To those who have had there ways with the opposite sex, what does it feel like to have sex? Both sexes can comment on how it feels, but I’m more interested in what it feels like for a Man.
And, please don’t say it feels like ‘warm American pie’ 
That’s warm apple pie. Sheesh. No wonder you can’t get laid. 
I was going to reply, but it seems it’s been so long that I’ve forgotton…
What were we talking about again?
oh Ryan sweety…
come into chat, we’ll tell ya all about it there.
It feels like jacking off only better and more intense.
If your personality is in any way reflective of your posting habits, it’s very probable that you’ll never find out, Ryan.
Are you serious? Okay, well . . .
A long warm moist caress that feels good and keeps getting better and better and better until . . . an explosion of intense pleasure that starts in your genitals and spreads in tingley waves through your entire body.
Initially, though, it feels a lot like . . .
Oh. Never mind.
what? I thought I’d get more replies than this 
When done properly, it feels like that thing that was always missing from your life before; it feels like a hug from God (or insert deity of your choice).
When done improperly, it doesn’t feel quite so transcendent as all that, but it’s still better than a poke in the eye with a used hypodermic needle. Usually.
Odd story…
When he was young, a friend of mine asked his mother what sex felt like. She told him it felt like a sneeze.
His whole life, every time he orgasms, he sneezes.
To actually answer your question, think about the best movie you have ever seen. Now, imagine someone asks you, “What was that movie like?”
You can describe the plot, the characters, the special effects until you’re blue in the face. You can imitate the sound effects, hum the sound track, and demonstrate the fight coreography. And you’ll never be able to give a description that comes anywhere close to the actual film itself.
Eventually, you’ll find out. Meantime, why ask for spoilers?
Why not?
I know what sex feels like, but I have no idea what ‘sex’ feels like.
Purchase cantaloupe. Take it home. Drill hole of appropriate girth and depth in cantaloupe. Carefully smooth rind at edges of hole so as to avoid abrasion. Place cantaloupe in microwave. Heat until melon flesh approaches body temperature. Remove cantaloupe from microwave. Have fun.
(Note: I am a woman. A male friend described this method to me. He claimed to enjoy the practice, saying it produced a more true-to-life sex simulation than did traditional masturbation. Your milage may vary.)
I’m still waiting for the missing part of this OP.
You know;
(Nudge, nudge) Say no more…
In the morning it feels like… napalm.
Juniper, I wonder if watermelon would work for the dangerously endowed. Perhaps the seeds would complicate things, though.
Juniper200: Never eat a fruit salad your friend makes.
Why not ask for spoilers?
Because, as I tried to make clear earlier, there is no way to describe the experience accurately. So, anything anyone tells you about it will be wrong.
The really sad thing is, Ryan_Liam is 44 years old.
Particularly if it appears to have mayo or other ‘dressing’ in it.