What if Satan said... "I'm Sorry"

It’s a simple question, do you have a simple answer?

I’m interested in other peoples thoughts on this subject. I’ve heard many responses before, but never from people that I don’t know…

Apologies are all well and fine.

Actions speak louder than words though. If Satan is sorry then he can endeavor to make the world a better place. Otherwise just so much hot air.

I’m an atheist. My knee jerk reaction would be that God would forgive him but I’m not so sure. After all, the biblical God doesn’t seem to offer anyone an opportunity for forgiveness once they are dead. Of course this doesn’t really apply to Satan since he was an angel and might not have been alive in the sense that people are. I’m going to go with no forgiveness for Satan. He broke whatever covenant God had with the angels and all the covenants mentioned in the bible (with Abraham, Noah, between Jesus and everybody) doesn’t seem to include the angels.


And God Spake, saying “No rewrites-just stick to the script.”

Why, what did he do?

The same thing that would happen if you were convicted of murder one and apologized. You’d be sentenced and have to serve your time.

Should he truly repent, that is sufficient for absolution.

What’s he got to be sorry for? He’s doing the job the Lord made him for. You know, being the prosecuting attorney and all that.

But then the End Times are no longer, and the Bible is no long inerrant. If the Bible is inerrant, that what it says about absolution is no long valid.

That’d be awesome.

So, God can arrange for a third section of the Bible to be written, which will correct the errors in the same way as the New Testament fixed up the Old Testament.

(Alternatively, God already has, and the third section is called the Quran.)

Or the book of Mormon. :slight_smile:

what’s the good book say’s going to happen to Satan in the end? Does he really have it that bad in hell?

There are some writers who wrote that the Devil and fallen angels will eventually ask fo forgiveness and that is how the world will end. I think the most famous was Origen. Most of his writings were destroyed by the early church for heresy, though.

Didn’t kill enough people

I still wouldn’t forgive him for that thread about whether he should let his girlfriend bumfuck him [shudder]

Yes, as far as I read it, Satan is working for God, and doing a pretty bang-up job of it, too. Especially since God keeps changing the rules. What is Satan apologising for?

For the End Times, some other demon could step up and become the Adversary; it’s not like there’s a shortage.

However, although I’ve not read any part of the Bible since childhood — and even then I found it amazingly uninteresting — I’m pretty sure Absolution is catholic doctrine rather than biblical commandment; although based upon RC interpretation of statements therein. The sacraments of Confession and of the Last Rites presuppose that earnest rejection of one’s sins and penitence automatically ensures reconciliation with God no matter how grave those sins. Status cannot disqualify any being.
As for having it bad in Hell, probably not: he would be too busy to be tormented himself and no doubt has many home comforts. His punishment is being separated from God. Revelations states he will suffer in the Final Judgement: but a/ sufferings in Hell may be figurative rather than actual, and b/ Bernard Shaw implied that John the Divine was a crazed junkie, which seems remarkably persuasive considering the sort of sects that have made a big deal out of the stuff John wrote.

Thank you, Mijin! I wanted to post that too.

I love to use the numbers argument too. 10 < 33 million. :smiley: If given a choice between gods, this Satan guy seems a lot nicer and I would worship him. Only kills when his boss tells him to. Only one thing: he shares one great characteristic with Yahweh…

They don’t exist!

If Satan says “I’m sorry”, God kicks him in the balls, hits the Stone Cold Stunner on him, gives him the double middle finger, and says “Austin 3:16 says I just kicked your ass.”. Then God’s music plays, and the fans toss Him some beers to chug while He climbs the turnbuckle.

Yeah, this is what I’d need to know before answering the question. Which version of “satan” are we talking about, and what is the transgression he’s to answer for?