Man bursts into Pizza restaurant in London and cuts his own dick off.
Was he protesting the lack of variety in toppings?
I’m thinking he’s going to be real upset when the hangover wears off.
talk about a case of “penis ensued”
I hate it when that happens. Here in the States, we solved the problem of random talley whackers ruining our evenings by instituting the glorious system of home and office delivery of our pizzas.
Within this wonderful system, all the gross things that go on and around our pizzas happen before we ever see the pizza. That way, we can eat our blood and fecal matter topped pies with peace of mind.
You Englisher guys are so uncivilised.
It’s gonna be girlfriend/wife rejection, isn’t it? It usually is.
Big sausage pizza, indeed.
Might it have been a promotional stunt for the new coq au vin pizza.
(Or should that actually be coq au sang?)
The guy was Polish, so presumably that would be “one pizza with kielbasa - to go!”
I think they need to surgically re-attach an anchovy and two pineapples.
The thing that cracks me up most about the story is that “Zizzi” (the name of the restaurant) is French childrens’ slang for penis (kind of like wee-wee in English). I wonder if that’s why he chose that location?
The BBC article suggests the surgeons were unable to reattach.
Unanswered Questions Department: Was he shallow, or deep dish?
Penis un-sewed.
Which technically qualifies him for a rare living Darwin Award.
He’ll probably be committed to a psych hospital after he recovers. I wonder what they’ll do with him on pizza day…
Step one: Cut off my own penis
Step two: Not really sure about this part
Step three: BIG PROFIT!
He’s in the UK. Serve him spotted dick.
Aha variation of the Bobbett plan.
No, no, that’s Pecorino! I said I wanted some Pecorino on my pizza!
Perhaps he thought they could upsize him?
Since zizi (only two z’s) is French babytalk for vagina, maybe he had sexual reassignment in mind.
Of course, had he been in West Bend, WI, he might have selected Dick’s Pizza…or in the Lake Tahoe area, any of several Nik’n’ Willie’s Pizza locations in which to nick his willy.