"What does a yellow light mean?" - The TAXI quote thread

Post your favorite quote from TAXI. Some of mine, probably all slight mis-quotes:

“That was beautiful. When Ma goes, would you do the same for her? I mean, you won’t even need to change the words much.”

“No. Now it is time for you to kiss my yaktabe!”

“Everybody in here’s something else. Me, I’m a cab driver.”

I think your thread title is mine. "What…does…a…yelow…light…mean?

Altogether now
SLOWER!

“Nardo’s got knobs”

[nitpick]IIRC, It was, “Slow Down”[/nitpick]

“Now peel me like a grape so I can get out of here.”

“You put up with a few inconveniences when you live in a condemned building.” ~ Reverend Jim Ignatowski

(Alex playing Elaine’s fictional boyfriend, “Bill Board”)

Elaine’s friend: “That’s an interesting name: Bill Board”

Alex: "It’s better than my brothers’ names - ‘clip’ and ‘switch’ "

Elaine takes exception to Latka’s theory that Simka’s behavior is due to the “krimpkaputch”

“I’VE BEEN KRIMKPAPUTCHING SINCE I WAS 14!!!”

Alex Rieger: I’m going to die as I’ve lived, wearing a green shirt, a catcher’s mask, and dancing the can can

Jim and Elaine at a fancy dinner party, in an elevator (or foyer?) with a posh, rich elderly woman.

Woman: “Wonderful, we’re having squab for dinner. How does that sound?”

Jim: “erm…‘cooo’, ‘cooo’”

So I’m paraphrasing a bit, it’s been awhile

What a great show Taxi was…

Christopher Lloyd’s delivery of the “yellow-light” line was perfect. He does the first three words (“What does a…”) and then he looks down at the paper before he continues. Every time. This is absolute genius. Even the fourth time he asks the question he needs to look at the test to remember what he’s asking about.

A lot of great moments on that show. On the one where Elaine took Jim to the fancy dinner party, the audience laughed so hard that they ran long and had to cut one of the best lines.

“Do you think he’ll notice?”
Remember that one?

Man I wish I had TV land. Say did Tony ever say anything memorable?

When the owner’s wife chose Louie to screw because she was mad at her husband. Louie fights her off until she says how the husband always talks about how he despises Louie.

“Then I’ll have his wife!”

Then he is flying threw the air onto that huge bed.
They are not quotes, but I always crack up when I think of them.

Jim had the horse in his apartment, and someone asked him what the horses name was.

“Gary”

I think that is hilarious.

And Louie standing at the juke box playing “Feelings” over and over because he is depressed. And he sings along with it and singing “Woah, woah, woah…”

Great show.

“Oh the hell with it” (Anybody remember that one)

Elaine brought Jim to a fancy party, he sat down at the piano and began to embarass her by attemting to pound out chopsticks, Mary Had A Little Lamb etc, just as she was getting REALLY fed up with him he said “Oh the hell with it” and played a great classical piece, although I have no idea what it was

Fantasy Impromptu by Chopin.

I haven’t seen this in 20 years, it was longer than this.
After Elaine’s boyfriend hits on Tony:

Tony: Latka, where’s Alex. I have a problem.
Latka: Everyone always goes to Alex with their problem. Why can’t you talk to me about it.
Tony: OK, Latka, do you know anything about bisexuals.
Latka: Yes, they are very popular in my country.
Tony: What?
Latka: Yes, everyone likes to ride them. Sometimes we’ll take them out and race them.
Tony: I’m talking about bisexuals, not bicycles!

There’s a scene with, I think Victor Buono as Jim’s father. Jim and he exchange a tender moment at the very end of an episode by shouting from a window. Ring any bells? I can’t remember what was said but I remember loving it.

This was the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread, as Jim has a great line right after that (IIRC):

Jim plays the classical piece wonderfully and when he’s done, looks a little confused and says (paraphrasing), “I guess I must have had lessons somewhere.”

My favorite Reverend Jim moment was when Alex was thinking about visiting his mother.

Alex: She lives in Bermuda.
Tony: Is it a big place?
Jim: Uh, six hundred thousand and four square miles!
(Alex and Tony look surprised)
Tony: How far away is it?
Alex: I’m not sure.
Jim: three thousand, four hundred miles from right here.
Alex: Jim, that’s astonishing! How did you know that?
Jim: WHOA! You mean I’m RIGHT!?
(Jim walks away shaking his head)

Something like that.

One of my favorite scenes is when Elaine is dating Arnie, an unattractive over-eager, yet likeable fellow (played by Wallace Shawn). He is attempting to impress her kids so that Elaine will like him.

Arnie: So do you kids like balloon animals?
Kids: Yay!!
(Arnie attempts to blow up one of the balloons, but can’t get any air into it. He struggles with it for a minute before giving up and says…)
Arnie: Look a snake!
Kids: Yay!!