We’ve all heard tales of people who got tattoos in Chinese characters that said something they didn’t intend to get. You know, some guy got a tat he thought said “serenity” or “inner strength”, but it really said “Steamed cabbage with pork” or “shoe repair.”
I have no tattoos, but I keep having a crazy idea about getting one that, in some other language, says, “Foolish American Tourist.” What would that look like in, say, Chinese, Japanese, or Thai?
Chinese: 愚蠢的美国游客
Japanese: 愚かなアメリカ人観光客
Thai: นักท่องเที่ยวชาวอเมริกันโง่เขลา
All obtained from a free online translation so buyer beware.
That reminds me of a story from a website called Acts of Gord, sharing stories of this guy, Gord, who ran a video game store.
He had some Japanese characters put at the bottom of one of his windows that read, “Cute Japanese girl wanted. Inquire with management.”
You didn’t ask but…
Divehi: މޮޔަ އެމެރިކާގެ ފަތުރުވެރިއެކެވެ
Goan Konkani: मूर्ख अमेरिकन पर्यटक
Kannada: ಮೂರ್ಖ ಅಮೇರಿಕನ್ ಪ್ರವಾಸಿ
Korean: 어리석은 미국인 관광객
Kurdish: گەشتیارێکی گەمژەی ئەمریکی
Urdu: بے وقوف امریکی سیاح
@Little_Nemo 's “buyer beware” is the part that worried me. Part of my crazy fantasy involved getting a tat I thought said Foolish American Tourist, but having some angry guy ticked off about my ink that really said, “This American Hates Chinese People.”
A co-worker visited China and got a T shirt with his caricature on the front drawn in minutes by a street artist. He asked the painter to add some “words” so people could tell it was from China. The artist quickly added some beautiful calligraphy When he asked the artist what it said he replied, “T shirt. Five dollar”.
On a related note, someone on another website who had a Korean husband said they were watching a national TV news show that had a story from Korea, and in the background there was a sign with 3 lines on it, in Korean. Two were relatively innocuous, but one of them said something like “Hot XXX Girls Tonight!” and her husband found that quite amusing.
I was once in a tattoo place watching a friend as well as absently watching someone get their name inked on their back. The artist spelled it right, but when he showed it to his friend, the friend reacted like a typical man and said, Yeah, that looks great! G o e r g e! *
George passed right the heck out and hit everything he possibly could on his way down.
.
*not real name, mostly because I forgot what it was in all the excitement.
You’d need to get it translated (and independently verified) first and get the
tattooist to copy it exactly.
The problem is, even if you successfully get “Foolish American Tourist” tattooed
on you - no one is ever going to believe you did it deliberately.
I don’t understand why somebody would get their own name tattooed on themselves. Am I missing the point?
Not my skin, not my ink, but maybe they feel they are less likely to break up with themselves than a girlfriend? I have noticed that it seems to be a Latino thing out this way, but I haven’t really paid that much attention.
I can see that. But I feel that the point of a tattoo is to add something to yourself. And you can’t add your own name to yourself; you’ve already got that.
Plus, it’s going to be confusing for somebody who tattoos their own name on themselves and then transitions.
The last time I was in Japan (admittedly, a good number of years ago) it was common to see young people wearing T-shirts with English text. Perhaps 20% more or less made sense, e.g. “NY Yankees”. Many were gibberish, e.g. “Basket model wash” / “Now fly time calibration”. More than a few were obscene.
I would note that in Japan at least having any tattoos at all is considered a very low class/gangster thing, even if it did say something funny. Public baths/hot springs often have a “no tattoos” rule.
It comes in handy sometimes.
“Look, Bob, what part of this don’t you understand, eh? It’s a matter of style, okay? A proper brawl doesn’t just happen. You don’t just pile in, not any more. Now, Oyster Dave here — put your helmet back on, Dave — will be the enemy in front and Basalt who, as we know, don’t need a helmet, he’ll be the enemy coming up behind you. Okay, it’s well past knuckles time, let’s say Gravy there has done his thing with the Bench Swipe, there’s a bit of knifeplay, we’ve done the whole Chandelier Swing number, blah blah blah, then Second Chair — that’s you, Bob — you step smartly between their Number Five man and a Bottler, swing the chair back over your head like this — sorry, Pointy — and then swing it right back on to Number Five, bang, crash, and there’s a cushy six points in your pocket. If they’re playing a dwarf at Number Five then a chair won’t even slow him down but don’t fret, hang on to the bits that stay in your hand, pause one moment as he comes at you and then belt him across both ears. They hate that, as Stronginthearm here will tell you. Another three points. It’s probably going to be freestyle after that but I want all of you, including Mucky Mick and Crispo, to try for a Double Andrew when it gets down to the fist-fighting again. Remember? You back into each other, turn round to give the other guy a thumping, cue moment of humorous recognition, then link left arms, swing round and see to the other fellow’s attacker, foot or fist, it’s your choice. Fifteen points right there if you get it to flow just right. Oh, and remember we’ll have an Igor standing by, so if your arm gets taken off do pick it up and hit the other bugger with it— it gets a laugh and twenty points. On that subject, do remember what I said about getting everything tattooed with your name, all right? Igors do their best, but you’ll be on your feet much quicker if you make life easier for him and, what’s more, it’s your feet you’ll be on. Okay, positions everyone, let’s run through it again…”
One of my poker buddies (a quiet, normal guy in his 70s) has his own face inked as large as he could get it across his arm. Of course, he makes sure to tell people who it is (no tattoo looks half as good as its real life subject).
We just roll our eyes.
I knew a guy who had a colorful bird inked down one arm. I asked him if it was a parrot. He laughed, and said, “That’s my 10-inch cock!”
We saw a lot of bad English in South Korea. My sister saw a cake that was grammatically correct and all, but unfortunately read"I hope you’re happy now". I cannot hear that in anything but something said between clenched teeth.
Like this?
One of my favorite gifts from a friend was something she found in Japan. It’s a reusable bag loaded with those nonsense phrases and cats. Phrases include “Miso Pretty” “Fresh from the Factory” “Darling No 1” “Bag Luck”. It generates lots of comments from others, but is also tempting for the light fingered so I don’t bring it out that often. But at home, it sits where I can see it because it makes me smile.