We’ve all had moment when somebody near us says something so bizarre (in or out of context) that it you have to mentally repeat it to sift for meaning. I’ve heard a few over the past couple days.
“It’s not sexual harassment. See how I gyrate my hips.”
“You know, it must be really hard to pick up chicks when you have the Black Death.”
“I can just picture that lobster sitting on the pile of charred rubble, laughing at us.”
I can’t think of any right this moment, but your last few days sound damn interesting!
See here for numerous examples. 
Me, in my mid fifties, half listening while I mix drinks.
Her, in her early fifties, (we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks): “I think I’m pregnant.”
Me: Oh yeah… Wait, what did you just say?"
(She wasn’t, but I added a few gray hairs.)
I have a couple:
In response to the the question “What did you do last night?”
“I hung out with the Blue Man Group and got wasted. Damn , those guys can drink .”
And on another occasion:
“NO NO no! I’m the top! I’m the pitcher, and YOU’RE THE CATCHER!”
Overheard at the sushi bar:
Middle-aged woman: “I spent the whole day getting worn out by a bunch of 17-year olds.”
I wasn’t near it,but I saw Vanilla Ice on tv defending his use of Under Pressure in one of his songs by saying;
“It’s not the same, **Queen’s ** song goes: dum dum dum de de de dum.Mine goes: dum dum dum de DI de dum…It’s not the same.”
The best (and still a running joke at our house) was one night at Wal-Mart I kept pointing out mannequin boobies to my son. He had mentioned earlier (he is 7, BTW) that he likes “women with big boobies” because he likes to look at them. So, my son is a boobman, go figure! My 14 yo daughter was getting annoyed with me, and asked me to stop pointing out all the boobies and I turned to her and said “Why? There’s nothing better than boobies!” with a big grin on my face. We both noticed a guy walking past, stop, turn around and stare mouth agape at me. We both started giggling and ever since can’t help but blurt out “there’s nothing better than boobies” at very inappropriate times in public…
Conversation around the table came to a natural lull, immediately before someone said "… and there were pubes in the vaseline … "
Hmm. Which one?
:rolleyes:
One night at our school pub, a British friend of mine and I were talking about the word “panties.” We were with a bunch of guys who were talking about guys stuff (lots of grunting with random sports terms thrown in) so they weren’t listening to our conversation, which went roughly like this:
Friend: Panties sounds so disturbing.
Me: You’re weird. That’s what you call underwear for females. Panties.
Friend: But it’s so wrong! Panties are for little girls. Not for grown women.
Me: Well, what would you call women’s underwear, then?
Friend: Knickers.
Me: Knickers? That’s what grandmothers wear. We wear panties.
Friend: UGH. Stop saying that! It’s SO WRONG!
Me: Don’t be silly. You’re wearing panties right now. Nothing wrong with that.
This is where a natural lull fell in the guys’ conversation.
Friend: I’M NOT WEARING PANTIES!!!
Guys: :eek:
She has yet to live that moment down.
Scene: a fairly boring business meeting. Woman, whose mind seemed to be wandering a bit, blurted out, “You know, I don’t think many people in Europe took vacations during World War Two.”
Silence for two or three seconds.
Man next to her: “Good Lord, woman! What are you thinking about?”
No answer, but I seem to recall that no further business of any consequence was conducted at that meeting.
heh, I’ve done this to other people countless times, I’m sure
one in particular, I was at Disney in the preview room for Tower of Terror.
I had a the time a shirt from that ride, which I did not currently have on, but that me and my family were talking about:
ME: I’m not wearing my shirt!!
everybody else turns… blanks stares.
ME: uh…shit… I mean, I’m wearing a shirt… not the one I was talking about though…