What do you think about this No Shoes trend?

In My Humble Opinion
81

I’m perfectly aware of what Miss Manners says about this; I own that book.

But the shoes thing isn’t a hard-and-fast etiquette rule; it’s Miss Manners speaking from her (considerable) authority. I think she’s right most of the time. I happen to think she’s making a hard-and-fast rule in a situation where one isn’t called for. I also think she’s labeling a lot of people “rude” who aren’t.

Demanding that guests remove their shoes is rude. Making a polite request isn’t. I’ve never made anyone uncomfortable or forced them to take off their shoes. I make it clear that they’re free to refuse, and some do.

Furthermore, I do happen to live in a part of the country where the “no shoes” thing is pretty much local custom, for practical reasons. So what if we’re not Japanese? Our customs are still entitled to respect.

82

When in Rome, I do as the Romans do.

83

No. Just uninvited. Oh, I have a big sign over the door that reads: No Leg Braces or Prostheses Allowed. This Means You.

Are we serious about this? I discourage bike riding in the house, so it’s logical to assume that wheelchairs are forbidden?

As I stated in an earlier post, repairmen are on the job, and I’m grateful enough to have them show up and fix/service whatever’s broken. I’m not going to ask them to take their work shoes off while they’re working, but since it’s been brought up a couple of times on this thread, I think it bears mentioning that the new trend in maintenence/moving seems to be paper booties.

Quoting Miss Manners fails to impress me. I can’t think of a single time when my behavior has been directly influenced by her dictates and I think she’s dead wrong on this particular point. Guests are more than welcome to walk on my floors. Their outside shoes, however, are merely tolerated.

84

I don’t wear shoes in the house, but it’s a comfort issue rather than a dirty carpet issue. Guests are free to wear or remove their shoes as they see fit. The only time I would ever ask them to remove their footwear is if said footwear was extremely dirty – dripping with fresh mud, plastered in dog excrement, or otherwise liable to make an unusual mess (“Howdy, axe murdering neighbor! Would you mind taking those blood-soaked sneakers off?”). And that’s pretty rare; in my experience there are not a lot of people regularly walking around in poop-soled shoes.

Those of you who have a no-shoes policy: don’t you have welcome mats? There’s a bristly mat outside my house, specifically designed for shoe-scraping, and a good scuff across the sole will remove most of the mung. There’s also a textured mat just inside the door for secondary wiping. If I was living in an area where guests had to walk over several miles of bad road before arriving at my doorstep, I’d invest in a bootscraper and a whisk. Otherwise I’m kind of surprised that there’s so much angst over what to me is ordinary, everyday outdoor dirt which can be disposed of without much difficulty before you ever come into the house.

Also, chalk me up on the side of “oogy” at the idea of removing my shoes in someone else’s house. If slippers are provided, I can think of them in the same way as a gown at the doctor’s office, and I’ll wear them without complaint. But if you expect me to just toss off my shoes and plod around in my socks, or barefoot for gosh sakes, I’d rather stay out on the stoop.

85

Industrial strength.

That’s how I feel about shoes inside.

This just strikes me as such an extreme sentiment. You hate stocking feet that much? I don’t feel that strongly about it. I prefer them off; if someone wants them on, I internally make an “ick” face, graciously allow it, and forget the issue.

I guess I don’t get why people feel so strongly about this. (I’m posting a lot mostly just 'cause I’m bored today, and puzzled as to why my preference makes me “rude,” “pretentious,” and " insulting.")

86

I don’t think your position is pretentious or rude. It’s just a question of what pushes your buttons, vs. what pushes mine. For you it’s outdoor shoes in the house. For me it’s socks in public.

To me it’s not about “hating” stocking feet, per se, it’s just somehow… I don’t know, indecent to be walking around in something I equate to underwear. They soak up sweat, they get stained, they fray. They serve as a buffer between my feet and my shoes in the same way that my undies buffer my nethers from my pants. Am I a prude? I can’t imagine anyone in my family schlepping around in their socks in a situation where they are a guest, unless the host is another family member or a close friend. Slippers are fine; “indoor shoes” are fine. Ask me to swap shoes for an indoor pair, I’m with you. But asking me to ditch my shoes without providing a suitable substitute is like asking me to ditch my pants.

And bare feet… ooorrrgh. Don’t go there. At the beach, in the park, in your backyard, no problem sir. Anywhere else is a violation of the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” policy. Plus, I’ve been in too many drafty, dodgy houses where my poor little tootsies were exposed to ice-cold parquet flooring. Not fun at all.

87

enipla
Believe me, no shoes does keep the house cleaner. Especially if you have a houseful of soccer playing guys. Or merely if kids are involved in general.

When there is snow/rain/mud outside, no-shoes keeps the house cleaner.

If the weather is inclement, our dogs don’t wipe their feet, but we wipe them for them. They know to expect this and patiently wait in the mudroom.

All that said, there are such things as doormats, and while I like taking my shoes off and the immediate family does as well, I am not about to ask guests to do such a thing.
We have a broom, we have a vacuum, we have a mop.
I don’t care about the carpet or wood floor all that much. I’d be a nervous wreck if I did.

