If you wake to find corn flakes and milk on you and the banana stuck in your ass, you have been another victim of the “cereal rapist”. 
So both your boyfriend and your banana have disappeared? Now, that’s strange…(unless they’re one and the same)
Do you eat bananas all the time? I know that, if it’s something I do all the time, I can forget I’ve done something. For example, I’ll not know if I’ve taken my medicine (so now I keep it keep a week’s worth in a bottle at a time, so I can easily count.) I also will be half way through a shower, and realize that, while I remember getting in the tub, I don’t remember actually turning the shower on.
In my office I have a coffee maker that makes one cup at a time. very often I will go to make a cup and find the cup’s full of ice cold coffee that I made hours ago and forgot about, gone to take a swig of coffee from an empty cup, or found a nice hot cup of coffee with no knowledge of making it. so either my coffee maker’s trying to slowly drive me mad or my short term memory is crapola.
Have you found a cheque clipped to a photograph of you and the banana, both bearing the logo of the Suggestive Modelling Agency?
In Soviet Russia, bananas peel YOU!
You could have eaten it. I’ve eaten a banana a day for (mumble) years, and each banana-consuming session is astonishingly like the next banana-consuming session, day after day after day. I certainly don’t remember, ‘my, that was a delicious banana I ate this morning’. There’s the peel in the trashcan, and I don’t remember peeling the thing, either.
So let me get this straight.
You peeled a banana
You sat down
You couldn’t find the banana
I think I might know where it went.
Obviously **Mangetout **ate it and is trying to deflect suspicion. Too bad his name gave him away!
And now it thinks it’s a salami?
Someone broke into your home and all they took was your banana? Weird!
I arrived home one day in early December to find all the doors and windows open, and everything had been taken. That was my advent calendar, and I was looking forward to those chocolate figures!
Don’t worry, I sometimes go to sleep, wake up and somehow forget I was sleeping
So, this morning - I went into the kitchen and found a naked banana on the counter.
Anyone have any ideas where it came from?
ROTFLOL!
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there!
Oh come on folks. This is obviously another case of the chloroform banana bandits.
Clearly, someone wants to see you perform a pratfall.
Someone who thinks you walk in your trash can.
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana”?
Thank you! Tip your waitress!
Speaking as a semi-professional food-thief, I find it inexcusable that the perp forgot to take the peel with him. I can only assure you that this WILL come up at the next meeting…failing to compost could create a larger than necessary karma-imbalance…
Anyway, you can relax for now, we RARELY hit the same person twice.
Bandit name!