I know from the boards that a bear is a gay man who is larger, hairier, more dominant ??? Please correct or clarify at will.
The situation is, generally at work I am a prude. I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about sexual things and generally speaking that is the atmosphere here. Of course people will reveal their sexual orientation through comments about their husband/boyfriend/partner, etc., which is a part of appropriate small talk about family stuff, kids, etc. But anything beyond that starts feeling uncomfortable to me.
So there’s a guy at work who bought a new mug. This being VT/NH, I wasn’t surprised and thought it was cute. Then he tells me “it’s a gay thing” and I should be on the lookout for bear emblem items or a bearclaw sticker on vehicles.
This is what unsettled me. I don’t care what sexual orientation people are (although I do reflect on it to be sure), but I don’t want to hear about their specific predilections.
Hence the question; how much is implied in the term? In telling me he’s a bear, what is he telling me? I was trying to think of a straight equivalent; is it the same as the married-to-a-guy woman in the next office saying…? What?