What Inanimate Object Could You Go Full Basil Fawlty On?

The BBQ Pit
1

I wasn’t sure between this forum and IMHO, but this is for rants in general.

You remember this scene? Of course you do.

I feel for Basil because I can totally relate.

At my workplace, they have recently renovated. Now we have all the stripped down, big fat pylons and pipes running through our office so that with a little imagination, you can make believe you’re working from a homeless camp under a highway overpass. Yay.

But that is not what brings up memories of Basil for me.

It’s the washrooms; the washroom sinks to be exact.

I could complain that the long slab sink brings to mind washing your hands in the piss trough at Wrigley Field, but I could overlook that.

No, it’s that we have super modern faucets. These are faucets that turn on by sensor instead of taps. These are faucets that run cold water, and you cannot adjust the temperature.

Some have complained about that, but I haven’t. I normally wash my hands with cold water.

No, my hatred is directed towards the other nifty feature that this oh-so-cutting-edge faucet. Some educated-beyond-intelligence designer somehow talked our renovation coordinator into getting sensor activated blow-dryers put directly into the giant spigot.

So now if you rinse your hands and you raise those hands just a teensy bit up, it sets off the blowers and you get a cold dirty water shower from the piss trough, I mean, sink slab. It is loud as fuck too, for that extra adrenaline shock that you didn’t want while peacefully washing your hands in icy cold water.

In my fantasies, I imagine myself doing something like that famous Fawlty Towers scene. Usually I am wielding a sledgehammer rather than a tree branch though.

Blowers in the faucets SUCK!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Are there any mechanical devices that you would care to commit acts of savagery upon?

2

Ugh, I am so sick of “improvements” that are actually solutions to problems that don’t exist. We don’t need sensors on faucets or lasers on towel dispensers. We definitely don’t need touch screens in any kind of moving vehicle.

But mostly I feel this way about computers. I’m sick of updates ruining perfectly good software by rendering it unusable. I’m fed up with various providers changing interfaces for no apparent reason, when they were perfectly fine to begin with. How often must I wake up to find a program that worked yesterday is now completely fucked because of “improvements” to security or whatnot?

And if that weren’t enough, what do I have to look forward to when I’m finally forced to move on from Windows 7? I get to use Windows 10 with its forced updates that take some effort (or so I’ve read) to stop so the stupid thing doesn’t sit there for an hour like a brick when you’re either trying to work or just shut it down. The world is actually getting worse in this respect, and I can’t understand why we aren’t demanding better.

So to answer the question, I once did a Basil Fawlty on a laptop computer that was being sulky. I was in the process of replacing it anyway, and when one day it refused to boot I smashed it on the floor, threw it across the room and then jumped up and down on it.

It felt really great.

3

I used to have a clock with a terrible alarm sound and a snooze button that preferred not working. One frustrated morning, I simply pounded the snooze button harder and harder in an attempt to end the situation and by Og I did. Broke that ddamned thing into a few dozen pieces. Went back to sleep for a few minutes, got up and went and bought a new clock.

4

I once had a backup tape that failed me, losing some data I valued quite a lot, and in a calm and measured response I took it outside, put it under the wheel of my car, and ran it over. I’m not sure that counts as a “device”, though.

5

Broke a door in my house a few years ago. The door between the kitchen and laundry room/pantry, and where I keep the trash container. It must have never been hung in proper “plumb”, and thus no matter where you put it ( if it wasn’t latched shut ) it would always swing and settle at a place midway through its swinging arc. Perfect place for me to bump or bang into because it moved to its “spot” unseen by me ( behind my back ). Annoying!

One time I went in to switch clothes from the washer to the dryer, and one of my moves had me bash my elbow back HARD into the edge of the door. I erupted into a fury, slammed the door shut, and kicked the damn thing 2 or 3 times with all my might. As to the feeling of impotent rage, think of Tom Hanks on the movie ‘Castaway’ after he gores the palm of his hand with the sharp end of a stick after it caught on something while he was trying to start a fire by friction. Think of that, minus the throwing of the volleyball.

When I got a new door, before putting the hinge pins back in, I bent them slightly. Enough friction on the hinging action so that the door stays wherever it’s put. :slight_smile:

6

Good for you! I’ve always wanted to do that. Apparently, so have a lot of office workers, which is why the Office Space printer scene(s) hit home.

7

Ugh! I’m so right there with you on this. The OS calendar used to allow you to actually write things like appts in on different days. And when you viewed ‘month’, you could see a Dr appt this day, a vet spot that day, someone’s birthday end of next week, etc, etc.

