. A small thing, but every morning I click on the links for feeding animals in shelters, food for the world’s impoverished, and save the rain forest. You know - click on the link and the sponsors contribute a cup of food for human or animal, save a square foot of the rain forest. I don’t know how much good it really does, but I do it religiously and cannot get on with the day until I do.
. Make a conscious effort to stop and think of my answer when asked a question. No only do I find myself searching searching searching for an elusive word (a condition that comes with menopause), I make an effort to compose my answer so that I don’t sound like quite such a confused spluttering idiot.
. Make a conscious effort to be upbeat, fun, and encouraging with my 21 year old daughter who is making great plans and feels the world is going to be her oyster some day - she’ll own a house and a lot of animals - she’ll get a great job in her field of study - and the future is just gonna be so bright. I certainly HOPE so for her sake and encourage her ambitions even though I have (entirely my own worldview) deep and dark doubts about anyone’s future.
Be patient. I am not naturally patient. I have a toddler, and another baby on the way. I don’t think I’m naturally very good with kids, but I want to be, and work on improving my skillset. Patience is a huge part of that.
Try not to engage in gossip or detraction (telling other’s faults without due cause). I tend to do both, and am consciously trying to keep my mouth shut more. Detraction is particularly tempting and destructive.
Be tidier. I also lack the good homemaker gene, and I can make a kitchen look like something exploded in almost no time. I’m gradually learning better habits.
Biting my tongue in front of my son when my husband and I disagree on discipline. My husband has a far shorter fuse and much higher expectations than I do of our three-year old. He’s not cruel, but he can be very quick to react and disciplines far more quickly than I sometimes think is necessary. That’s the hardest part of parenting I’ve encountered so far, but it’s also extremely important. And it sucks.
I also have to make a big effort to thank my husband for doing things around the house, mostly because I’m so used to being the one doing everything that when he chips in, I’m usually thinking, “Finally!” I have to remind myself that he doesn’t generally get bothered by clutter the same way I do (visual static really stresses me out), so whenever he does something - with or without me asking - I try to make sure he knows I appreciate it.
I also have to make an effort to support my husband in those things that are important to him. He has a list, and has for years, of household or joint projects that need to get done. Since I’m more focused on day-to-day maintenance, I used to forget that he had a laundry list of larger issues that needed to be addressed - like, “create a financial plan,” “replace the air conditioner,” etc. You know, things that are longer term, usually require some planning, research or just time, but are necessary. So, I set a reminder for myself to sit down with him regularly and make sure we’ve split things up so he’s not handling all the major household repairs and joint to-dos alone.
I don’t think there’s enough database space to hold all of my faults that I work on.
Some of the important ones are:
maintaining a positive outlook
I suffer from low self confidence. It’s irrational, as I have a great marriage, great kids and have made a nice career for myself (especially not being a college graduate). But I still don’t have a lot of confidence. So it’s easy
to get down on myself over stupid things and makes it hard to cope
with change…
dealing with change in positive ways
I admit it, I don’t like change and my first reaction to things is to be
pissed off and think of the myriad of changes are a bad idea. After
a while I get used to things and look for ways to make things go
smoothly.
not letting emotions get the best of me
I’m too quick to get upset, irriated or mad at people. I’m excellent
at managing my emotions in the work setting and at home, with
friends, etc. But online, I’m often a raging assoholic. It sometimes prevents me from seeing the logic in what people write and makes it
way to easy to just go for the personal insult. Sadly, it’s hard to
get rid of a bad e-rep on a message board, so I end up feeling
like a pariah.
I also have this tacit need to be a leader, which sometimes makes it
hard for me to deal with situations where I’m not. Like being in a band,
for example. I’ve gotten in more BS in bands because of my ornery
attitude.
overcoming a certain kind of shyness
I’m not a “people person” and have problems talking to people I don’t know or just making small talk. In some ways I feel physically uncomfortable in group situations. It isn’t that I don’t -like- people it’s just that I can’t quite get over the hump of being very open.
Stand up straight, square my shoulders, and suck in my gut. Most people walk around looking like shit, and I try to look like I’m proud that I’m a human and alive.
Tell people where I’m going and when I’ll be back whenever I leave the house. My family has a terrible habit of not telling each other where we all are; often my brother will vanish from the house, someone will ask where he is, and the rest of us will respond with shrugs. It drives my sister’s fiance (and my boyfriend) crazy. I’ve started communicating with the others because I realize that if something serious were to happen to me, it’d be better for my family to know where I was (or where I’d planned on being) so that they (or the police, if need be) would know where to go first.
I also make a conscious effort to clean up after myself, and otherwise help out around the house. I still live with my parents at 22, and I realize how lucky I am to have their roof over my head, so I always try to do whatever they ask me without hesitation, often without their having to ask me at all. I may live at home, but I don’t like to be seen as a lazy moocher–I have an almost neurotic fear of being a burden to others.
Use however instead of but.
Be thankful everyday that I live when modern medical is readily available.
Be thankful I live both when and where I don’t fear the authorities – police and military.
Be thankful that I live when and where I fight weight gain not when and where I would have to fight for food.
Be thankful I can read (I learned in 6th grade – long and boring story).
Go outside for at least ½ hour each day into the sunlight (I work at night).
Tell my friends I like them.
Your list reminds me of something else I make a conscious effort to do: whenever something happens that stresses me out, I try to turn it around into something to be grateful for. For example, yesterday something got stuck in my garbage disposal (unbeknownst to me), and before I could turn it off, it forcefully ejected not only the spoon that was stuck in it, but also forcefully vomited out a column of water filled with bits of soaking wet food. All over my face (and glasses!) and sweatshirt. Ewwww. Once I got cleaned up, though, I started counting the blessings involved:
That wouldn’t have happened at all if we didn’t have food to eat in the first place.
That wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have a garbage disposal, which I generally love having.
All I got hit with was water and wet, old food. I could have been hit with the ejected spoon, and injured or had my glasses broken.
If I’m bummed about having to do the laundry (again!), I turn it around in my mind:
I have a washer and dryer that I’m thankful for. How much easier is that than what my ancestors had to do?
Having to do laundry means we have clothes to wear!
It also means I’m physically well enough to actually do the laundry!
Yes, I’m generally a much happier person if I consciously make an effort to be grateful.
