What I do in the shower . Don't read if you don't want to know.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Step 1. Place towel near the tub. I don’t like to loiter in the bathroom naked after a shower just in case someone comes in, ( lock is broken) so I have my clean whitety tightie underwear in there handy too. I am not comfortable with any of the family seeing me completely naked. Well I don’t mind the wife seeing me right before sex every night.

( heh heh just seeing if you were paying attention.)

Step 2. Turn on water ( adjust temperature to almost too hot)

Step 3. Step in

Step 4. Adjust the water again because kids have usually flushed in the other bathroom or wife has turned on the washer.

Step 5. Reach for the shampoo ( I have shampoo with conditioner and regular shampoo. I alternate them every other day.)

Step 6. Lather up my head first secure in the knowledge that dirt flows downhill and then rinse and repeat.

Step 7. Reach for the hand soap. Lather under the arms,

  • you can look away for this part*

then soap up my butt crack and privates. Rinse off privates and then turn around so I am facing away from the shower head and rinse my butt crack.

*Ok you can continue looking now *

Step 8. Turn back around and face the shower head. Stand and let the water run over my head in quiet contemplation for 3 minutes. ( give or take a few seconds)

Step 9. Turn off the water and open the shower door as little as possible ( I don’t like any air on me when wet) snake my arm out of it and retrieve the towel.

Step 10. Dry off my upper manly body in the while still standing in the tub then put one foot on the tub edge and dry it, then step out of the tub and onto the floor with the dry foot. Then turn and face the tub and dry the other foot as it rests on the tub edge. ( This way I can step out of the shower without getting any water on the floor. )

Step 11. Stand with both feet just outside the shower door and finishing drying off. Then pick up the comb look in the mirror and comb through my towel dried hair while checking for new wrinkes or spots on my face. I am almost never disappointed.

Step 12. Brush my teeth rinse then check them out and then shave while still in my underwear. ( never put on shaving cream before brushing your teeth, the foam is so white that it makes your teeth look dingy no matter how white they are.)

step 13. Put on some Mennen skinbracer aftershave $2.98 per bottle( wife won’t let me buy the polo etc.)

Step 14. Blow dry my hair and style it just so. ( add two light squirts of aquanet hair spray all day hold.)

Step 15. Two squirts under each arm of Sauve underarm deodorant.

After one last check in the mirror I congratulate myself on what a devilishly handsome fellow I still am after all these years and…

Then I ready for the poontain!

Errr umm actually no. I am then ready to get dressed and go to work which is the case 99.99% of the time.

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That’s amazing, aha. Really keeping in the spirit of the board, I see. It’s mundane. It’s pointless, yet you felt the need to share. (And I flet the need to read the whole thing.) I noticed you didn’t mention flossing. Don’t you floss?

So when can we look forward to the sequel to this thread - “What you do when taking a dump?”

3

It really sucks washing your butt-crack if you have lotsa hair up there…

4

Thanks Brat. I feel as tho it might be my most mundane and pointless thread yet!
Brat:

Well I will wait on the sequel until the public can stand it no longer. :slight_smile:
Monster:

Now see… you didn’t have to revisit there monster…I mean once a thread is enough.

5

Aha… you truly are the epitome of “mundane” and “pointless”.

Monster, on the other hand, is just a dickhead :smiley:

6

aha will be okay once he loosens up and gets over that morbid self-consciousness.

At least he doesn’t boogie away in the shower, belting out the dah-ta-dah-ta-dah, dah-ta-da etc. chorus to “Western Union”.

::ducks, flees::

Veb

7

Let me get this straight: armpits, privates, buttcrack. That’s it? No arms, legs, feet, back? Saving them for the “week-end special”?:smiley:

8

I thought it was going to be something like the opening scenes of American Beauty. However, you have given us so much more.

I just wanted to point out that you’ve actually described many more events surrounding the shower, not merely what takes place in the shower itself. I hereby move that this thread should be renamed “What I do when I have a shower” OR “What I do before, during, and after a shower”.

Just a little bit of nitpicking for ya.

9

I think I’m blind.

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So when can we look forward to the sequel to this thread - “What you do when taking a
dump?”

You already answered this under the Hershey Squirts subject, I think it was.

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Veb

I have to agree with you, aha is an alright guy. He just needs to get over his shyness and learn to say what he feels.

Hopefully a couple of months of intensive therapy will help his self-esteem and get him to the point where he no longer feels the need to tell people to “look away” when he washes his ass.

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For all those that really looked away when I washed my ass here you go…

( | )

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I would, at this stage, like to place the following comment: Any man that uses a blowdryer is a communist or a fag :smiley:

C’mon, we’re GUYS, for crying out loud. Our hair gets dry by hanging our heads out of the window at 120 km/h.

14

We used to call that the 4-65 blowdryer; roll down all 4 windows, drive 65. It gives that authentic tousled, windblown look. Unless it’s below freezing. Then you have a messy clump of ice on your head.

Veb

15

(How sad is this?) aha, I couldn’t help noticing, before it got a little bit personal, that you never rinsed your armpits. Is there a reason for this?

Jeez, I hope you meant “prequel”… that’s pretty much the first thing you learn about personal hygiene…

16

Coldfire when you are hung like me you can use anything you like. :smiley:

17

Gezz I noticed something was chafing me…

18

ROFLMAO!!!

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It bears repeating.

–Tim

20

Not outside the car windows, aha. Really, trust me on this. Don’t dangle anything outside that you don’t you don’t mind bugs hitting and your local law police seeing.

Sheesh, can’t you just see this guy in a car wash??
Boggles the mind what he does with the hot wax cycle and dancing, dangling scrubber things.

::covers eyes::

Veb