On the last update, they changed it such that whatever you put it, it registered on the ‘month view’, only as a little dot! So you now have to click through to see if it’s the vet, dr, or Bday. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, you just have to go back and forth. Completely defeating the entire purpose of a monthly calendar. How stupid is that?

I went to App Store to seek out a better calendar, big surprise, they’re all pretty much the same now. Each screen you’re now forced to click through, comes with ads. Ugh.

Also, originally there were letters only on the top keyboard, with numbers underneath. And there still are, but that’s not good enough, NO! Now they have added ghost numbers to the top keyboard as well. No explanation on how you actually deploy them, the shift key still creates capitals. But it’s extremely useful if you suddenly want numbers appearing in your words. You used to be able to go quite fast on the old keyboard, but apparently they don’t want that, so developed this to slow you down! Jackasses!

Another update on one keyboard, they split a full length space bar, into half space bar, half UNDO ! What the hell? Typing along, hit space, all you just typed disappears. Who thought this was a good idea?

8

Haven’t used the “OS calendar” in years, not since I noticed a friend using a calendar where everything was laid out, easy-to-see, and all color-coded.

The app is Calendars+ by Readdle.

As a visual person, I love that I can assign colors to specific tasks (like “Brewers Blue” for baseball games, “Purple Pain” for meetings, and “Terry Teal” for things my wife is doing). That way I can tell at a glance that next week isn’t going to be too busy for me, but hell for the wife.

9

I have a meditation app. I use one specific guided meditation daily. That’s it. They have a “favorites” place to store it.

Every god damn week they have to redo the entire layout so I’ve got to go searching for favorites again. Sometimes it’s on the opening screen. Other times it’s hidden three deep in menus.

I have been so tempted to chuck my whole phone out the window because of that one stupid app.

10

I’m 6’3" with long legs, and I’m not particularly flexible, but somehow I was able to get my foot up so I could kick the windshield out of my recalcitrant Chevy Vega.

11

I did a Fawlty on a bike once. It was a cheap piece of shit that I bought to get to and from work, and the chain kept coming off. Cycling home from work on my last day it slipped, and I lost control of the bike and almost plowed into the road. I stomped on that fucker and threw it in a hedge. Victory!

12

I want to Hulk smash the toilet paper in the bathrooms at work. They use the giant round rolls of toilet paper and it is probably the cheapest and thinnest toilet paper on Earth. As soon as you try to pull it it falls apart. And the giant rolls take some effort to pull especially when they are new. So you either end up with a handful of little bits or try to reach in and turn the roll with your fingers. And there are little bits all over the floor from when people tried to pull and it fell apart.

13

I have a motion sensor light at the back door. It doesn’t work properly and needs to be replaced.

It’s almost comical what it does - you walk up to the back door in the dark. Nothing happens. You curse the f’n light fumble with your keys and lock and finally get into the house.

At this point the light comes on.

Thrash, thrash, thrash.

14

Blowers in the faucet? Huh? That’s the stupidest thing I heard in a long time.

15

Right, but a sledgehammer would be satisfying. The tree branch in impotent rage.

Nothing make me feel more like that than my work computer. Breaking it would solve my issue, I just am not allowed to.

16

I knew exactly which “Fawlty Towers” scene you linked to! That entire episode made me pee with laughter the first time I saw it. That one and “Basil the Rat” are my favs.

I’m an amazon seller because I have a ton (well, several tons, probably) of books, and I can’t keep them all. Periodically, I cull and check which are worth more money to sell than donate. Amazon recently changed their method of buying shipping on the sellers site, and it doesn’t freaking work!!! First, you have to download the application, which I did, and it says it’s working. But it doesn’t. Argh! Fortunately, it did save a hardcopy that I could open and print from. It was so much more straight forward before. I’m tempted to just skip amazon’s shipping completely and just use my usps application. Yes, I think I’ll do that.

17

Office Space got it in 1: Printers. Never had one which wasn’t the bane of my puny existence.

18

I know this nothing original but those freakin’ plastic clamshell packages send me right off. Maybe not Basil Fawlty but definitely Larry David. I HATE those damn things and curse the person who invented them.

19

But at least there’s some reason for the clamshells: To cut down on shoplifting.
All the changes for the sake of changing something that works just fine, though, really grinds my gears.

20

Just google “Blowers in the faucet” and you’ll get a picture of it, minus the sledgehammer damage.