hours on end in front of little demons disguised as angelic children, and strive mightly to teach them the mysteries of gerunds, infinitives, clauses and other grammatical dogma.
I move numbers around so that our 3rd party can get paid. Every 15 accounts or so, I post on the SDMBs
I cook, clean, wash dishes and laundry, ask two surly people every night after dinner, “What do you want for dinner tomorrow night?”, and look for cheap plane tickets. Sometimes I have to groom one or the other of those surly people. I also get yelled at a lot and told that I’m horrible and lazy.
You’re an ocean?
Sorry. Just kidding!
I occasionally leave my room to take copious notes.
You wiseass. He’s the Great Barrier Reef.
Nah man… I’m the Great Barrier reefer.
Bike Rider, I have checked and note that you are actually on our list of Undesireables. I have placed you on the Transitional List pending approval for a transfer to the Semi-Desireable list.
I try to prepare often bored but occasionally brilliant rich teenagers for the technology-filled world that awaits them and expects them to have a certain skill level in, the one that the generations before them, by and large, including some of their other teachers, seem to desperately trying to remain as ignorant as possible about.
I keep interesting things from happening.
I sit in class rooms taking notes and learning how to derive things. Then I go home and practice how to do the things I took the notes on earlier. I occaitionally take (and ace) exams on said things. Every friday night I get roaring drunk, and every saturday afternoon I wake up and try to remember what it was I did on said friday night. Then on sunday I practice doing the things again.
That’s what I do.
You know how everybody always says: “The government should do something about the environment?”
Well, in my little province, I try to. It involves:
- Asking politicians if I’m allowed to to pay experts to tell us how to improve a specific nature reserve;
-Asking politicians and organizations if I’m allowed to to pay experts to improve a specific nature reserve;
-Asking politicians and organiszations if I’m allowed to to pay experts to research if the improvements had a desireable effect.
-Reporting to the politicians about said effects.
Scotandrsn, you don’t happen to teach at USC do you?
Because I was going there until recently and that sounds rather familiar. (and I see you’re in L.A. too)
Do statistics at CDC. Teach statistics part-time at a local university to mathematically-phobic non-traditional-age students. Maintain website for said courses.
Moderate a web forum.