The bit I quoted above makes it sound like you think it still basically never happens. Women only have sex because they’re afraid of being alone, or because they want access to their husband’s money. (So we’re either pathetic or golddiggers, I suppose.)
To be blunt, I don’t personally know anyone like either of those examples. I do know a lot of people who think love is more important than money, though. They’re capable of having healthy reciprocal relationships, or being by themselves, too.
And that would be because that is how you view it and how you would experience it.
But you are mistaken, I assure you. Many, many women are very, very happy being prostitutes.
I’ll wager most of those people who think love is more important than money live in the first world and are at least upper working class. The point I was trying to make was that sexual choice for women is a relatively modern concept and even now is limited to a few living in parts of the world where a woman can earn a living on her own. It’s not about being pathetic or a golddigger, it’s about basic survival.
I’m sure this is true, but I’m certain it’s not true for all prostitutes, and a significant amount of those that are unhappy are extremely unhappy. That is, living for the next fix and in constant fear of violence unhappy.
Therefore, if my hypothetical daughter was a prostitute, and I had no other information I’d be extremely worried. I’ve no moral issue here at all, it’s purely a practical one.
Sorry, don’t buy it. Some, maybe, many many, no.
You make the common error of equating prostitution with drug addiction.
If your daughter is a drug addict, how she pays for her drugs is an issue, but less of an issue than her addiction, I hope.
If your daughter is NOT a drug addict, and she has chosen to be a hooker because the pay is great, the hours rock and she likes sex…what’s the problem?
By the way, here’s a modification of the question.
Among those who would be unhappy, would your unhappiness be reduced if your daughter was a prostitute legally?
Oh I wasn’t talking about Grey herself, just the fictional character she plays in a movie (a high-class call girl).
I’m not saying I think drug addiction is involved in all, or even most, prostitution. I’m saying that it happens enough that, without other information, I’d be concerned. You’re correct that the drug addiction is a problem, my worry is that a prostitute desperate for a fix will put herself in far more dangerous situations than, well, almost anyone else to be honest. If it turns out she is safe and happy, i have no problem.
Oh, and I would have far fewer concerns if it were legal, as she would presumably have much greater protection by the police. If anyone lives somewhere it’s legal, is this true?
“If your daughter is NOT a drug addict, and she has chosen to be a hooker because the pay is great, the hours rock and she likes sex…what’s the problem?”
The problem that such claimed situations are more myth than reality and she’s more likely to be in some form of denial about the situation if this is her claim.
Otara
Really? I’m so glad you were here to tell me the truth about how all the women I know who do this really feel. Whew! Silly me just believed they knew their own minds.
And how did you come by this god-like understanding of other people’s feelings? It’s quite a talent, I’d love to learn more…
Okay. Would that be based on your extensive personal experience with prostitutes?
“Really? I’m so glad you were here to tell me the truth about how all the women I know who do this really feel”
Well theres the anecdotal claim of someone on the internet then theres my personal clinical experience and the reams of written information on the subject contradicting your claims.
I think I know which Ill take my chances with.
Otara
This from the National Institute of Health discusses the correlation, though not causation, between drug abuse and prostitution:
In issues of self-reporting it is very difficult to get accurate information from people involved in drug abuse or prostitution.
There is still a great deal of classism peeking through here. There are many still who believe that people with money don’t share the same problems as the poor. Not true. Fine clothing and nice digs protect no one from victim’s issues.
The deal is that all, regardless of their level of physical protection, carry the same psychological vulnerability. Drugs help with that. Use enough and you actually think you’re having a good time.
This is a thread chock full of folks who have never so much as spoken to a prostitute, making all kinds of judgmental extrapolations. In fairness, my experience is limited to the legal prostitutes in NV (hey, prostitutes have tax issues, too! All kinds of professions stroll through my doors), but I can say that those girls seem quite pleased with their job and feel their representation on documentaries and series is accurate. They’re probably just lying whores, though.
Then why, as you already indicated, do they have regular jobs in the first place?
And, I’m sorry for Dio, but it’s stupid to spell the word coming. It’s not juvenile, it’s insisting that people not use a legitimate word for a “dirty” purpose. I think spelling it coming is juvenile, as it implies that you don’t think we know what you mean. Plus, honestly, I’ve only seen it spelled it that way here amongst you older people.*
*I wanted to say “old fogeys,” but I’m paranoid about winding up banned for personal insults that aren’t.
I hear you. I have and still know quite a few prostitutes, but again the situation is different over here. Although even the vast majority of Thai prostitutes are in it for the money, there is still a small subset – very small admittedly but it does exist – of girls who are in the industry simply because they love to screw.
And the lifestyle itself tends to be addictive. Those of them on drugs tend to burn out early, but the lifestyle itself is addictive. Suddenly they’re flush with money, and there are parties every night and all-night card games, and if they’re really lucky they get taken to beaches and resorts and four- or five-star hotels. They bond with the other girls, who act as their surrogate family in the big, cold city that they’ve just arrived in from the sticks. Thais love to gamble, and bargirls are no exception. Many’s the time I’ve walked into a bar on a slow night and all the girls are intent on their games of chance.
I have even seen a few girls who managed to find farang (Western) husbands who whisked them off to their corner of Farangland, and the girls will return here for a visit alone – Mama’s sick or some such excuse – and they can be seen dancing in their old bar and going with custmers the whole couple of weeks they’re here! then back to hubby, who is none the wiser. They just needed to let their hair down a bit.
(Personally, I can go with the “coming” or “cumming” spelling, either one is fine with me.)
I believe Dio was referring to the part-time prostitutes Siam Siam had observed in Asia who work when their regular jobs aren’t paying as much as they need or would like. For them the regular job od maybe easier, but doesn’t pay as much as necessary, so prostitution becomes acceptable to them as a secondary source of income. And it’s not unusual for anyone, first or third world, to relay on more than one source of income. I’m not familiar with prostitites in Asia, but I have known prostitutes from Asia working in the United States and a number of prostitutes in the Balkans. For each woman (sorry, don’t know any male prostitutes) the equation is different for what they will and will not do to earn a living. Some will use prostitution as a full time source of income if they can make good money at it. Their opinion is that they can work in the factories or as domestics or the fields when their older, but if they can make ten times those wages as prostitutes, they are not going to pass up that opportunity. Many would perfer to be married, but only to a man capable of supporting them (i.e., essentially a long-term prostitution contract in my opinion). Some would like to non-prostitution work, but the economies are bad in their countries and they choose to turn tricks rather than sweep streets or hoe potatoes.
As covered in other prostitution threads, the researchers have access to a very limited group of prostitutes, primarily streetwalkers.
I, on the other hand, have access to large numbers of call girls and other non-streewalking drug addict prostitutes, because of my stepmother. I’ve known LOTS. In ways no researcher could ever hope to.
And officially, I sit on the board of ISWFACE, the non-profit organization that my stepmother founded. (International Sex Worker’s Foundation for Art Culture and Education).
I live in Australia where prostitution is legal.
I guess I shouldnt worry too much given the poll results, its pretty obvious who has to convince who and how successful they’ve been.
Otara