88

Well, yeah, If you have kids playing soccer, and they have messy shoes, of course take them off/clean them before they come in.

When we lived in Illinois, our collie would wade in the creek, sometimes getting quite muddy, sometimes we would have to dip her legs in a bucket of water and clean it off before letting her in.

Day to day stuff, for us, I really doubt it makes a difference.

The carpet in this house has been here since 1984. It’s on padding, then concrete.

The house wasn’t really lived in (I don’t think) till about 1989. I bought it in ’92. From ’92 till 2002, we heated with wood. We brought icy, bark/sawdust covered firewood into the house for 10 years. Not to mention the dust and ashes from the fireplace itself.

Plus 2 cats and a Dog.

For six months out of the year, the worst that can happen is a little clean snow on our boots. We have a gravel drive, but I can’t remember the last time I found a rock from it in the house. Of course, If I have messy boots from working in mud, I’ll take my boots off.

We vacuum about once a week, and do the rental rug-doctor thing about twice a year.

Our carpet, a solid color (no stipples or anything to hide dirt) looks good. That’s 20 year old carpet that’s been abused pretty bad. I think it must be really good carpet.

For myself, I’m much prefer to leave my shoes on until I’m completely settled down for the night.

Houses are made to be lived in. Provided you don’t have messy shoes, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

89

I prefer to keep my shoes on at other people’s houses, out of consideration for them. For some reason, no matter what I do, I tend to have the dreaded Stink Foot :eek:

90

The latter.
When I was growing up, we got dressed in the morning, which involved putting shoes on. At the end of the day, we’d take them off. There were exceptions (barefoot at some times of the summer, curling up under blankets on the couch to watch movies, etc.)

Now, if I change clothes when I come home (often) I won’t wear shoes. But I live alone in a small apartment. If I don’t change, I tend to leave my shoes on. When I visit my parents, I leave my shoes on. I don’t live there any more.

But, trying to thinkabout it, shoeless to me is a kind of “undressed.” It is (in my mind) very casual. Not at the walking around in your pajamas/underwear level of casual - but a step too far in that direction at someone else’s house. I wouldn’t presume to do that any more than I would to start going through their cabinets or to wiggle out of my bra because it was too uncomfortable.

I do it when I’m asked - which I hate, because I really do have really hideous feet and surprising me with “show off your ugliest, unhideable feature!” always strikes me as a unkind way to treat your guests. Also, it smacks of putting putting things before people, rather than the other way around.

91

We went all around this issue awhile ago - turns out that most Canadians are shoes-off in the house, and were surprised:
A. That a lot of Americans don’t take their shoes off automatically upon coming into a house and
B. By the depth of emotion that some Americans displayed at the very thought of being asked to take your shoes off.

If you visit a residence in Western Canada, it will be assumed that you will take your shoes off upon entering a house, Miss Manners be damned. Accommodations will be made for people with special needs, but for the average person just walking in, the shoes come off automatically. If you go to a party in a house here, you put proper socks on or even take a pair of house shoes, because you know your shoes are coming off when you get there. It’s kinda funny to see the front foyer of houses where there is a party, because there are tons of pairs of shoes and boots all lined up there.

92

People who wear shoes at home–do you not lounge much? (Honest question–I’m curious if there’s a split in behavior.)

When I’m home I usually do homework, watch TV, read, etc. with my feet on the couch, or on the coffee table. I find sitting on the couch with my feet on the floor feels kind of…I can’t find the word. Stilted? Formal? Not right, anyway. When I get fidgety (or need to do something) I get up and move around. I would never put shoes (or even slippers) on furniture, and putting on/removing shoes every time I got up and sat back down would drive me nuts.

(Obviously–at least I hope!–the feet-on-furniture thing is not an issue in places where you’re a guest, but I’m curious about at-home habits.)

93

I was raised in Western Canada. We take our shoes off. Period.

Since moving here (Baltimore), my in-laws have accepted that I will not wear shoes in their house. I think they’re fine with that. I don’t force anyone to remove their footwear in my home; Dave was raised with shoes-on, I was raised shoes-off, and my son takes off his shoes when he comes in the house.

I’m appalled at the state of shoes in the winter, walking all over my (new) carpet, but I don’t own the place. When I do, rest assured that there will be changes made.

94

My Wife takes her shoes off when she gets home, but it has nothing to do with keeping the carpet clean. She’s more comfortable. I’m more comfortable with them on.

I like the support and the ability to go outside on a whim, without having to put my shoes back on. Also I like the traction and support I get from them. My computer is in a loft served by very steep stairs. It’s safer for me to be in shoes.

Heh, the downside of this is… Oh, you have your shoes on, could you get my skis,glasses,book out of my car. No problem, since I love doing things for my Wife.

Whatever floats your boat. I live in my house. It isn’t a museum piece, and wasn’t meant to be.

