I’ve got a small, but close group of friends. Wouldn’t trade 'em for the world. When I first started hanging out with them, two of them were married (to each other), and the rest of us were single. There was some attempts at dating within the circle, most of it not ending well. Recently, however, some of it has really clicked, and two others of the circle are now seeing each other seriously. That leaves me and one other, who has decided he wants to start seriously dating again, and has cast his net out upon the waters.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m generally happy being single. Generally. But I’m finding that more and more the rest of the circle is starting to do ‘couples’ things. It’s not intentional, I’m not being ignored, but…
Well, it hurts. I’ll be honest, I’m an ugly guy who hasn’t seriously dated anyone in about a decade. I know I’m going to remain single even if I attempt to be otherwise. This… Just kinda underscores it. Seeing the new couple being romantic, hearing the old couple talk about having kids, seeing the other single guy going out with various women… It’s a nigh-on constant reminder. “Arrr, you’re an ugly, lonely guy… And you always will be.”
I guess this was more of me venting than asking for advice. I’m not sure there’s anything in specific that -can- be done. So…
Just venting, I guess.
I understand exactly what you’re dealing with Arr. My main group of pals now consists of four couples… and me. Go out to dinner? I’m the one on the end of the table. Our annual redneck festival? At the end of the row or ignored. What has become even sadder is that one friend (cough) has decided I should at least “hook up” at the redneck festival so I won’t be lonely. No thanks. Drunk guys in cowboy hats do absolutely nada for me. I’ve tried getting out of going but my sister prebuys the tickets, and if I weasel out I have to pay her the $$ and deal with the accompanying guilt trip.
There’s not a heck of a lot you can do about it. Last year I managed to injure myself, thereby giving myself an “out” from most of the festivities (“No, you go on in, I’ll just stay here and read. Really. I’m okay. JUST GO!!”), but I don’t know if I can injure myself again this year.
Hey, you wouldn’t, by chance, want to go to a county music hoohah in Minnesota, would you? 
I’ve been where you are, my brother, and I feel for you. because I’ve been where you are.
I was a 5’9", 110-pound guy (by CHOICE), hanging out with some of the buffest, most fit guys and girls on the planet. let’s just say that if you were a woman, and had your pick of my whole entire team, I’d be the last guy you’d choose. Even if you were going to be shot. But I survived and did all right. How? By seeing the bright side and playing to my strengths.
If you want a pity-party, you came to the wrong guy, but I would be glad to help you see the positives in this. And there are many.
The truth is, once you get past the “my pals have S.O.s and I don’t” part, is that you are in much better position to get past the annoying part of dating and get into real territory.
Your friends’ circles will widen due to S.O. involvement, and that will mean more opportunity for them to mention you to their other circles. If they know you well, and it sounds like they do, they’ll know you’re available and looking, and they will steer compatible people your way. And let’s be honest. They won’t send you someone they know you’ll hate or that will certainly hate you. They’ll set you up with someone they’ve evaluated who will trust and respect you, and look past any superficial crap in the same way that your friends do.
Or they’ll set you up with a raging mega-slut, and that will work out all right as well.
The bottom line is that coupled-up friends hate to see the other members of their circle single. It’s some weird thing they have. And having your friends set you up means that whoever you date has been screened to fit your profile, much more than some random girl in a bar would be.
Look on the bright side. Your available pool might be smaller, but the members of that pool will be of much higher quality.
Uhm, do I even wanna know what a hoohah is?
Unless, of course, one of the married women wants you to be her “dick-in-a-glass-case”.
What can you do? Find new friends.
I don’t have the exact situation as you, but similar: I’m 29 and most of my friends are having kids or have had kids. So a lot of them seem to only want friends with kids. I think they’re going to regret it when the kids aren’t so dependent, but what can I say?
Don’t worry too much.
There’s a lot of people who preach that, basically, being in a relationship is A Good Thing and not is A Bad Thing. This isn’t true. There are pros and cons either way, whether you are attached or single. I’m single (through choice) and always will be, and I wouldn’t swap places with anyone I know (although if I ever get to know Jacqueline Bisset’s current partner, that statement will need to be revised).
If you’re not getting what you need / want from this erstwhile great crop of friends, then get yourself some new ones. All it takes is ‘Hi’.
I’ve always wanted one of them “dick in a glass case” thingamajiggers, but don’t know how to acquire one. Ya think they have them on sale here at Wal-Mart? Cause I don’t know if I want to look for one on Ebay. Cause, you know, it mighta been used.
:wally
…huh?
Sorry if that went over your head there. I’m just so sick of the “dick in glass case” thing. Every time a man whines about being single, or having a female friend that doesn’t want to have sex with him, someone always comes up with the “dick in glass case” comment. It happens so often in these types of threads that, by process of elimination, every woman must have one. I don’t, and I feel left out. These “dicks in glass cases” must be available at every corner drugstore, but I haven’t seen one anywhere.
I’ve never viewed any of my male friends that way, and I don’t know any woman who has, and I find it incredibly insulting.
Went over mine too. And still is. What’s a dick in a glass case?
I normally don’t read these threads and don’t use slang much either so the term’s lost on me.
The “dick in a glass case” thing is from the threads where guys bitch about some girl wanting to be friends rather than lovers. It never fails that someone will come along and state that the woman in question in using him as her emergency backup guy, that he’s the sexual equivalent of those fire hoses encased in glass. Thus the term dick in a glass case.
Ah. Thanks, CrazyCatLady.
What a stupid idea.
What’s worse about being the Last One in my group of friends is that, until recently, I didn’t know that ‘confirmed bachelor’ was code for ‘gay’. I only learned that here on the SDMB.
I just thought that ‘confirmed bachelor’ meant ‘unlikely ever to get hitched for whatever reason’, and used it to describe myself occasionally.
Add that I’m tolerant towards gay people, and have only recently learned to be social (small talk, body language, and all that), and I come to the conclusion that I must have given off a strong ‘unattractive for dating because of a number of possible reasons’ vibe to women.
Stupid euphemisms.
Happy Scrappy, I’ll have to take your advice and start asking my married friends. 
Huh, I’ve never heard of that either. I wonder if it recently took on this new meaning, or if I’m just obtuse?
Sorry! I was trying to come across as sarcastic and I ended up being obtuse! I will try harder next time :o
Heh. Believe me, I have no thoughts about being ‘glass cased’, or whatever. I’m just not sure what to do in order to make me feel any better about the situation.
Thanks to Crazy Cat Lady, I get it, but this is still the weirdest way of putting it I’ve ever heard of.
ArrMatey, you say you’re ugly and will be alone for the rest of your life. First, we’re going to need a picture, and you’re probably not as unattractive as you think you are. Second, people are attracted to other people based on a whole lot more than looks. Third, as we get older, we’re all getting uglier, if you consider wrinkles, grey hair, and flab ugly.
Are you looking to get hooked up? Cause if you are, you came to the right place. You’ve had one offer for a date already.
I’ve noticed this too with friends and family with kids. I don’t think they do it on purpose; it’s just a case of their lives and priorities and interests changing dramatically. We did actually go out and find new friends; we joined a No Kidding group - a bunch of childless-by-choice people.