NE Texas here. Scenery: pine trees, cows, and oilfields. Lots of oilfields. And some pine trees. And a helluva lot of oilfields…
Texas? Flat as a pancake and in dire need of syrup. Cows and cotton are the major crops, because no other animal is stupid enough to want to live there, including the boll weevil. Climate is too damp on one side and too dry on the other.
Texans? Blowhardinous, braindead, goat-sucking, Stan-worshipping (not Satan-worshipping, Stan-worshipping), booger-eating losers. They hire people from New Mexico to drive over to tie their cowboy boots for them. Boots have no laces. NMers have an economy resting on these folks ignorance. Texans can’t drive, except to hit you. They’ve never done a decent day’s work, because they don’t have any decent days. The taxes are low because no one can afford them, except for the likes of the Bushes, Perot, Trammel Crow, Clayton Williams, that sort, and they ain’t ever gonna pay no taxes. The main industry is theft to afford the lottery tickets or get elected President, and murder, so they can be put to death and not live in Texas anymore!
Me? Oklahoma!
Really, Texas is in a good state. Plenty of money and a largely hands-off government will do that. But the Bajeño attitude does tend to run toward arrogance as a result and needs to be taken down a peg every once in a while. Nice story, Orca Chow, one to remember…
Hate hate hate hate hate. I hate everyone I’ve ever met that was from Texas. First of all, everyone from there tends to remind everyone they’re Texans in every sentence. And they’re all ignorant blowhards. (Note: this is people I have met personally. No offense to Texan Dopers, who I’m sure are a nice lot.)
I’m from GA, which isn’t too good itself.
Sorry to double post, but Ann Richards was the governor from 1991-1995. She gave a keynote speech at the 1988 Democratic National Convention and said that George H.W. Bush was “born with a silver foot in his mouth.” Therefore, she’s officially cool.
Molly Ivins is Texan too, so I guess all of them aren’t bad.
Oh yeah, because insulting someone makes you cool. :rolleyes:
Uhm…CalMeacham…
Molly is kewl.
Grace, Spoke, thanks for the info! I’ll check out LONE STAR when I get a chance. One of the most useful things my history teacher in second grade ever did was acquaint us with the fact that perhaps 1/3 of cowboys were black or Mexican. So, the heritage down there belongs to everybody, although pop culture sure seems to almost always put a white face under that Stetson.
Oh yeah, I also think of cheerleaders and big hair and women who go to church every Sunday yet, as Marge Simpson once said, seem to set the make-up level at “whore”.
I know. 
I had no idea, or I would have been there. I will be watching for the next one, for sure. I would certainly be nice to put a face with the names of all these nice people. 
Hey, Meephead, I grew up in Hurst, just down the freeway from you.
Went to college in Houston and am now in grad school in Los Angeles. My opinion, which will likely be branded heretical by some, is thus:
Life in urban/suburban Texas (especially Houston) is different only in fairly trivial ways from life in Los Angeles. The (not entirely unfounded) stereotypes are, of course, quite distinct. When you get right down to it, though, the general lifestyle is pretty much the same.
I like Texas, and certainly don’t consider it to be the bizarre backwater place that many seem to.
See my sig…
Lone Star- is this the movie based on T.R. Fehrenbach’s book? The book is a pretty good history and a really good read. Fehrenbach does a good job of telling the story from an Anglo perspective while still getting the facts right and being fair to everyone.
FWIW, it was recommended to me by a case worker at our department of health*. She moved here to get the job, and her supervisor recommended it as a way to get familiar with the people of the state.
*[sub]Sentence number four, I guess they were right…[/sub]
My sister and her family lived in Texas for a couple of years. When I called her on the phone, she always complained about the heat. When they moved back to California, I flew out there to ride along w/ the Bro-in-law in the U-Haul truck.
We stopped for a couple of meals in Texas. I was shocked by the amount of smoke. I swear to God, in one diner, the waitress came to the table with a cig dangling from lips. I’ve been in poker games with less smoke. It was disgusting.
Still, the Reverend Horton Heat is from Texas, so it can’t be all bad.
(born in Ohio, live in Los Angeles)
I have a friend who just moved back to Texas. She complained that in Pa girls and women just didn’t wear make-up and do up their hair every day like they should.
“I may die a real old lady but I’ll never call Texas my home” – Janis Joplin
Well just check MPSIMS every once in awhile because we seem to have them pretty frequently.
After living in Chicago for 7 years and Indianapolis for about 3 years, I was forced to move to this horid state. Thank the Lord I’m leaving in a month! I think Texas is a state of pure bull. The people think it’s the greatest place on earth, but they have never seen anywhere else. Of the majority of people that I know, none of them have lived outside of Texass, and some have never even visted outside this state, so how can they say it’s the best place on Earth? The ego is the biggest problem. Next is the whole Southern/Confederate thing: Hello! You lost the war! Why do you keep bringing it up? Don’t you realize that IF the South ever tried to “rise again” that we’d be their to kick your ass back down? Stop waving your damn confederate flag all over the place, and for heaven’s sake it was the “Civil War” not the damn “War between the States”. But what’s worse than Texas is Texas A&M the university where you go to study how to be a down home, redneck, beer drinking, farmer. If I went on about A&M anymore this would be sent to the Pit and their would be a big hole in my moniter. I have my thoughts on Bush too, but I know their are tons of other threads for that. But to sum up Bush, Houston’s air is full of polution (#1 in the US). And HISD Super intendents force teachers to change grades to passing, and fix attendence records, just so the school doesn’t get in the deep shit that it deserves.
Football–The Texan’s religion. Their is nothing more important that football in Texas. It’s an obsession.
I can go on, but I think I better calm down before I hurt someone. I guess it’s funny that people are actually proud of this shit hole.
A joke:
A Texan had died, and he was so big they couldn’t find a coffin large enough to contain him. People remarked that that’s how it was in Texas, everything there was bigger than anywhere else. No one could find a way out of this quandary until an enterprising Easterner thought to administer an enema, and they were able to bury the Texan in a shoebox.
Just kidding, folks!
Gee, cykrider. Sorry to hear that you hate us so much.
When can I come over and help you pack your bags?
I’m from Oklahoma orginally, but my family moved to Texas (Dallas area) when I was 11. I was a little disappointed then that it wasn’t like it was in all the TV shows and movies. Dallas is VERY multicultural - the first day after we moved we had to go shopping (some stuff got left behind) and me and my parents noticed that hardly anybody was speaking English, it was like being in a different country - of course, a lot of that had to do with the neighborhood we were in. I like it here a lot, though it gets tiring correcting people’s misconceptions about this state.
One of the greatest things about Texas is the cheap and abundant pot. 9 gram ‘quarters’ for $25 - sigh…
I’ll help. Also in Texas we don’t say “don’t let the door hit you on the rear on your way out” because that would be a complete waste of the pointy cowboy boots we wear.
Goddess bless Texas!