95

Casa TLD is a shoeless home. My wife is Vietnamese, and it follows that many of my extended family are too, and also a few of my friends, and this has got me so used to taking my shoes off that I look back on my childhood home where shoes were permitted, and I think “eugh”.

To those who say, “hey, it’s a dirty world”, just clean up!" , well it’s a rainy, snowy world too, but we have a roof. It’s the same thing to me. Yes, dog shit exists, no it’s not the end of the world if some of that ends up on my hardwood floor, yes I can simply clean it up, but no I’d rather not have dog excrement in my house in the first place, thanks. This isn’t such a freaky desire on my part, I don’t think.

That said, and I feel people are going to extremes a bit in this thread. I’m not trying to keep my house at operating theatre levels of cleanliness - if I leave for work and forget something, I’ll not hesitate to just march back into the house in my boots and get it. I will sometimes walk down my front path to the letterbox in bare feet too - no doubt I track a little dust and crap into the house from the soles of my feet. It’s about minimising dirty floors, not about having them so clean that it becomes an inconvenience. Similarly, in my “shoes allowed” childhood home, my mum would tell me to take them off if I was settling in for a long period of indoorsy activity - but that was more out of concern for my comfort than for the house.
The general custom amongst the Vietnamese I know here in Sydney (with a nod to the fact that they are living in a Western country) is that if I turn up at their home for a brief visit (five or ten minutes), we go through a ritual of my beginning to take off my shoes, their protesting “no, don’t worry. Just come on in”, and my taking my shoes off anyway. Flipflop-style sandals may or may not be provided. Socks or bare feet are acceptable. It should also be noted that the removal of one’s shoes does not have any connotation of informality - it is common for professional people making a business-oriented house call in a suit and tie to be shoeless (but in socks).

96

i had a long post, but TheLoadedDog said it better than me. while i understand weather, pets and others, i still cannot see how expecting one to take off his shoes is being rude. i had thought it weird that in the OP ‘no shoes’ were stipulated on an invitation card, but now i understand.

try going without shoes (all the time) for a month?

97

Sure, if you don’t have to work. :dubious:

Just to sum up, reasons why people have stated it’s rude to be asked to take off their shoes:

  1. Feeling of being too informal or naked without shoes.
  2. Unattractive feet.
  3. Smell.
  4. Difficulty removing double knots.
  5. Prosthetic devices (including my step father who wears a brace attached to his shoe).
  6. Stepping on something wet and icky on the floor in someone’s house (water on the floor, cat urine), risk of ruining panty hose.
  7. Cold feet.
  8. Borrowed slippers are kinda gross and not at all analogous to communal dishes washed in a dishwasher.
  9. Embarassment (holes in socks, plantars warts)
  10. Shoes carefully chosen as part of an outfit.

I still will remove shoes if asked - but the floors had better be WARM (I’m definitely not wearing borrowed slippers, that’s as gross as borrowing a tooth brush, ugh sweaty feet in slippers!) and there really should be a comfy place to sit down to remove the shoes.

98

It would be very rude to have a party and then ask guests to remove their shoes once they got there. Obviously you aren’t going to force them, but in those circumstances you are putting them on the spot in front of an audience, which is quite rude.

Sending the no-shoes invitation isn’t rude, because it lets everyone know in advance, and they can take the necessary measures to either be comfortable shoeless or not go.

Personally, I wear shoes whenever I am going anywhere later in the day. This means that I wear shoes when I go to someone’s house, because I am going somewhere (home) later in the day. At home, I take off my shoes once I know I won’t be leaving the house again that day.

99

I hate when people don’t take their shoes off at my place. Fortunately most do, following my lead and I don’t have too many guests anyways.

I actually lay on my floor, so the idea of what has been trampled in from outside being on the floor is not pleasant. I have carpeting, so if it was hardwood floors I might feel a bit otherwise.

Maybe a good compromise would be to invest in some of those slippers that fit over shoes?

100

i know many people who have an extra pair of office slippers to wear while sitting down behind their desk.

[ol]
[li] i understand that, but wouldn’t it be more awkward to be the only one with shoes on?[/li][li] ok. [/li][li] a guest really shouldn’t bring smelly feet to an invitation, that is like going there without bathing. [/li][li] they’re just knots! pffft… (ok, that is not true. my casual shoes are knotted just so that they can be taken on or off without re-tying. as it is with many of my friends. )[/li][li] no one expects them to take off theirs. [/li][li] the bathroom comes with slippers or clogs, and towels to dry off your feet. ‘no-shoes’ homes with pets usually have very well trained (and clean) pets. risk of ruining panty hose?[/li][li] i understand that. it’s warm here though. [/li][li] agreed, though i’ve never seen borrowed slippers here. it’s either barefoot or socks, up to you. [/li][li] then buy new socks[/li][li] then choose an outfit that will look just as fine without. [/ol][/li]
i am not trying to be snarky or whatever. just curious over something as universal as shoes.
another thing. informal parties here are generally largish and there aren’t enough sofas or chairs to go around, so most everyone is sitting on the floor/carpet which is cosier than getting individual chairs for everyone.