I hiccup so well that it astounds people. I once stopped a country and western band with the volume of my hiccups. People stare at me and then have giggling fits when I hiccup. They re very loud and my whole torso just jerks with the force of them.
What involuntary bodily fuction could you win an Olympic gold medal for?
I seem to be doing OK at breathing.
I developed the ability to burp at will, following an extremely painful stomach condition that was ruled out as being gallstones. So it’s involuntary for most people, but voluntary for me. I guess I’ve worked out how to control that upper sphincter, whatever it’s called!
My sneezes can stun a cat at twenty paces.
That’s heroic. Please can you stalk Jedward.
My blood clots ridiculously well.
I can make my stomach rumble at will. I used to think, as superpowers go, that’s about as lame as they get. But I’ve recently realized its true potential:
“Oh honey, that was fantastic. Now I just want to lie here and cuddle forever!”
rumble rumble
“Oh no, you’re starving! Let’s go find you something to eat.”
I also have shockingly loud (and amazingly painful) hiccups. I rarely get them, though.
If I really want to offend, I can eat quite a few bananas and have exceedingly noxious gas for a couple days. I discovered that one by accident while in college and avoid bananas these days. But if for some reason I needed to have choking/gagging/peeling-paint-off-the-walls gas, I know how to do it.
And am I alone in the ability to consciously raise/lower my pulse?
I had an inguinal hernia surgery in 2003. To this day, I can feel an orgasm building because I get a strange spasm at the incision site. I am able to use that to ward off any surprise orgasms and last as long as I want. It comes in quite handy.
I can voluntarily send chills down my spine.
Bolding mine.
Errr…wha? You know what causes those, right?
Lately, I’ve been setting some sort of world records in the flatus department. People don’t seem to appreciate it, though.
I meant the ones that are a little premature. I can feel them in my incision about 30 seconds before they happen. So when I start to feel it, I can change what I’m doing to postpone it.
I’m with the OP and Zsofia on the hiccup thing. Mine aren’t painful though; in fact, they are rather satisfying unless they go on too long. They are so strong and loud and filled with gusto that I’ve been accused of faking them. When I’m home, I just let them rip, but in public (esp. at work) I use every hiccup cure I’ve heard of to make them go away.
sneezing. i live in a row home, someone 3 doors away in their back yard yelled “bless you” once.
cats fear my sneezing.
sometimes in an office chair i roll back a little.
panda sneezing is a small mouse of a sneeze compared to mine.
I have accelerated healing power, especially for cuts. If I hold the edges of a cut or needle jab together, it stays together after about 5 minutes, and the bleeding stops. For other lacerations, they usually dry out and scab within 24 hours (usually without washing,) and are completely healed within a week. I don’t scar from cuts or pimples, the only scars I have are from massive scrapes from sliding into bases during baseball (before I started wearing a kneepad) and the time I slid down a hill after falling off a skateboard (a scar about the size of a 50 cent piece.) These injuries also expel any foreign matter inside of them. In the handful of times where my cuts have gotten infected, in nearly every case it was because I tried to clean them. One of the most severe cuts I ever had (on my hand,) I left it uncovered on the edge of the bed overnight and by the next morning it was healing nicely with a pool of blood on the floor.
I have the loudest cough you have ever heard. I once disrupted final exams for an entire three story building my senior year of college because I had bronchitis. The professors didn’t know what to do because I had to finish the test to graduate but nobody in the building could take theirs while I was coughing every few seconds. They put me in a closet on the third floor and bought me cough drops so that I could finish and just leave everyone alone.
I, for one, have never had a surprise orgasm, which I think makes me some sort of superman, judging from Rafe’s post.
I can burp and fart any time I please.
I also have weirdly loud and painful hiccups. They hurt quite a lot. When I was dating my husband, I got them and he thought I was faking (though why, and how, I would fake such a bizarre sound I do not know). The only remedy I have ever found is to drink a glass of water with my ears and nose plugged–nothing else works.
I also have weirdly loud sneezes if I don’t work hard to smother them. That’s my dad’s fault.