Earlier today I got up and peeled a banana. I found the peel in my trash can, so I know this part is true. I have no recollection of actually eating the banana; I think I may have sat it down and went to the bathroom or something. Some time later I got to looking for my banana to no avail.
I have torn my apartment apart looking for the banana. It’s not anywhere you’d expect a banana to be. It’s not in the trash. It’s not laying under anything. It’s not in my sheets. It’s not in my kitchen. I even questioned my roommate about the whereabouts of my banana, thinking maybe he’d seen it, gone “Oh yummy banana!” and nommed it. He denies ever seeing any banana.
Now my two options appear to be:
I ate the banana and somehow completely forgot about it minutes later
I’m delirious and hid the banana from myself somewhere very strange
Clearly, there WAS a banana. I found the peel in the trash. I’m honestly hoping at this point that my roommate was lying and that he did devour my banana, because the only other possibilities are terrifying.
I’m going to go with roommate, too, based on Occam’s Razor. Maybe you ate it while your attention was completely occupied with something else - I have on numerous occasions either forgotten the last bites of my food or been surprised that it was all gone because I was eating while doing something else.
I had the same thing happen to me with half a tuna fish sandwich. You would think that, if anything would make its presence known, freakin’ tuna fish would do so. Nope, never ever heard or saw or smelt it. As far as I know, it is … Still out there somewhere!
Do you always peel the entire banana before eating it? This struck me as odd; unless I’m cutting it up for a sandwich/mashing it up for tasty banana bread/about to lop it into the blender for a tasty smoothie, Mr. Banana is always disrobed slowly. Do you normally strip Mr. Banana fully nekkid before eating? He would be that much harder (sorry) to set down somewhere.
Much more convenient to leave the skin on, peeling it downward as you eat. This suggests that Mr. Banana was eaten in the usual way.
Do you remember peeling Mr. Banana? Could the peel be from yesterday?
Finally, perhaps a tooth-flossing could turn up a bit of evidence.
I apologize in advance for the whackness of this post. It’s 4:38am, and I’m clearly still pretty jet-lagged, with nothing better to do than ask odd questions about your banana.
Does your mouth taste like banana? Are there any banana strings on your clothes?
I have often forgotten that I ate a banana I had just peeled (sometimes I peel them all the way before eating because I plan on eating it somewhere where I don’t have access to a trash can, or if I’m putting it on my plate with other food). It seems to happen more with bananas than with other fruit.
You’re right! And I’d be the first one to man up and take credit for my low-brow posts–but I honestly only thought the ‘harder’ comment was dipping its toe into the fetid waters of double entendres. But rereading it now, damn!
