DANGNABBIT! Oakminster you beat me to it with the first four.
And I totally agree with you on the others.
If you ever make it down to the ATL I will stand you a beer or three.
Frasier and Niles Crane would provide some enlightening Cafe Society and GQ/GD discussions. Of course the real fun would come when they leave the computer on in Martin’s vicinity and he ends up winning us over with his appreciation of the simpler things.
Daphne’s psychic stuff could also rise to the same entertainment level of cattle mutes.
John Doe from the TV Series John Doe.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320038/
All the episodes are available on Hulu.
Of course he would kill any thread where there was an actual factual answer.
Dr. Gregory House
The Big Bang Theory, right?
(I don’t watch TV. I just hear about it).
I think he’d be “great” as in he’d fit right in.
On that note I’d nominate Adrian Monk.
Certainly would have the patronizing thing down.
Boring Dark Willow ends far worse.
The inevitable pit thread and flame out that would happen after one of them took issue with the other’s post would be entertaining, as well.
Shrinkman’s comments regarding the rendition of O Mimì, tu più non torni in last nights production of La Bohème are simply deluded.
Ahem, Delusional.
badchad was banned years ago.
At least when she’s bored, she stops torturing you. Admittedly she goes straight to the murder part of the evening’s exercise, but it’s not like you were going to escape or overpower her in the first place.
Oh, that would be golden.
I’d love to see Maris Crane post on beauty standards, relationship threads, and social issues. A good flame war can be cathartic, after all.
Fair point. There’s always the chance that someone else might come by and rescue you while you’re being tortured, though - I’d rather endure a few more minutes of agony, if there’s a chance that might let me survive the day.
Some of our members do a pretty good impersonation. 
Willow has many faults, but she’s no fool. If she’s torturing you for yuks, she’s clearly gone dark, and if she’s gone dark she’s probably murdered Giles, Buffy, Faith, all the junior Slayers, and maybe Angel to be safe. You ain’t getting rescued.
ETA: Probably all those ifs should really be whens. It’s just a matter of time. 
Sherlock Holmes.
We’d keep him off the needle, between cases.
Mycroft Holmes
Peter Venkman, probably.