“As a person” is an expression I’ve heard a few times. It’s usually in the context of “being interested in someone as a person” or “connecting with someone as a person” or “talking to someone as a person”. The “as a person” part leaves me puzzled because it seems like it’s the sort of expression that could mean many things to many people.
So, what does it mean to you?
Not as a romantic possibility.
It means I’m not interested in someone because they have money, or stuff I like, or because they do something that impresses me (like maybe they have a high powered job or cured cancer once). Or because they are attractive. I’ve been interested in people for all sorts of reasons and those are some of them.
If I’m interested in someone “as a person,” it’s because of who they are: they’re funny or smart, or nice, or polite, or bitingly sarcastic, or they rescue puppies and help little old ladies cross the street. I’m interested in their personality – who they are as a person – not in external trappings that don’t tell me anything about their character.
To me it means beyond just physical attraction.
Context is important. It could mean “Not as a customer/investor/boss/employee/coworker/client/doctor/mother-in-law or whatever other business or defined social role the person is acting in”.
“I like Larry as a person, but it drives me crazy that I have to correct his TPS reports every single time!”
Or it could mean “Without getting down and dirty with them”.
Interesting to me that responses jumped right into romantic/nonromantic classification.
When I hear “as a person” I think of “thinking of this person as just another human being, rather than specific to the role they play relative to my relationship with them”, exactly as described by Quercus.
Fred is really hard to work with even though I like him as a person.
I am changing doctors because I like my doctor as a person but I don’t have much confidence in his medical knowledge.
I go to this restaurant because the food is good, even though as a person the head chef is an asshole.
In addition, is it reprehensible not to talk/connect/treat/be interested in someone as a person?
When someone doesn’t talk/connect/treat/have interested in you as a person, are you offended or have a negative reaction?
If they’re trying to get in my pants or have some other meaningful sort of interaction, yes. Otherwise, generally not. I don’t need a deep personal relationship with coworkers or clients or people I hire to do stuff, I just need the job done.
That’s the thing. When someone is interested in you “as a person”, they are asking you shit about you, your family or whatever because they are genuinely interested in you. I find it extremely offputting when a sales person or marketing rep acts overly familiar or interested in my personal shit. I’m not interested in them as “a person” because I don’t see them as one. I see them as the face of whatever corporate interest they represent. I expect them to see me in the same way. IOW, don’t try to get my business by trying to become my “friend”. We do business first and THEN over time we may naturally become friends if there is some mutual connection. Or we can just keep our shit about work.
It means they want you to think they are not shallow individuals and they intend to wait until the second time they meet before having sex.