I have a friend who has just left to join the navy for five years. I have known him for about four years and he’s shown some kind of a fatal attraction towards me. He was showing up at my work and at my mom’s work and he even tried to kiss me while I was on the clock. So I write him a letter telling him that I’m flattered by his attention but I really felt that their was someone else out there that was a better match for him and me. And that I would prefer to just stay friends. Well…two days before he leaves he asks me to spend the eve. of the fourth of July with him. So I agree. When he takes me home after the fireworks he talks about how he’s had this crazy dream about us getting married and having three children on a mountinside. And mentions how he just knows that we’re going to end up like his parents.
He’s a really nice person and I don’t want to hurt his feelings but he’s not taking the subtle hint that I’m not interested. His mom is now calling me at work to “stay in touch”. Is there a gentle way to deal with this?
You could write Ann Landers for advice…Oops!
Welcome to the SDMB and all, but, Sorry, rsk, this is in the wrong forum.
Restraining order. Post haste.
Is it possible that he has a different idea of friendship? Be specific and direct with him. If you prefer that he not contact you at work, tell him so. Be sure he does not misunderstand your expectations.
That’s scary. I’ve been on both sides of that kind of attraction & I know how uncomfortable it is. When he writes to you, you might want to write back & tell him in no uncertain terms that you have zero romantic interest in him & he is really creeping you out. If you tell him things like “I’m flattered by the attention but” it might leave enough room for him to go off on fantasies & get his own head all messed up over you.
Sorry. I posted this in the wrong forum. Please move to MPSIMS. Thanks.
Before this is moved, I do want to chime in that you should be blunt and say, “No, I am not interested.”
If he persists, cut off all contact. Period.
I’d say it’s moved beyond gentle. Sadly, I speak from experience, although fortunately, that was nipped in the bud before it got bad.