What He Said/What He Meant

I work in tech support.

What he said: On my Mac, I have both Windows and Apple.
What he meant: On my Mac, I have both IE and Safari.

That one took me a while to figure out. At first I thought he meant he was running Virtual PC or something.

True story:
Sunday School class get together. We’re playing Catchphrase - men vs. women. A woman gets passed the word/ phrase generator.
She shows it to her husband and says, “I don’t know that this is.” He tells her he can’t help as he’s on the opposing team. He says, “Just do the best the you can”
She gives the clue, “I think it’s a hockey award”
I shout out, “America’s Cup!”
She says, “Right!” and passes the word/ phrase generator to the man next to her.
The entire roomful of men say, “What!?!” as the timer goes off and we win the round.

(Our local pro hockey team had won the Stanley Cup less than two weeks before)