[QUOTE=lieu]
I said I wanted some Pecorino on my pizza!
[/QUOTE]
Too bad. You get Manchovy.
[QUOTE=jjimm]
Penis un-sewed.
[/QUOTE]
Just wanted to let you know this didn’t go by unnoticed. 
I’m only half joking here: I hope it was one of the cheap, restaurant owned kitchen knives, and not one of the chef’s personal knives! Of course, any knife will clean, but can you imagine picking up your $500 Wusthoff and seeing THAT play over and over again in your mind’s eye?
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
It would make an interesting insurance claim.
The knife was rendered useless?
Yes, that is correct.
How so?
Well a crazy man snatched it from the kitchen and cut off his penis with it.
Does it still cut?
Well, yes it does, but I can’t use it.
Why not, you can just wash it.
Ok, I’ll make you a sandwich with it, and you eat it.
Ummm… we’ll pay for to replace it sir.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
[/QUOTE]
I am, in all honesty, still debating with myself about this.
(I really like my knives.)
I’ll have the pepperoni please. I prefer penis that is still attatched to the original, preferably not insane, owner.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
[/QUOTE]
Wow, you really can wusthoff a 5 inch boner.
[QUOTE=Mindfield]
Which technically qualifies him for a rare living Darwin Award.
He’ll probably be committed to a psych hospital after he recovers. I wonder what they’ll do with him on pizza day…
[/QUOTE]
But if he’s still got the ability to produce sperm, then they could be acquired and a test tube baby made. I think it’s more of an “honorable mention” award myself.
ETA: Yes, Whynot, I would. I might use the technique Zebra mentions to get a tax write off for a replacement though.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
[/QUOTE]
Hells no! It would go up on my wall - with a sign!
[QUOTE=Zabali_Clawbane]
I might use the technique Zebra mentions to get a tax write off for a replacement though.
[/QUOTE]
Er, I mean insurance write off. Dratted allergies, this Sudafed is knocking me out. 
[QUOTE=featherlou]
[QUOTE=jjimm]
Penis un-sewed.
[/QUOTE]
Just wanted to let you know this didn’t go by unnoticed.
[/QUOTE]
Indeed. That joke was a cut above the rest.
CMPOL
.
If he’d been a real man he’d have done this at Benihanas and made a smoking manmeat volcano.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I’m only half joking here: I hope it was one of the cheap, restaurant owned kitchen knives, and not one of the chef’s personal knives! Of course, any knife will clean, but can you imagine picking up your $500 Wusthoff and seeing THAT play over and over again in your mind’s eye?
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself?
[/QUOTE]
That’s what you get for buying those overpriced “premium” knives. :rolleyes:
If the knife in question had been from the Miracle Blade III Perfection Series, or even the Showtime collection by Ronco, not only would the owner have saved over $400, the knife would still have sliced cleanly through a tomato afterwards!
“You could even cut your own penis off with it…but you wouldn’t want to!” [/smarmy infomercial guy]
“Waiter? Check please!”
[QUOTE=Zabali_Clawbane]
But if he’s still got the ability to produce sperm, then they could be acquired and a test tube baby made. I think it’s more of an “honorable mention” award myself.
[/quote]
True enough. He would have to have brought the knife down a little lower to finish the job.
Then we could add meatballs to that pizza.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it
[/QUOTE]
Such unfortunate choices of words.
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
Since zizi (only two z’s) is French babytalk for vagina, maybe he had sexual reassignment in mind.
Of course, had he been in West Bend, WI, he might have selected Dick’s Pizza…or in the Lake Tahoe area, any of several Nik’n’ Willie’s Pizza locations in which to nick his willy.
[/QUOTE]
I have never heard “zizi” used as slang for vagina… here in Quebec, it would be understood to mean penis.
Which is exactly why I cracked up when I saw the picture of the restaurant in the first link.
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy]
CMPOL
.
[/QUOTE]
Cutting My Penis Off Laughing?
:eek:
[QUOTE=Montgomery0]
I’m thinking he’s going to be real upset when the hangover wears off.
[/QUOTE]
I think his hangover has been permanently reduced.