Too bad. You get Manchovy.
Just wanted to let you know this didn’t go by unnoticed. 
I’m only half joking here: I hope it was one of the cheap, restaurant owned kitchen knives, and not one of the chef’s personal knives! Of course, any knife will clean, but can you imagine picking up your $500 Wusthoff and seeing THAT play over and over again in your mind’s eye?
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
It would make an interesting insurance claim.
The knife was rendered useless?
Yes, that is correct.
How so?
Well a crazy man snatched it from the kitchen and cut off his penis with it.
Does it still cut?
Well, yes it does, but I can’t use it.
Why not, you can just wash it.
Ok, I’ll make you a sandwich with it, and you eat it.
Ummm… we’ll pay for to replace it sir.
I am, in all honesty, still debating with myself about this.
(I really like my knives.)
I’ll have the pepperoni please. I prefer penis that is still attatched to the original, preferably not insane, owner.
But if he’s still got the ability to produce sperm, then they could be acquired and a test tube baby made. I think it’s more of an “honorable mention” award myself.
ETA: Yes, Whynot, I would. I might use the technique Zebra mentions to get a tax write off for a replacement though.
Hells no! It would go up on my wall - with a sign!
Er, I mean insurance write off. Dratted allergies, this Sudafed is knocking me out. 
Indeed. That joke was a cut above the rest.
CMPOL
.
If he’d been a real man he’d have done this at Benihanas and made a smoking manmeat volcano.
That’s what you get for buying those overpriced “premium” knives. :rolleyes:
If the knife in question had been from the Miracle Blade III Perfection Series, or even the Showtime collection by Ronco, not only would the owner have saved over $400, the knife would still have sliced cleanly through a tomato afterwards!
“You could even cut your own penis off with it…but you wouldn’t want to!” [/smarmy infomercial guy]
“Waiter? Check please!”
True enough. He would have to have brought the knife down a little lower to finish the job.
Then we could add meatballs to that pizza.
Such unfortunate choices of words.
I have never heard “zizi” used as slang for vagina… here in Quebec, it would be understood to mean penis.
Which is exactly why I cracked up when I saw the picture of the restaurant in the first link.
Cutting My Penis Off Laughing?
:eek:
I think his hangover has been permanently reduced.