George Carlin talked about how cold hearted it was to pull someone out of your address book as soon as he dropped dead. But, eventually, well, facts are facts… So, George would give them 6 weeks.
Seems about right to me. If there’s anyone around who is remotely sad at my passing, you can have 6 weeks. Then, hey, facts are facts. Time to haul my corpse out to the trash & get on with life.
“Died without regrets. You can, too”
Decided to change mine to “But wait, there’s more…”
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A gathering of angels
appeared above my head
The weird thing is, I’m not even that much of a Styx fan. But I’ve been pretty much settled on this line for a couple of decades now.
There’s a great line in Florence + the Machine’s “Ship to Wreck” that someone needs to use for an epitaph, but someone else, since I’ve already got mine:
I can’t help but pull the earth around me
to make my bed
He found himself trying.
(I won’t have a marker, but when my loved ones spread my ashes, I suspect they will share stories that will attest to that assertion. Hopefully on all the levels it might be read.)
I want the stone to say:
“pullin”
“<date> – <later date>”
Below that: “He made the most of the dash.” with an arrow pointing up to it.
I plan to be cremated and has my ashes scattered at my parent’s grave, but if I had to have one, I think I’d chose “He did What He Could”
404 Not Found
Wasn’t planning on having one, but in the spirit of things: Ede, bibe, lude.
Smile
(I just am not into any sadness that can be refused or avoided)
" Hard to believe but there usually was something to what he was trying to say"
Since I doubt we’ll be buried in the same cemetery, you are welcome to use it. I totally thought it up myself, when I was picnicking in a cemetery not far off from a sign that said “no picnicking.” My friend I was with said that was just wrong, and he’d want people to picnic on him. In fact, instead of a headstone, he was going to have a picnic table. I said I thought I’d have a dance floor, because anyone who wanted to dance on my grave was welcome. Then we both agreed that we didn’t want people to spit, even if it would be an eff-you to convention, or whatever, just, “no spitting.” It’s gross.
I have no intention of being buried, but this does give me an idea…
In my will I’ll direct that a standard grave be dug in the family plot and the removed dirt be spread wide around it. An empty, open coffin shall be filled with chains and padlocks before being lowered therein. A memorial stone will be erected with my name and the epitaph:
Houdini was a piker
The best I can hope for is “He was an asshole, but he was a funny asshole.”
Whadda YOU lookin’ at?
Get off me, ya mook!
“I did not take that Flintstone vitamin, and I did not quit my job because Deana told me to.” Make 'em wonder. 
On the other hand, “No spitting” is pretty snappy.
My favorite line from (the River) Styx: And Lord, I’ll try the best that I can to carry on.
It’s too long, but I like Robert Louis Stevenson’s epitaph-
Regards,
Shodan
I had a fond musing of
As you push off from the shore
Won’t you turn your head once more
And make your peace with everyone
For those who chose to stay
Will live just one more day
To do the things they should have done
But would be satisfied with “Did you notice? I bet you didn’t.”
“Be right back”
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