I told her that I needed a million dollars.
She responded that I just wanted to get out of coming to work every day.
I told her that I’d still come in, I just wouldn’t do any work.
And then she said that I’d just be coming in to gloat over being a millionaire.
It’s a good thing my boss has a sense of humor.
If you had a million dollars, you could spend way more time working on your fantasy tv lineup – in between going and gloating at your ex coworkers and stuff.
Be sure to pack yourself a lunch of Kraft mac and cheese and individually wrapped bacon.
But not REAL Kraft mac and cheese, thats cruel.
A bunch of guys in the connected factory at one of my client sites hit the lottery, so we were talking over what we’d do if we hit it rich. Most of the guys were dreaming over the ability to phone the boss, some morning, and tell him, “I’m calling in rich.”
When it came to my turn, I said that I was enjoying my job and that I would still come to work, but that I’d probably develop an attitude–to which the guy in the next cube responded “How would we tell?”.
Pack?! Hell, no. If I had a million dollars, I’d buy lunch. Including one of the ridiculously overpriced candy bars next to the cash register! And the 75 cent oranges! And I’d come back late from lunch!
I’ll beat you next time, twickster!!
Buy lunch? Now you’re talking crazy.
Tom, I kind of picture you at work as super-smart and not suffering fools gladly. Any anger would be channelled into dripping sarcasm. Could that be the attitude you refer too?
Oh, come on. Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
and bring him to work!
If no one else wants it, I’ll take the emu.
I want a Panda. And I’d take him to work.
A robot monkey!
I’ve always thought one of the great things about being rich would be to walk into the boss’ office at any given time and say “this assignment is boring. I’ll be back when you have something more interesting.”
Dijon ketchup?
I cannot imagine what you are talking about. (Well, actually, I can.)
At that particular client, I was a former employee who had, through an odd set of circumstances, become the one programmer who knew where all the files of all the systems had to interact, all the design errors had made themselves manifest, and all the users and prior coders who had made incredibly stupid decisions had left their marks. When they needed to make significant changes to a system, they very literally could not do it successfully without my input. On three separate occasions they tossed me out because upper management had ordered all the contractors out of the building–twice I was back within a month. (The other time took a bit longer, but they used the first opportunity to haul me back in.) I was never rude and I was never insubordinate, but I probably was not quite as deferential as a vendor is supposed to be.
We notice you’ve been missing work.
Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been ‘missing it’, Bob!
Yeah, but Peter wasn’t rich. Just hypnotically uninhibited.
And he didn’t have a monkey either. Or an emu or a panda. He did have that fish, though.