I would be surprised that we raised a child who valued money more than her own body. We both worked pretty hard on helping her learn to build a shelter of self-esteem.
I don’t think shaming is necessary when a child makes a mistake. But I believe that it would be a mistake for her to choose that path for herself.
I’d be interested in her circumstances because it would definitely be a delusion of easy money or a situation of dire straits, I think, if she were prostituting herself. And if she wanted help I’d be glad to help her find a solution that would be less dangerous for her.
If she were adamant that that’s what she was going to do I wouldn’t expect that the outcome would be good for her but I’d stand by to pick up the pieces.
Same thing we did when she lived in a drug house until she bottomed out. So I’ve got some practice in letting go of your children. Ultimately I think it works better to let them know you’re there and allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from them that it does to try to force a change of behavior. If they are an adult, that is.
Non-parent. I don’t like the idea of turning everything in ones life into a commodity. Prostitution seems like a big step to losing one’s value as a living creature and becoming a widget in an economic machine.
I’d be perfectly ok with it (big surprise not), but only if it was a choice she made with clear intention, not if she fell into it to support her drug habit or was being forced by a man she thought she loved, etc.
Depends on the woman. I’ve known a lot of prostitutes. Some of them don’t consider sex work as exhausting (physically, mentally, or psychologically) or as much of a health-risk as some of the other jobs they’ve had. Also, you’ve got to apply a little real-world logic to your hypothetical. The chances of the regular jobs those woman hold ever paying as much as hooking is more or less nil.
I didn’t say every one hates it, but yes, they’re faking it when they say that they’re coming. Is that really a news flash? Do people think that porn videos are documentaries or something?
I think it’s juvenile, and this is the SDMB, not a men’s room stall.
Wanting to get off though is only one reason a woman may be having sex however. Probably for most of human society, sex has been a commodity for which people will bargain over. We all know there are plenty of women for which sex is simply a way to get and keep a husband, especially a well-earning husband. I don’t see a real difference between that an paying per sex act prostitution. A well-kept mistress is essentially a prostitute with a single client. I don’t like using the word slut because it reaks of blaming the woman for everything wrong in her life, so I guess the phrase extremely casual in choosing sexual partners will have to do as the most neutral term. Some women are extremely casual in choosing sexual partners because they are afraid to be alone or they are constantly seeking attention. In cases like this the woman is essentially offering her body in exchange for a fee paid in flattery or the illusion of emotional intimacy instead of money.
So by analogy:
[ul][li]wife = buying a house[/li][li]mistress = renting an apartment[/li][li]high-end escort = leasing a time-share[/li][li]hooker = getting a motel room[/li][/ul]
I find it pretty sad that there are people in this thread who discuss “disowning” their kid in a situation like this. Because that approach always works so well when you perceive your kid to have made bad lifestyle choices…
Anyway, I’d have to pick her brain on the subject (assuming she were willing to be open and discursive about why she decided to do this). Obviously, depending on the situation, this can be an extremely risky choice of profession, but ZPG Zealot makes good points regarding the psychological and social aspects of sex work. A kid doing this to feed an addiction is one thing; what Sasha Grey does in The Girlfriend Experience is something else entirely.
More or less a correct analogy, for most of human civilization (defined as the point at which we get some sort of economy going that doesn’t demand 100% of the tribe out just securing food, but can have some specialized workers), sexual relations especially for women have been commodified.
In the wake of the 1997 financial crisis, many businesses closed, and the freelancer joints filled with newly unemployed secretaries and other office staff. Some were asking only for a bed to sleep in for the night and breakfast in the morning. So no money changed hands on some of those occasions. Would that still be prostitution? Those were some hard times.
But surely there is a difference between folks who work as illegal “escorts” and prostitutes-- and those that work in the legal brothels of Nevada, no? I’d imagine women working illegal suffer from a lot of the negative effects discussed in this thread, so that certainly would be in the forefront of their minds. Anytime someone chooses to do something illegal, there are other factors, ya know?
I suppose I’m just going off the girls I personally know who work in the brothels in Nevada, but they do appear to really enjoy their jobs (and I’m not simply saying this from the HBO show, these are folks I know. I suggested Dopers watch that docu-series because the girls I know said it’s a pretty accurate representation of what goes on). The women make lots and lots and lots of money, only have to work a few days a month, and- those I talked to- have somewhat nympho personalities, so they love all the sex. Hearing them talk about being hookers is like hearing my photographer friend talk about the art of taking pictures- they love it.
Sure, but a 15-16 year-old isn’t emotionally mature enough to deal with the emotional and pragmatic consequences of a lot of one-night stands, whether she’s getting paid for them or not. Hell, there’s a large number of 20-somethings who aren’t either, not that it stops them.
The early-to-mid-teen years are really crucial in a person’s emotional-sexual development. Becoming a prostitute at that age as a “fun and easy” way to make extra cash has a strong possibility of having a permanent negative effect on how well they are able to form healthy attachments/relationships for the rest of their life. Is that worth it for a bit of extra spending money?
I got the impression that the original poster was saying that their daughter is 15 now, but when she’s an adult. . . all of what they said. Very few folks would advocate their underage daughter turning tricks.
Wow. And I thought I was a cynic. Do you really think it’s so rare for people, especially women, to get sexually involved with someone because they, you know, love each other?
Eeeehhhh… I wouldn’t hold Sasha Grey up as a poster child for a healthy approach to prostitution / sex work. I’ve seen some of her “Sasha Grey on Sasha Grey” YouTube videos, and the poor girl is as dumb as a post. It seems she’s very easily led because someone, somewhere, told her it was cool to be an “activist,” but she really makes no coherent arguments for her choices at all. She verbally meanders a lot, and claims that she’s been misrepresented a lot, but she can’t / won’t actually point to how, exactly, she was misrepresented… or, you know, make any sort of attempt to explain or clear up the misrepresentation.
Honestly, I think she’s way more damaging to the mainstream’s perception of BDSM than helpful. Emotionally, she comes across to me as on the level of maybe a 12-year-old.
I have no moral problems with prostitution, however I feel the number of women who are genuinely happy being prostitutes is extremely low vergeing on non-existent. And, yes, street corner hookers have it worse, but a prostitution is prositution even if if the price is $1000 and the sheets are nice.
Wow. And I thought I was a cynic. Do you really think it’s so rare for people, especially women, to get sexually involved with someone because they, you know, love each other?
[quote=“jordanr2, post:71, topic:555411”]
To perfectly honest, I think outside of the Western European and American middle class and then only since World War II , getting sexually involved with someone just because you love them has been rather rare for women.
