Recently someone recommended that I try out local singles’ groups to see if I could meet someone. I was wondering if anyone at SDMB has any experience with them. What kind was it? Did it cost anything? What kind of people did you meet?
I don’t know exactly what kind I’m interested in, but I think it would be non-sectarian, non-sports-oriented. Obviously it would be for people in my age range (around 30) and I would want it be, uhh, “intellectually-revealing”, by which I mean I would want it to make clear what, if anything, is going on in the heads of the other singles.
My experience has been that there are few people in singles’ groups under 40 or so – most I;ve seen are oriented towards widows, widowers and divorcees, and not Generation X folks who have never been married.
My experiences with singles organizations are that for now on if I see the word “single” in a name, I usually avoid it. As elmwood said, most people in those groups tend to be retiree age, around 6o or so. Also, the younger people who do occasionally show up tend to be VERY odd and lack social skills, or quickly move on to other things. You get the person who just wants to “score”. Also, you tend to get the “desparate” type who just wants to get married, have kids, whatever, rather than someone just looking to have some fun and try something new and if something happens, then it is a bonus. And finally when you tack on the word singles you can get the “stalker” type as well. (The one singles group I found that I feel is worth belonging to is a singles Toastmasters group. For those who do not know Toastmasters is a group where you can work and practice public speaking skills. I originally went because I was new to town and needed to get out, but also wanted to improve my speaking skills. This group has a nice variety of ages and ethnicities. I don’t want to sound like a commercial but here is the main web address. http://www.toastmasters.org )
About a year ago we had someone come to the meetings who would get the names off the guest list and call them or show up at their work and demand to see them. He scared off many women and had to be banned from the club. I still see him at other events and hear he has not changed.
My advice primarily try other groups, I belong to bicycling, inline skating, Houston Church of Freethought (atheist/agnostic group) and other such groups. They usually have a mix of marrieds, dating and singles, but the focus is the activity, not picking someone up. Try a couple of singles groups to see what they are like but mainly do something to get out there and ciculate. (You have to circulate to perculate)
hope this helps
oop, I know I am getting long winded but wanted to add,
1.dance lessons, most times you don’t need a partner and can meet many people
2.Volunteer for an arts organization such as an orchestra, theater, museum. Usually they have a good mix as well and generally a better type of people (not to sound elitist)but less nut-cases. In my experience anyway.
No personal experience with them, but share a dubious attitude about who you could meet. Then again, I’m just a pessimist, and I’d be thrilled I was proved wrong. I wish there were better ways for single people to meet and get to know one another.
I’d be looking for co-ed book clubs (check your local bookstore or library). Or a service organization oriented towards younger people or professional singles (as opposed to the one that seem to be geared towards retirees). I know there is one in our town. I’d never heard of it until I saw it listed in our City Guide. Sorta along the lines of what Zaps said.
The dance lessons suggestion is quite a good idea. I know one of our local bars (country, yipes) has line dancing lessons on certain nights before the crowd comes in. I went once at the behest of a date, and it was a very fun, low-pressure, non-bar-like atmosphere. If country is not your thing, there are a lot of other options (salsa, hip-hop, swing, ballroom). Our local university has a couple of clubs for these things, and their practices are open to anyone in the community with an interest.