A good friend of mine was recently arrested for allegedly having sex with a minor. It is a felony count that carries a maximum term of 10 years. (The alleged victim was 15, if anyone’s interested, and he is in his twenties.)
I’m still kind of in shock, so I can’t even begin to imagine how Jeff must feel. I just got off the phone with him, and from what it sounds like, he’s fucked. Also, from what other have told me, he is also possibly suicidal. However, he has not told me this himself (although I don’t think I’d expect him to.)
I want to be there for him, and be his friend, but what the hell am I supposed to say?
“Hey man, I know it seems bad, but don’t kill yourself?”
“So, is there any decent chance at avoiding prison and becoming a fucking elon and a convicted sex offender, which may haunt you the rest of your life?”
Obviously those are not real winners.
We talked about some of the usual stuff we talk about, but avoiding the subject of his arrest is like pretending there isn’t an elephant in the living room. The next time I talk to him, should I just focus on the ‘usual’ and try to cheer him up and take his mind off things? Stay away from talking about the case almost entirely? My natural instinct is to want to find out all the facts and then analyze them, but in this situation I’m pretty sure the analysis would lead to an ugly and depressing conclusion.
I also really, really don’t want to see him harm himself, and want to do whatever I can to help avoid that. I’m starting to think that a written letter might be in order, though I’m still not sure exactly what to say. I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing in what might be a delicate situation.
Any advice?
-neuroman
P.S.
Obviously my friend should not have been involved with a girl this young, but if anyone wants yell at him for that, I request that you take it straight to the Pit and keep it out of this thread. Thanks.