I have often heard my girlfriend talk about being in the best shape of her life when she was in her early 50’s. She will always add that the feeling she got from looking so good was better than sex. I have pondered this for the past year, usually culminating in the thought that it really just depends how good the sex is. And more important than how good is the sex, it is what we are comparing it to. I readily admit to having a somewhat limited field of view when it comes to sex. I am and always have been a very sexually active male. but I have never watched porn or read sexual material so my views are more shaped by what is in my face.
This morning after our little morning chat it occurred to me what might qualify as better than sex even though it is very closely related to sex. I have never felt that I had attained the kind of trust from a woman that I had always longed for, the kind of trust that you both know would never be broken no matter what happened between you. In my last relationship we were together for 24 years. We were very rocky for maybe the first 12 of that with both of us cheating on each other. After awhile we realized how much we liked each other and gradually started growing closer. As we got older the quality of certain aspects of the sex started gradually going down but the intimacy continued to grow, slowly but it was growing. I found myself relishing that and enjoying every tid bit that came my way. We were becoming more and more affectionate to one another which led to improved sexual activity again. But it was the trust factor that was the overwhelming turn on. She passed a couple of years ago and we hadn’t yet reached the level I always longed for but I am thankful for the level we reached.
I find myself now looking for that in women. I enjoy the feeling of the " Best is yet to come" that goes along with true intimacy. If I don’t see it heading in that direction I tend to ignore all the other good things going on in a relationship and want to move on. What is your Better than Sex" ?